To Return The Way I Was Before
by Yum
Summary: All it took was a single fall to show how fragile and important their friendship was. Formerly from Gateways. Contains spoilers from season 1 and 2.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note : This is yet an old story from the beloved "Gateways" fanzine. A wonderful zine by a wonderful editor. I think my muse flourished writing for them. Dedicated to Cleo (hi!). Thank you!

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"Hold onto him!" A voice that sounded like it was hoarse from shouting was barely inches away from his ear. It sent piercing waves of agony vibrating throughout his entire body.

Water.

_Cold_ water.

He felt his arms being yanked upward, lifting him above the chilling water he was floating on and that hurt. He cried out in protest and tried to pull his limbs back.

"Sorry," someone muttered, close to his ear.

"Over here!" A higher pitched voice, female, called out from a distance.

_What?_

When did they get a female on the team? He could have sworn…

Another yank. More pain.

He must have groaned again because a hand brushed across his forehead and the voices lowered, the jerky pulls on his sore body gentler. Arms went around his shoulders and he realized whoever it was, the person was wet, too. Droplets of water ran down the person's sleeves to his clothes.

_What did we do…take a dip in the ocean?_

_Wait._

There wasn't any ocean here…not one he recalled seeing.

"I will carry him."

Another voice. A deeper one. One he couldn't recognize. Just how many other people were on this team, and he didn't notice?

Hands bracing him, two…no…four…two on his legs, two under his armpits. Breathless, his chest heaving, he felt himself being hauled up. He felt enormously heavy, weighted down. Fidgeting, twisting, it occurred to him it was because of the water.

"Relax. We got you."

The same voice again. He could hear something odd in it, but he couldn't tell what due to the loud splashing.

_Splashing?_

Something soft wrapped around him and he shivered, suddenly realizing he was cold. Arms carried and settled him down on the hard earth as gently as possible. He moaned when he made contact with the unforgiving surface; and coughed as his body was laid across the ground. His throat burned. He felt a hand pounding him hard. Curling on his side, he vomited water. More hands came, rubbing at his back, wordlessly encouraging that horrible reaction to happen over and over again until no more water spewed. Gasping, moaning, as the retching made his whole body clench and his chest stab with hot needles, he didn't fight when those hands flipped him on his back once again.

Nothing else existed except for the pain.

Everything hurt. Especially his head. It felt like it was on fire. Pounding non-stop, the intensity always increasing, never decreasing.

Someone was prying his eyes open.

"Na…" His mouth felt stuffed with cotton or sand…maybe both. He protested feebly, trying to twist his head away from the hands, but his neck felt so stiff. Strong fingers gripped the back of his neck and a palm lay on top of his forehead, keeping him still.

"Easy…easy…" Insistent hands peeled back an eyelid. Tears sprang up as bright searing light from the suns bore down, burning his eyes. He tried turning his head away. Aching hands weakly tried to push the offending ones away, but the hands on his neck and head pressed harder to hold him down.

Giving up, he opened both eyes and saw a pale-faced woman smiling tightly over him. Her long blond bangs were dripping water, on his face like falling rain until she noticed, mumbled an apology and leaned back away from his line of sight.

"Hey, how you doing?" Another face. Narrow, stern eyes, a scowl twisting the features, a bruise marring the cheek. Wait…he knew that one.

Before he could put a name to it, the woman came back.

"Can you tell me your name?" Her voice was soft, eyes expressively worried. It was a face he wasn't used to see directed at him.

He swallowed and told her, middle initial and all. Surprise flickered in her blue eyes. Apparently, she didn't know that part.

"How about your birth date?" she asked while her hand slipped behind to feel around his head.

"July…eigh—ah!" He jerked, hissing as her fingers found the lump behind his left ear.

"Sorry," the woman murmured, pulling back. She tried unsuccessfully to hide her fingers, but he saw the blood tipping them. He tried to sit up; everything blurred. Someone swore. He had a feeling it was that familiar man from before and a hand pushed him back down.

Blinking, he saw the world refocus once more, and the olive green uniforms came as three of them hovered over him with equally anxious expressions.

He paused, mouth slightly open partly to breathe better and partly in shock.

One face he knew; the name strangely at the tip of his tongue, maddeningly out of reach. The other two…

_Wait a minute._

The uniforms…they looked…off.

"Pupils uneven," the woman whispered low to her companion, but he heard her anyway. The man with the frown looked at him again.

"You okay?"

He nodded then winced as it created a sensational fireworks display flashing behind his eyes. The man with the scowl, that stern iron look in his eyes, seemed to sense this. He reached over a hand to grip his, giving it a small squeeze before letting go.

"We're getting out of here." The voice was gruff.

"B-but…" He tried to speak.

"No buts." The man frowned once more, and he wondered fuzzily if the guy even knew how to smile at all. "A nosedive off a cliff isn't exactly playground stuff."

"Off…off a cliff?" he echoed in disbelief.

The frown grew, the entire face changing with it as the man scowled down at him.

"Don't you remember?"

He finally found the air to speak. He shakily pushed himself up on his elbow, his mind finally drawing a name to that face. His confusion was apparent as he spoke. "Cliff? What cliff? I thought we were heading back to the pyramid, Colonel O'Neill."

Then, the strangest thing happened.

The stern man, Colonel Jack O'Neill, went deathly pale. His mouth dropped open. And all that came out was one word. "Shit."

It occurred to Daniel Jackson the soldier appeared strangely upset. Looking around, he realized the desert was gone. Before he could ask, his head spun, and it became dark, the suns suddenly vanishing. Dizzy, the archeologist fell back, vaguely hearing his name being called. But his vision leeched away. He was so tired. Closing his eyes, his questions no longer mattered.


	2. Chapter 2

_"Ouch," was Colonel Jack O'Neill's only comment as he gazed down the ravine with a grimace. He felt others joining him, silently looking down at the sheer drop. _

_The yawning gap was dark. The white froth of the river below was barely visible from this height. Mist shrouded its details. Between the puffs of clouds, O'Neill vaguely saw walkways, zigzagging along both sides of the faces of the red cliffs, leading precariously down to the valley below. Jack kicked a stone and mentally counted as the pebble fell until he lost sight of it._

_"A little over two hundred feet, sir," Captain Samantha Carter remarked, who was counting along with him. "Not really high, considering. I mean, we have mountains much higher than that."_

_"In Chulak," Teal'c volunteered, the Jaffa tattoo seeming to gleam under the bright sunlight of the midday sun, "we have canyons even higher than the Mount Everest Daniel Jackson once described."_

_Jack whistled as he eyed the drop again. "This is high enough." _And bad enough_, he added mentally._

_"Why couldn't the UAV crash somewhere…closer?" archeologist Doctor Daniel Jackson complained. He clamped down tightly on his hat as the wind picked up. Peering down again with morbid fascination, his flashlight slipped out of the front pocket of his flak jacket and tumbled down to the valley below._

_The four members of SG-1 gawked at the hardware as it hit the sides with a crunch before spinning down. The light flickered on in the battered device and the team could see its fading light winking at them as it fell until it was gone. They couldn't even hear it crash. Then Teal'c looked up and arched an eyebrow at the young scientist. Daniel flushed. "Whoops."_

_"That…" Jack thumbed towards the space where they last saw the flashlight and growled, "is coming out of your pay packet!" The soldier mock glowered at the young man._

_"Nuts." Daniel made a face, not really taking Jack's threat seriously._

_Sam just laughed. "Sir, that bridge should hold." The astrophysicist pointed towards the plank bridge cutting across the air, linking both sides of the cliffs. The double roped rails swayed seductively in the breeze._

_Jack turned around and eyed the way they'd came, making a face at the crowded clusters of leafy green trees, wishing they could at least see the Stargate from here. The man took odd reassurance from knowing the DHD and the Stargate was where he could see it. Chewing his lower lip thoughtfully, he made a quick comparison between the way back and the bridge leading towards the lost UAV._

_"Why don't we just turn back?" the leader lightly joked, waggling his eyebrows towards the original route._

_"Jack! It took us over a day hiking here with you waving a stick at me for slowing down, and now you want to go back?" Daniel exclaimed. He rolled his eyes as Sam smiled._

_"I was only kidding ab—what the hell did you mean I was waving a stick at you?" The colonel glared at Daniel who returned the look with equal intensity._

_"Daniel, take the rocks out of your shoes. You're lagging behind. Maybe if you put your glasses on, you would see the road better and move faster. Stop looking for rocks and that's artifacts to you, Jack…" The archeologist rattled off the lines, his voice gruff, in a perfect imitation of the colonel's brusque tone._

_Sam burst out laughing. She didn't really mean to. Normally, the captain would be alert to her surroundings, stay focused on the mission at hand, but she was beginning to enjoy what she liked to call the Jack Daniel floorshow which always seemed to occur when the two men were together. The woman looked at Teal'c. The Jaffa was watching the exchange with growing interest, ever thirsty to learn more about Earth culture._

_"You were slowing down!" Jack was saying in an exasperated voice._

_"I was being careful—"_

_"Oh…__**now**__ you try to be careful."_

_"What is that suppose to mean?"_

_"Sir." Carter tried to end it before it got out of hand, but she couldn't quite get rid of her grin completely._

_"Don't enjoy this __**too**__ much, Captain." Jack set his glare on her now._

_Oops. Sam schooled her face to a more neutral one. "Sir, it would save us time to use the bridge rather than those trails. From the locator reading, the UAV crashed somewhere beyond the cliffs opposite us." She waved towards the walkways, used often, worn smooth in some places. The steps were crumbling and even totally gone at some spots._

_The colonel winced. Actually, he didn't like either choice. He didn't like the way the bridge swayed and creaked. It smelled vaguely damp as if it had been constantly drenched under storms. The yellowish ropes were as thick as Jack's wrist but only from where he could see. God knew what the condition of the rope on the other end was, and by the time they found out, the attachments were poor, it would be too late._

_Then again…_

_The diagonal paths clinging to the sides of the carved reddish rocks didn't exactly scream "sanctuary" to him either. The steps barely held any edge any more. They looked worn, smoothed out like marble, as if used far too many times than intended._

_"It's only a three hundred thousand dollar piece of equipment," Jack muttered. Normally, when coming across such obstacles, the colonel had the luxury to scrub the mission. He'd be damned if he was going to risk his team if there was any question! But they wanted to know why the UAV crashed, if someone had made it come down and about the strange carvings and mysterious shadow it filmed during its disastrous flight. _

So, a hunting we will go_, O'Neill grumbled to himself. "Rock and a hard place." He said that out loud, the captain nodding in agreement._

_Teal'c looked around, eyebrow arched at the saying. Daniel sighed, glaring at Jack, muttering about how he should watch what he says and tried to explain to the puzzled Jaffa what Jack __**really**__ meant._

_The team leader could have told him. _

_It meant their choices sucked._

_"Damn it."_

_"The rope bridge looks okay, Jack," Daniel volunteered. _

_The older man gawked at him in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me." Jack tilted his head at his friend. "I would have thought you would have opted for that." He waved at the deteriorating stairs._

_The archeologist swallowed. "Um…well…judging the structures below and the quality of the rope, I would say the bridge is much safer. The Anasazi built very sturdy—"_

_"The who?"_

_Daniel sighed, but he didn't really sound surprised. "The Anasazi? Pueblo Indians? They disappeared without a trace from surrounding regions of New Mexico." _

_Jack grunted, tilting his cap back a bit._

_"Step houses," Carter spoke up, recalling a vague reference. _

_The young man smiled. "Yes and they—"_

_"Daniel."_

_The scientist looked over to Jack, who crossed his arms, grinding his teeth impatiently._

_"What does that got to do with the bridge?" the soldier said in a slow and careful tone._

_Both Daniel and Sam winced. _

_"Well, sir. From what I recall, the Anasazi were very skilled builders. I mean their dwellings were stacked on top of each other and they used ladders or carved out walkways to connect each room."_

_"Yeah, Jack, and archeologists found many strands of rope they must have woven that used corn stalks."_

_"And is that strong?"_

_Daniel nodded, giving the knotted ropes an absent poke before he pushed up his glasses with an index finger. "They never really had them tested out because there weren't any whole structures of rope to use."_

_"It was strange they disappeared like that without a trace."_

_"Not too unusual, Sam. It could have been due to—"_

_"Guys," Jack tried to cut in._

_"You don't suppose Ra might have had anything to do with that, would you?"_

_"I don't know. Teal'c? Would it be beneficial for the Goa'uld to completely uproot entire tribes?"_

_"Kids..."_

_"I would not be surprised, Daniel Jackson. If there are technologies and skills the Goa'ulds wish to harvest, it would be to their advantage."_

_"Guys..." the colonel tried once more._

_"Well, I would think the bridge would be sounder since the material..."_

_"I don't know, Daniel. The bridge has been repeatedly exposed to the elements for a while."_

_"So have the steps down there."_

_"But they would have lasted longer since they were made to be used more frequently, Daniel."_

_"Kids!" A shrill whistle abruptly cut through their conversation._

_Everyone looked at Jack. The colonel placed his hands on his hips and glared at the bunch. Daniel and Sam grinned back sheepishly._

_"Okay," Jack said deliberately. "What have we decided here? Bridge or stairs?"_

_"Bridge."_

_"Stairs." _

_Sam and Daniel answered both at once. The two started and looked at each other._

_Jack sighed, mouthing "why me?" towards the sky. He looked at the two and then at Teal'c, whose only response was to raise his left eyebrow again. The colonel grumbled to himself, wondering if that was supposed to be a Jaffa code or something. Shaking his head, Jack studied the bridge then eyed the stairs once again. Deliberately, he went over to the bridge and gave the rope a shake._

_One wooden plank broke free and tumbled into the crevice below. _

_Jack arched an eyebrow of his own towards his team._

_"Stairs," Daniel and Sam echoed together._

_The colonel shook his head and hid the smile threatening to spread across his face._

Scowling, eyes staring at the fire as if he could extinguish it with a mere thought, O'Neill pressed his lips into a thin line. He massaged his arm, hot stinging the sore reminder of how everything went so wrong.

_Every so often, Daniel stopped in his trek, staring at the narrow openings dotting the face of the cliffs. Second in line, just behind Jack, Daniel blocked the path for Sam and Teal'c with each inquisitive pause._

_"Daniel." Jack heard the boots cease behind him._

_"No…wait…" Daniel leaned closer at the man-sized opening. He stuck his head into the gap, heels of his hands pressing down on the edge, lifting him up precariously on his toes. Jack swore and grabbed him by the belt loops to prevent him from falling back and stumbling off the stairs to the water below. "There's writing on the walls, and I think these spaces are deeper than we thought. And there's something in there. I think…oh my God…they look like bones, Jack. I think I see a femur over there. Looks human although the markings on the surface look too smooth to be made by—"_

_"Daniel, we have a UAV to track…we'll...will you stand back on the stairs, for crying out loud?" The colonel shot him a glare. "Once we retrieve it, we'll come back and take a look. Okay?"_

_Sighing, the archeologist nodded._

_Muttering to himself, Jack re-shouldered his backpack. He continued down the steps and glanced at the crumbling edges, wondering if maybe they should have chanced climbing down the rock face instead. _

_"Daniel Jackson, I can feel a breeze from this opening," Teal'c called out. _

_The young man perked up. "Really?" He stopped and turned around eagerly. "Which one?" He didn't wait for an answer and moved to the closest hole. His voice echoed as he went inside. "Maybe all of these caves were connected. I can sort of feel a breeze coming from here as well. My God, these walls are perfectly smooth, Jack! They were definitely sanded down and...look at this—"_

_Jack glanced at Carter, exasperated. Her only response was to shrug._

_"Helloooo?" Daniel hooted out into the cave. _

_Hello?_

_Hello?_

_Hello?_

_Jack started as he heard Daniel's voice calling out in a dozen other caves, each one different in tone, echoing all the way down the valley. _

_"Did you hear that?" Daniel stuck his head out so suddenly from the cave opening, Jack jumped back. "These dwellings were all definitely connected, yet they look decorated in individualistic styles."_

_"Daniel!" Jack pointed to the stairs with an angry jerk of a finger towards the ground. "Down."_

_Under Jack's wary eye, the archeologist gingerly stepped off the opening onto the stairs. Pausing, Daniel reached back in and pulled out something long from the cave. "Look at this. These bones were literally scattered all over the floor, but the wall paintings clearly show the residents were an agricultural..."_

_"Daniel, we don't have time for this right now," Jack started._

_"But don't you think it's strange we didn't see any remains of crops lying around? They grew their own food. They colonized here. Where are the fields? The systems of irrigation?"_

_"Maybe they called for take out," the colonel quipped. Daniel rolled his eyes and tossed the item he held at Jack. The leader caught it and made a face when he saw what it was._

_A human bone._

_"Thanks, Daniel. But it isn't my birthday yet and I would much rather have those season tickets..."_

_"That's a human bone!" Carter exclaimed, leaning over to see better. Teal'c said nothing but the Jaffa eyed their surroundings with a frown._

_"These were all over the place. Something happened to these people before they could truly settle down here. And these bones were smoothed out, a few puncture marks that exposed the marrow." Daniel surveyed the cave next to the one he saw. "I remember seeing some different paintings on that wall. Maybe they'll explain why..." He wove around Jack to see._

_"Daniel," Jack groused. He spun on his heels and tapped the other man on the shoulder. "I told you. We will look at it lat—"_

_He never got to finish._

_A roar shrieking out of one of the caves caused everyone to look up sharply. Jack jerked up his rifle when a large dark mass, the size of a huge grizzly, leaped from one of the dwellings above and landed behind Teal'c with impossible precision and grace._

_Massive claws._

_That was all Jack saw before he heard Teal'c shout out a warning as it waved huge paws. Carter lurched back as the Jaffa crashed into her. Daniel yelped as he got knocked into a wall next to him._

_The steps disintegrated._

_The team shouted unanimously as stairs vanished underneath them. Falling, Jack felt the next level of walkways slam into him, and he gasped, all his air whooshing out. He felt rather than saw Daniel land on him before the young man stumbled away as Teal'c and Carter dropped inches away from his feet. The Jaffa grabbed the captain before she rolled off the edge._

_Staggering to his feet, Jack barked out a warning as he saw the bear like beast that fell with them begin to stir with a growl._

_"Get into one of those holes. Now!" Jack cursed when he realized his rifle was dangling around his ankles. He reached down and pulled it up._

_"Sir!"_

_"Jack!"_

_He had one second to look down, to see the steps beginning to crumble under his feet. He whipped his head up._

_"They're not holding! Hurry! Move it! Get into one of those—" With an outthrust hand, he shoved Daniel into the nearest opening._

_The creature screamed as it came fully to its senses, standing and towering over Teal'c as the Jaffa rushed in front of his teammates._

_Staff weapon blast. _

_The creature howled._

_A paw the size of Jack's head slashed out and Teal'c was suddenly gone. An empty space where the Jaffa once stood._

_"Teal'c!" Daniel shouted, his eyes wide. He jumped out of the shelter and was back on the steps. Daniel tried to see where Teal'c had fallen._

_Carter quickly turned. "Daniel! Get back!" _

_Suddenly Carter was gone._

_"Captain!" Jack fired a shot at the beast then dropped to his knees to try and grab the flailing hands. Nothing. Too late._

_"Jack! Look out!"_

_Jack half twisted and saw the sky disappear._

_Something hit him on the chest. With a grunt, Jack crashed onto the steps, his torso half hanging out of the walkways._

_"Jack!"_

_Foul stench of blood and rotting meat assaulted Jack's senses. He saw eyes…so black…they might have been the night sky itself. _

_Teeth. Damn, they were sharp looking, jaws that took up the long snout, snapping to rip his throat out. He reached out and grabbed it by the jaw, grinding his teeth as he felt the mouth resisting his attempts to pry it open, preventing it from taking a taste of his flesh. Saliva dribbled, slobbering over his gloves, slicking them, making him lose his grip._

_He heard a shot._

_Daniel._

_"Get off him!"_

_Daniel was on the steps with him. With the beast._

_"Get…back…" Jack managed as the animal howled, its outrage sounding a cross between an eagle and a wolf. _

_Another shot. _

_It penetrated the animal at the thinnest part of its furry shoulder, went right through, and burned a line on Jack's forearm. The colonel gave an outraged yelp. "Damn it, Jackson! What the__** hell**__ are you doing? Watch where you aim that thing!"_

_"God, I'm sor—"_

_The creature shrieked with pain, hunger now overridden with agony. Anger rippling its muscles, it tensed, spinning around to a new prey._

_"Shit! Daniel!"_

_The young man slammed into the wall, his glasses tumbling from his face. Without a sound, Daniel slid down to the steps. The animal growled deep in its throat and approached the dazed scientist. Jack snarled, his chest exploding with fury. He jumped back to his feet, grabbed his weapon, and swung hard._

_"You forgot someone you son of a bitch!"_

_Contact._

_A loud crack told Jack the skull was definitely broken. The animal lurched, staggering in a stupor until he shot it again._

_It screamed._

_Another shot._

_It lunged forward, and he spun around, ready to grab Daniel and try for one of the caves, but before he could step away, the animal grabbed onto his backpack with its flailing claws, the fabric tearing._

_The colonel stumbled over the edge without a sound._

_"No!" Daniel came into view, clinging to the edge, his hands grabbing Jack's wrist. His wide eyes were glued to Jack's face, blood and sweat painting a frightful mask on the young man's features._

_The creature twisted, its bloody snout snapping at Jack's pack, claws clinging to the colonel and unable to rake them over his back. Furious it couldn't bite down on flesh, the animal howled. Jack cursed, kicking at the beast, trying to get it to let go. He couldn't even reach for his straps to release the damn pack. The monster clung on stubbornly. He froze when he realized it was dragging him off the steps._

_And Daniel, too._

_"Daniel! Let go of my hand!"_

_The young man had his eyes clenched shut as he tried to pull him up._

_"Let go! I'm pulling you down with me!" _

_Too late._

_Jack remembered hearing the beast scream, oddly human in sound as he, Daniel, and the monster fell to the river below._

"Sir?"

Jack blinked and his surroundings cleared, the visions of rocks zipping past him and fast rushing water were gone. He now saw Carter, her hair in damp clumps, wet jacket zipped up for maximum warmth, looking at him with mild concern, and he didn't blame her. He would freak too if his team leader started staring off into space. Jack suppressed a shiver of his own, his jacket still wet. He zipped it up higher.

"Sir…he's waking up again."

That got his attention.

O'Neill rose to his feet, one hand out to brace against a tree when the world tilted. He shook his head though when he saw Teal'c getting up and Carter hobbling forward to help. Deliberately, the colonel pulled away from the rough surface of the tree's support and stood straighter.

"I'm fine…" Jack grated out. "The stuff dried out yet?"

"Almost. I got Daniel wrapped in one of the drier sleeping bags first."

She nodded towards the wet backpacks Teal'c was able to salvage, fishing them out of the river after they had found Daniel.

Daniel.

The colonel still felt a chill coursing up his arms.

_His arms seemed to float weightlessly before him. It was then he realized he was face down in the water._

_Jerking his head up, Jack O'Neill sputtered, hacking out icy water from his mouth. Lurching, feeling like a sea monster from those midnight movies he watched when sleep was elusive, he stumbled out of the shallow water, thankful the current had carried him closer to the bank._

_"Carter! Teal'c!" Jack turned his head frantically, scanning the river as he wiped water out of his eyes. He could barely make out the tall woods bordering the stream bank, the red cliffs a far distance away. But he didn't see anyone human. He yanked his backpack off, tossing the heavy, cumbersome thing to the ground._

_Heart pounding so loud, Jack could have sworn it was right over his ear, he staggered back to the river, cupping his mouth with his hands._

_"Daniel!"_

_Where are they? Where the hell are they? Jack didn't see or hear anything. A realization materialized and the soldier staggered back._

_God, don't tell me they didn't fall in the river. Please don't tell me they fell straight to the banks. _

_Jack swallowed, slamming that morbid thought away. It was a possibility he would not allow to resurface again. He took a deep breath and cupped his hands to shout again._

_"O'Neill!"_

_Spinning around, Jack felt the ground shift, but he stood upright nevertheless, straining to find the speaker._

_There._

_Teal'c was helping Carter, who was sporting an obvious limp. The two carried twin looks of barely controlled panic as they all counted silently among themselves._

_There was still one missing._

_"Sir!" Carter's voice was high despite how tired she must have been. Her eyes wide with shock, she pointed to something behind him. Jack craned his neck, following the direction._

_Oh God._

_Jack didn't even realize he was hip deep in water until his hands touched the still form floating half submerged in the deeper end of the calm river. He could hear Teal'c splashing behind him, but he didn't say anything as he pulled at the body._

_It groaned._

_Jack nearly dropped to his knees out of sheer relief. Instead, he clamped down on the elation and just murmured reassuring words to Daniel when he saw dazed blue eyes flutter open then shut._

_At that point, Jack didn't care if Daniel weighed a ton as he and Teal'c struggled to carry the wet bundle out of the river. Everyone was here. Everyone was fine._

But then…Daniel had called him **Colonel O'Neill**

Carter was still going, pointing out the area she set up. "We've only got a few more hours of daylight left, sir. I figured we could stay by the river and follow it back in the morning."

Jack nodded as he staggered over to the small campfire, a huddled form curled in a fetal position a few feet away. He winced at the sight of the bloody bandage, long strands of sandy hair sticking out from the tight binding, now dry after their harrowing drop into the river.

Mentally chiding himself for drifting before, Jack crouched down to the spot and studied him carefully. Daniel's disjointed voice came back to him and while he couldn't remember the words very clearly, there were two he did recall. Two words that were whispered but never sounded louder in his ears before until now.

Colonel O'Neill.

_Damn if I ever thought I would hear him call me that again._

Frowning, Jack placed his hand squarely on his friend's shoulder, feeling the slight fever on bare skin. It occurred to him how young Daniel appeared. The archeologist looked like he collapsed within himself, huddling to preserve heat, white face pressed against the fabric. Jack eyed the laid out shirts by the fire, wishing they'd hurry up and dry. He tucked in the thin sleeping bag around Daniel's bare shoulders and brushed back a stray lock of hair.

At the touch, Daniel scrunched up his face, eyes still shut. With a mumble, he moved his head in inquiry and winced as it scraped along the barely padded ground.

"Careful." Jack soothed as he slipped one hand underneath Daniel's back and helped him sit up, pulling the nylon material more securely around the shoulders. Glazed blue eyes opened and looked at his face before drifting downwards at his lap questioningly.

"Wha…" Daniel appeared to have problems speaking. One hand snaked out of the covers and went up to cradle his head. He grimaced. Sam reached over and gently pulled his hand down.

"Don't touch that. It's still bleeding a bit, Daniel."

The young man started and turned his head, his eyes wide. Sam stared back and cleared her throat, but Jack cut in before she could ask.

"Daniel." Now it was Jack's turn to be stared at. The colonel resisted an urge to snap at Daniel to quit it, but it was unnerving. It also made that uneasy feeling inside his chest grow heavier and heavier with each second of silence from Daniel.

"How do you feel?" Jack winced inwardly. It looked pretty obvious.

"L-lousy…" Daniel's head lagged forward, and it looked like he was falling asleep sitting up, but Jack shifted a bit closer, letting his left arm support him upright. The young man stiffened at the touch and shuffled nervously away.

"Daniel," Sam whispered, her hand on his arm. "What's wrong?" She couldn't understand the look Jack was giving her.

"Where's…" The young man dropped his head into his hands, lines of pain etched in the corners of his eyes. Jack gripped his shoulder tightly, trying to get his attention.

"Where's everyone?" Daniel didn't see the startled look the three gave each other. He glanced up; the dark smudges under his eyes evident with the sun over him like a spotlight.

Jack asked quietly, giving the others a look to back off. "Everyone?"

"Kawalsky…" Daniel's eyes fluttered shut then opened as he struggled to stay awake.

"Daniel." The colonel tapped him on the cheek. "Stay with us here." He grimly noted the young man was looking at him funny, but he squelched down the feeling, trying to stay focused on the man in front of him. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"Wha?"

Jack shook him a little, his voice impatient. "The last thing you remembered. Dan—Jackson!"

The man visibly sat up straighter. Jack felt bile rise in his throat.

_God, was my voice that harsh back then?_

"I…um…we were leaving…with…Kaw—_"_ Daniel looked around confused. When his eyes landed on Sam and Teal'c again, his brow furrowed. "Where…" He blinked, glancing over to Jack again.

"Where's Brown and Kawalsky? I thought they were coming with us, Colonel."

"Sir?" Sam's voice was soft, but Jack didn't look like he heard her. The older man stared at Daniel looking like he was at a loss for words.

Daniel's eyes seemed to glaze over as he bit his lower lip. "I still don't know the seventh symbol yet either…I don't see how…" Abruptly, he slouched over. The others leaned forward alarmed.

"My…my head." Daniel's hand went over the side of his skull. He hissed when his fingers brushed against one particularly sore spot. Swaying, he started to fall sideways when Jack caught him. Daniel stiffened on contact and he wiggled back, mumbling an apology. O'Neill's face turned to stone and his hands dropped.

"Daniel…" Jack's voice brought the young man's head up. "We're not on Abydos."

Slightly open mouth, Daniel could only gape.

"Sir?" Sam didn't follow. She watched with growing concern as Jack's face seemed to get tighter and tighter. She hadn't seen him look this way since they had returned from Nem's planet.

She hadn't seen him look this way since the time he thought Daniel died.

"N-not on Abydos…" Daniel repeated numbly.

"No," the older man said in a dull voice. "Daniel…" He paused when he saw the scientist looked at him startled. "We're at the planet designated P5K-219."

"P5—what kind…of name is that?" the young man said faintly. His head bobbed slightly as he struggled to stay awake. "Um…does that mean we—we got out of Abydos?"

"Yeah." Jack's face was unreadable. "We got out of there…almost two years ago, Daniel."

"Two yea—" The archeologist swallowed. He smiled wanly. "I guess…" The sunlight was disappearing again. "I guess that means…" It was so cold all of a sudden. "That…uh…I found the seventh…symbol then, Colonel."

O'Neill's smile was forced. "Yeah…you could say that…"

"Good…I was afraid…I was never going to…get paid…" With that, Daniel slumped forward, Jack catching him neatly in his arms as he fainted dead away.


	3. Chapter 3

_"Come on, Jackson," O'Neill said curtly._

_Daniel stared at the colonel's stiff back, wondering once again why they were even bothering. He opened his mouth but clamped it shut again, remembering how the soldier just waved off his protest that he didn't know the seventh symbol. The Stargate wasn't going to work._

_"Jackson."_

_Wincing, the archeologist knew he was not actually on O'Neill's list of priorities and the man acted as if he could stay lost in the desert for all he cared. Lagging behind would only allow the soldier the temptation. _

_He quickened his pace, boots barely making any progress in the shifting sand dunes, trying to catch up with Kawalsky and Brown. Jackson turned his head to say goodbye to the sole person standing at the large gates of Nagada. _

_And nearly stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her._

_The suns at their highest point, they cast long shadows from the walls, creating a large spot of shade. Hidden in its cool darkness, she stood, covered with whimsy lavender veils over her dark hair._

_Sha're._

_She had pointed to herself and said her name was Sha're._

_It was…at least to him…the most beautiful name he had ever heard._

_Despite no sunlight shining down into that dark alcove, she seemed to glow with her own aura, veils looking like wisps of clouds surrounding her. Dark eyes stared back at him as he turned, no smile gracing her exotic face, but Daniel somehow knew it wasn't because she wasn't going to miss him._

_She was sad to see him go._

_If Daniel had such a face looking at him every time he turned around to say goodbye…maybe his life wouldn't have been so…easy to throw away._

_If he had someone who would look at him like that when he left, maybe he wouldn't have been so willing to show up at Cheyenne Mountain to find Katherine Langford. Maybe he wouldn't have been so eager to claim he could decipher the seven symbols from the other side._

_Then he wouldn't have been stuck with a team who threw his books down the dunes and a man who would soon rip his head off his shoulders rather than crack a smile._

_If only he didn't have to go._

_If only…_

_But life was never fair. He knew that in the beginning in a museum in New York oh so long ago. He was perhaps destined to follow behind unsympathetic backs, only getting to look behind his shoulders at things that would never be his._

_So he memorized everything about her. Everything his eyes could see in the darkness. Then he buried it, in a hidden corner of his heart, knowing full well that it would be the first and last time he would see such a look for him again._

_And then…he left._

There was a hand on his forehead, a soft voice telling him to squeeze both hands into fists. Daniel mumbled, wishing whoever it was would go away, let him sleep, let him bask in the warmth of the memory of her standing there. But the voice was insistent, and when he was propped up again, he moaned.

"Come on, Danny…work with us here…"

_Danny?_

_Dad?_

"He's taking too long to wake up, sir."

_No…not Dad._

"I know. I know. Teal'c, hand me that washcloth, will ya?" Something soft brushed against his face, cool and refreshing. He moaned softly when it was pulled away from him. "Are those shirts dried yet?"

"Here, O'Neill."

He felt his arms being lifted and he cried out.

"Sorry," one of them murmured but kept his arms up.

Bruises that hadn't made their presence known before now shrieked as muscles pulled stiff along his back and shoulders. Daniel clenched his eyes shut even tighter as he felt something being pulled over his head.

A shirt.

The young man opened his eyes in surprise and saw the woman looking at him worriedly. He offered a wan smile and she returned it with one of her own.

"Daniel," she was saying, "I need you to squeeze my hands real tight. Okay?"

"W-why?" He managed as he felt something warm wrap around his shoulders.

"Just do it," a voice said sternly in his ear.

Jumping, he nearly fell back down to the ground at the voice that was so close, but hands gripped his shoulders tightly, keeping him upright. He tilted his head, glancing behind him and saw the colonel supporting him, hands bracing his shoulders.

"Daniel…" The man's voice was strained. "Just do as she says. Come on…both hands."

Chewing on his lower lip, dropping all questions, Daniel squeezed the smaller hands in his, hesitating from holding on too tightly.

"All your strength, Daniel." O'Neill sounded annoyed.

He tried again.

The woman smiled, this time out of relief, and she nodded towards O'Neill. Daniel could hear the soldier grunting in response.

"Looks good, sir…even grips." The woman felt the bandages and sighed in relief. "The bleeding seems to have stopped, too. It may just be only a concussion." She looked at Daniel and explained, "We're just trying to assess the injury to your head."

"M-my head…oh…" Daniel sagged a bit. "The cliff…right?"

"Yeah." She looked woefully at him. "Do you remember anything more?"

"R-remember?" Daniel blinked at her.

"About us." The voice was soft. She studied him, her eyes brimming with hope. She slipped her hands out of his and squeezed his knee.

Daniel felt horrible, but he couldn't lie.

"N-no…sorry…" He winced as he tried to read the jacket she wore. "C-captain?" A soldier. She was a soldier like O'Neill. Daniel moved his knee a bit, slipping it away from her grip.

Her eyes cast down and she swallowed.

"Sam…well…Samantha Carter…"

"Carter," Daniel repeated. He felt rather than heard O'Neill suck in his breath, and he wondered what he did wrong.

"No…" Her voice was low, disappointed. "Sam…you call me Sam, Daniel."

"Oh. S-sorry." Daniel felt so tired. His eyes started to close when he felt a tapping on his cheek. Grumbling, he tried to move his head away from it.

"Forget it, Daniel. I need you awake here."

Something was tilted towards his lips and he frowned. Why was everyone so insistent on him doing things he just couldn't do right now? He grudgingly opened his mouth and swallowed the warm liquid. A little too quickly, he coughed and sputtered, hunching over as the water came back up.

A hand rubbed his back and he vaguely heard voices again.

"Maybe we should start heading back now, sir." The woman, no, Samantha Carter was discussing it with O'Neill.

"It's already getting dark. I don't want him stumbling around at night with a concussion and busted ribs."

_Yes, I don't either._ Daniel wiped his mouth with the back of his right hand and peered blearily up at them. The two dropped their voices, talking it over. He tried to speak, to let them know he didn't want to leave yet, that he felt too tired to even make an effort, but he saw the grim look on O'Neill's face and decided against it. He didn't want to piss the colonel off more. The guy was mad enough as it was for lying about being able to find the seventh sym—

No. He **did** find the seventh symbol. That's why they weren't on Abydos anymore. That's why he was here, and she…Sha're…was over there.

A dull ache in his chest throbbed when he thought about it. He knew when he walked away back then, that he was leaving, but to his surprise, it still hurt to find out that he **really** did leave.

_I wonder what she's doing right now? Does she even remember me? _

"Daniel Jackson."

A dark shadow loomed over him, and he looked up, startled. A dark face came into view, eyes as black as the night, a face that held mild concern. It surprised him to realize the emotion was for him.

Daniel tried to sit up and nearly jumped when he felt the man slid a hand against his back and help him. Shifting, he found himself propped against a tree. Daniel mumbled his thanks and eyed Carter and O'Neill warily as they looked back at him. The attention was unnerving. It wasn't like standing in a lecture hall. He felt like he was pinned under a glass plate under the scrutinizing eye of a microscope.

"You truly do not remember us, Daniel Jackson?" The large man asked in a slightly accented voice Daniel couldn't place.

"Um, no…just the…ah…Colonel over there…" Daniel wondered why O'Neill's face darkened, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"I am Teal'c, Daniel Jackson."

The young scientist wondered briefly what was the deal with him saying full his name. He tilted his head towards the man.

"T-Teal'c?"

The dark man nodded, bowing his head just a bit, looking oddly like a priest paying homage to a holy statue.

"Um…just…Teal'c?"

"Yes." Teal'c returned his gaze at him. Daniel fidgeted uncomfortably. It was unnerving.

"Uh, okay…so…you're um Teal'c. And that's Car—sorry—Sam and Colonel O'Neill." Daniel took a deep breath. "And you're telling me it's been two years since Abydos?"

"Yeah," the colonel muttered from over the campfire.

Daniel rubbed his eyes wearily. "Okay…two years…I guess…it could have been worse. I mean…some forget entire lives," he mumbled. He eyed the uniforms folded on the ground and then the black T-shirts everyone including him seemed to be wearing.

"So I take it after that mission, I stuck around, huh?"

Something strange flickered across the team leader's face. "You could say that…although…you didn't join us…immediately."

Daniel laughed awkwardly. "I guess the lure of a steady paycheck did it for me, huh?"

The three were silent. Daniel dropped his eyes. This was not going well. His head was pounding again. Sighing, he lowered his forehead to his drawn up knees.

A hand touched his shoulder, and he shrugged it away.

"Daniel, look up."

"Tired," the archeologist muttered. "Just let me sleep for a while…"

"In a second," the gruff voice promised. "I need to see how much you do remember."

"Can it wait?" Daniel asked wearily. "I mean I don't see why—oh." He looked up as he realized.

"Did you need me um to decipher the seventh symbol again? To get back home?" Worry flashed in his eyes. "I don't recall any of the symbols. Was there—"

O'Neill shook his head. "No, it's alright. You got them written down before. Teal'c found your pack and salvaged most of your notes. We can use them to dial up and get home."

"Oh." Daniel's voice was muffled, but it didn't succeed in hiding the dull tone. "So you don't really need me to remember yet." He lifted his head, eyes glazed with pain and confusion.

It felt to Jack like being in some dark corridor all over again.

_"Go…" Daniel's eyes were glazed over with pain, yet Jack felt pinned under the desperate stare. "Just go…I'll stay and w-watch your back." Weak bloodied hands brushed his away._

_This wasn't supposed to happen like this. He did not leave people behind._

_No one._

_He felt the body underneath him move, shift restlessly and Jack looked at him._

_So many things needed saying. So many things he realized he should say thank you for. _

_But nothing came to mind._

_Nothing._

_The colonel swallowed, mildly surprised this would actually hurt so much. He couldn't dwell. There was too much at stake. Just too much to grieve right now. Or even think logically all this wouldn't matter later because they going to die on that other ship. Four lives to billions. There were no allowances for grief or regret. _

_What can one say when everything decent is about to end?_

_Jack just cupped Daniel's cheek. Morbidly, he knew it would chill in death, but he couldn't stop feeling like this was a mistake._

_Daniel didn't smile. He didn't crack jokes. He didn't even try to say anything to make Jack feel any better about this. He just…nodded._

_Sometimes, friends don't need to say anything at all._

_So Jack stood, quiet, solemn, his heart screaming as loud as the day Charlie died…_

"So, it's not really important I remember right now," Daniel murmured low, but Jack heard him.

_Important to me. Does that count?_

Jack looked back at his team who sat watching Daniel. He gritted his teeth as he felt the other man move away from his hand.

"Do we…do we have to leave now, colonel?" Daniel looked up. He started to rise when Jack clamped his hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

"No…you look like you could use the rest." Jack wondered why Daniel looked so surprised. "You take it easy. We'll start in the morning. We'll head back then. Okay?"

"H-head back?" Daniel blinked sleepily at him. "Where?"

"The Stargate," Sam said patiently. She pointed to the cliffs in the far distance. The young man squinted at the direction she indicated. "It's up there."

"…Oh." The archeologist turned towards Carter and Teal'c. "Thanks. Sorry about this."

Sam spoke, trying to keep her voice light. "No problem, Daniel. You get some rest. We'll head out when you wake up."

Daniel nodded tiredly, sliding down the tree to lie on his side. He shook his head when Jack tried to help and just tugged the sleeping bag covering him closer to his chin. Watching with slit eyes, Daniel saw them hanging around him awkwardly, the whispering beginning again. He flushed, wondering what the fuss was about.

_They're probably wondering how the hell they were going to get back home…or the Stargate…whatever with me lagging behind._

It left a bitter taste in his mouth, thinking about how he would have to follow behind yet more stiff postures, but this time with no one standing in a distance looking at his departure.

Closing his eyes, Daniel mentally chided himself for the lump in his throat. He'd obviously survived okay two years without needing it. He could do it again. He wasn't some eight year old kid watching adults shuffle him back and forth because they didn't want to deal with him.

Daniel Jackson could take care of himself.


	4. Chapter 4

_"He's full of shit." O'Neill turned around, knowing full well Jackson and General West heard him loud and clear, his disgust over naïve enthusiasm and you know what?_

_He didn't care._

Jack blinked, that lump in his throat again. He could almost feel the control for the nuclear device, square and cool in his palm. The controls for a nuke he brought over to Abydos with every intention of blowing it up, of following orders. No one knew about it. He planned they would go home before it happened, and if he got caught in the blast.

Well, it was a small price to pay to join his son.

_Or so I thought_.

Until some foolish young man came out of nowhere and gave his life to a stranger who openly showed him no grace. Gave a life to one who was more than willing to lose his.

Jack could still taste the smoke from charred flesh; hear Daniel screaming for them to stop. He heard it in his sleep over and over again in an empty house when he first came home from that mission. It was what got him functioning every morning.

He was alive because of that one foolish act.

And now...Daniel didn't remember any of it.

"Sir?" Carter hobbled over and handed him an MRE bar and a battered tin cup.

"Thanks," Jack mumbled, not noticing the other two looking at each other, his eyes on a huddled form against the tree, away from them, from the fire.

"Sir?"

Jack lifted his head, realizing she was looking very concerned.

"What is it, Carter?"

"Uh…about Daniel—"

"He's going to be okay." _He'd better._

"He did not recognize us." Teal'c announced as he stood there, ever vigilant, but his eyes wandered back to their young friend.

_Oh nooo...he recognized me, unfortunately. _

"He knew you, sir. I guess from the—"

"First mission," the colonel said curtly, taking a sip of water from the cup. "Sounds like he remembered only right before we met Ra."

Sam hunched down, wincing as she gingerly folded her leg in, her sore ankle stretched out.

"Watch it, Captain."

She shrugged sheepishly. "It'll loosen up, sir."

Jack just grunted and took a bite from the MRE. Chewing it nosily, Jack tried to ignore the stares from the others. Finally, though, he had to say something.

"What?" he nearly grated out, but instead, he tore another bite off the bar, not tasting it at all.

"Uh—" Sam hedged as if unsure what to say.

"Daniel Jackson did not seem the same," Teal'c said, ever blunt and frank.

Jack stopped chewing.

"I think," Carter darted a look over to the Jaffa, "what he meant was Daniel…I mean…he looked like—"

_You mean he looked like he would rather jump down another cliff than hang around me._ Jack scowled, shutting Carter up.

"Things were different then." Jack took another bite. The taste was just not appealing, his stomach probably churning because of the bland nourishment. He threw the food down with a grunt of disgust. "Damn MREs."

"Daniel Jackson appears uneasy with you." Again, Teal'c never minced words.

Sam sucked in her breath, wondering if maybe she should have kept her mouth shut. O'Neill tensed, his fists hidden in his lap which was just as well.

"Sir, we were just wonder—"

"Look, we weren't the best of buddies then, okay?" Jack finally snapped out, his voice harsh. His jaw clenched, as his eyes darted back to the huddled form. "We need to wake him in a bit."

Subject closed.

That hung unspoken but heavy in the night air as the colonel's shoulders and back stiffened like boards. He rested his elbows on his knees, leaning forward, staring intently at the direction where Daniel was, but Sam suspected he didn't see the archeologist at all.

"I'll take first watch."

"I could, sir," Sam jumped in.

"You need your rest as well, Captain," Jack said stiffly. He gave her a frown before sitting up, indicating his attention. "Need you a hundred percent here. We have a long day ahead of us later."

"But—"

Jack looked over to her again, black coals silencing any more protest.

Mumbling just a "yes sir", Sam limped to her sleeping bag. As she past Daniel's spot, she knelt and pulled the covers higher to cover him more. When she straightened, she was startled to find Jack's eyes burning a hole through her. Ducking her head, not sure what to make of it, she hurried to her spot and zipped up her sleeping bag around her.


	5. Chapter 5

_"I knew I'd would like you." Samantha Carter grinned suddenly, stopping Daniel mid-sentence._

_Baffled, he sputtered. "You…you mean I was right?"_

_"According to the expanding universe model, all bodies in the universe are constantly moving farther apart."_

_Daniel thought it over, words coming out of his mouth before he could even piece the theory together first. "So in the thousands of years since the Stargate was built—"_

_"All the coordinates could have changed."_

_The young man nodded until he realized something. "But why does it still work between Abydos and Earth?"_

_It didn't seem to faze the female soldier that Daniel threw in a new variable in her theory as she prattled on. Daniel nodded, jumped in with his own ideas and found himself oddly…elated no one was laughing him off stage; no one was refuting his ideas. He wasn't standing here trying to convince anyone._

_He was right about the Stargate._

_He was right about the pyramids._

_And while he would never be able to gain acknowledgment for his theories, Daniel Jackson felt redeemed in front of this fellow scientist. _

_"Any civilization advanced enough to build this gate network would be able to compensate for fifty thousand years of stellar drift."_

_Daniel nodded._

_Carter paused as if to let the idea fully seep in. _

_"The aliens could have come from…anywhere."_

_A chill ran down Daniel's spine. _

_That meant another Ra could be out there._

_Oh God…_

Daniel jerked awake as he felt a hand shaking him.

"Daniel Jackson."

Opening his eyes, Daniel yawned slightly.

"Is it…time to go…um…Teal'c, wasn't it?"

The dark man nodded. "Yes, Daniel Jackson. It is Teal'c. But no, it is not time to go yet. I was to wake you and make sure you are well."

"Oh." Daniel shakily sat up. That made sense. They've been waking him every so often. _I suppose with a concussion, they would have to make sure I don't get any worse although I don't know how it can at this point._

"Here." The man handed Daniel a cup of water.

Realizing how thirsty he was, Daniel greedily drained the contents, coughing as he drank too fast. He flushed, realizing how it must look. The young man sighed, meekly handing the cup back to Teal'c.

"Thank you."

The man tilted his head at Daniel. "You are quite welcome, Daniel Jackson."

Staring at Teal'c's back as the man turned around to set the pot back on the fire, Daniel cleared his throat.

"Um…c-can I ask you a question?"

"You may." Teal'c bowed his head slightly and shifted so he was face to face with him.

Daniel paused at the sight of his undivided attention. _Does he always do that?_

"Daniel Jackson?" The dark man leaned forward, eyes narrowing when he didn't answer. He was about to reach over to check on him when Daniel smiled.

"Sorry um, I was wondering why…" Daniel ducked his head, his hand went up to massage the back of his neck, wincing as his fingers inadvertently found a sore spot and hastily dropped his hand. _What the hell happened to get me this way?_

"About this…Daniel Jackson thing." The young man waved his hand up in the air helplessly.

"It is your name." Teal'c arched an eyebrow at him. "Is it not?"

_Daniel stood by the infirmary, watching the Chulak warrior as he slipped out of his armor so that the doctor might examine him. The place was a flurry of activity as medics jostle by, nurses and doctors alike snapping off statuses. All these people, in their own strange ethnic costumes, standing around in a daze as soldiers tried to keep them organized._

_Yet that sight didn't tear Daniel's eyes away from the lone alien waiting patiently by the gurney, allowing the medical examination. When done, the petite doctor gave a nod to someone standing behind Daniel. _

_And the figure approached._

_Tall, towering, his presence the very epitaph of power, the warrior walked over to him silently. Daniel swallowed as it occurred to him how fortunate they were he was not their enemy. Rather, an abrupt ally. _

_"Check out okay, Teal'c?" A gruff voice beside him asked._

_"I am well. Is this a rite of passage to be examined by your…doctor?"_

_Daniel cleared his throat. "Um…not exactly. It's more as a precaution."_

_"I understand." Teal'c tilted his head slightly. Why was he looking at him? "I too would be wary of the presence of a Jaffa."_

_"Ah, that's not it." Daniel fidgeted standing there. He slowly pointed to himself. "I'm Daniel. Daniel Jackson."_

_"Greetings Daniel Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said solemnly._

_Oh boy. He flushed. "No…just one Daniel."_

_"My apologies, Daniel Jackson."_

_"Uh, not…never mind." Daniel found himself pinned under the Jaffa's gaze again. "What?"_

_"Daniel—" Someone's voice held a warning tone._

_"In Chulak, you were seeking something. You were not one of the slaves Apophis gained for homage. What did you seek?"_

_A lump formed in his throat as the Jaffa unknowingly reminded him why he was here at all. _

_"Seek? I was there to find S—"_

"Daniel Jackson?"

The young man jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw Teal'c looking at him with thinly disguised concern. Straightening in surprise, he forced himself to smile. It felt like it was splitting his face, with his head cracked open in result.

"Sorry." He said faintly. "Something…sort of came while you said that. Ah…a memory…"

Teal'c relaxed, his hand dropped to his side. He settled closer to the scientist.

"Should I wake O'Neill?"

_Why?_ Daniel wondered and shook his head carefully. He groaned inwardly as the place spun. He wavered, his hand reaching out instinctively for support. Fumbling, his fingers found Teal'c's T-shirt. But to his astonishment, the large man not only didn't move away, he shuffled closer, hand clasping over his arm.

"Daniel Jackson?"

"I'm alright." Daniel replied automatically. "Just…head hurts…a little…"

Teal'c started to rise. "I will get O'Neill."

"No!" Daniel nearly shouted. Why was he so insistent to fetch the colonel every single time? "I don't think he would **really** appreciate you waking him up just because I have a little headache."

"He would want to know," Teal'c pointed out.

_Why?_ Daniel smiled tightly. "No, I doubt that. Um…" He could see the dark man was still hesitant, eyes looking over to the twin sleeping bags a few feet away from the campfire crackling in the center. Running his tongue nervously over his lower lip, Daniel hastily asked the first question on his mind.

"Teal'c? What flashed to me…What is a Jaffa?"

The man turned back to Daniel.

"I mean…I know what that means. Sort of. In ancient Egyptian and the tunnels Sha're and I were in, Jaffa was mentioned frequently as the first shield to the gods, but what does that mean for you?" Daniel pointed to him and shrugged.

Teal'c adjusted until he was face to face with him again. Silently, he pulled up his shirt out of his pants.

Daniel gaped at the x slit on the man's stomach. To his horror, it opened a bit, and he thought he saw something peering out before Teal'c readjusted his shirt over it again.

"Oh God…w-what is that?" Daniel was too shocked to even move.

"A infant Goa'uld larva."

"A wha-what?"

_"It is an infant Goa'uld. The larval form of the Gods." Teal'c stared back unblinkingly despite the horrified sounds around him. Daniel swallowed as he stared at the slimy…thing emerging out of the slits like a snake coming out of a dark cave._

_"I have carried one since I was a child. All Jaffa carry one."_

"Are you well?" The Jaffa looked like he regretted showing it to Daniel.

The young man coughed, eyeing Teal'c warily. "You carry one of the Gods?"

"False gods," Teal'c corrected automatically. Daniel nodded.

"False gods…like…like Ra. Oh my God!" The archeologist lurched forward until Teal'c pressed a hand on his knee, aborting the movement which was just as well. The sky began to do a wild dance, and all Daniel could see was spots. Swallowing again and again, why was his throat so dry? Daniel nodded to show he was alright.

"Ra…that's what Ra carries? In t-that pouch?"

Teal'c tilted his head. "He took the body as a host."

"Oh." Daniel paused, studying him. "So…you're an …alien?"

"That is what I have heard myself been referred as, Daniel Jackson."

"Oh…" Daniel's eyes focused as he thought it over. He looked up and opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Frowning, he crossed his arms, wincing, as it became apparent moving was not to his benefit.

The Jaffa's eyes narrowed with concern as he realized the man before him was at a loss for words.

"Wow."

Teal'c started. Daniel smiled at him shyly.

"An alien. Wow. I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of anything else to say right now." Daniel shook his head, disgusted with himself. "Was I…ah…back then…was I this speechless then?"

The Jaffa didn't laugh as he looked at him solemnly. "Yes."

_"What did you say?" Daniel whispered, standing there with his eyes wide, fixated on Teal'c._

_It sounded like the infirmary had gone still, but Teal'c sensed the activity continuing behind him as he repeated what he'd said._

_"The woman you seek. The woman from Abydos," Teal'c bowed his head slightly. "I was the one who chose her to be Amonet's host."_

_O'Neill stood there, his jaw set. He looked over to the young human who was standing in a state of shock. Teal'c felt a wave of regret similar to the one he felt when he ordered the guards to take the spirited dark haired woman away to show to his lord Apophis._

_"Daniel," O'Neill said in a soft voice. _

_"Did…I…" The young man's eyes glimmered brightly, and Teal'c paused in surprise. He thought he saw a hint of tears. It was unheard of in his world, in his culture, for a warrior to show any weakness. The Jaffa wondered if perhaps they were tears of anger._

_"Daniel." The team leader touched Daniel Jackson's elbow to draw the man's attention. "Hey." The young human looked at the hand on his sleeve numbly._

_Stricken eyes then fell upon him, and Teal'c felt the urge to go down on his knees for some reason, but he didn't. He stood there, waiting for the first blow. It was the honorable thing to do._

_It was the __**least**__ he could do._

_"I'm okay…well…not really…" Daniel's head was turned away a bit as he spoke to O'Neill. "I know he didn't really have a choice. Did you?" He directed the last question to Teal'c._

_Teal'c lowered his eyes as he spoke. "I could not refuse Apophis. He would have killed them all and ordered more brought to him."_

_"Daniel," O'Neill was shaking the young man's arm now. "Hey."_

_"I…no…give me some time here. I-I need to be…alone right now." Daniel's voice cracked at the word "alone". He smiled wanly, but the gesture looked like it pained him. "I know it's not your f-fault…I…sorry…excuse me…" The young man tried to give another smile, but failed so he just left the infirmary._

_As Teal'c watched the departing back, the slumped shoulders as the young man wrapped his arms around himself before turning the corner; he realized this man was truly not going to hold a grudge against him. It made his guilt even more acute. _

_"He'll be okay," O'Neill said as if to console Teal'c although the warrior could not understand why. "Once we find her and Skaara again, he'll be okay."_

_Teal'c nodded, his eyes glued to the spot where Daniel had stood. Silently, he made a vow to the gods. He would find the man's family or die trying._

"Um…Teal'c?"

The Jaffa was chagrined to find himself not hearing what Daniel Jackson had to say. He found it upsetting to see the man look at him with such open fascination. In all the time he had known him, the scholar treated him as an equal, and while he was surprised at some of the things Teal'c done or said, the Jaffa never saw the man view him with such...curiosity.

It was...unsettling to say the least.

"My apologies, Daniel Jackson. I was thinking."

"Oh." Something flickered in Daniel's eyes. He shrugged, made a face. Teal'c knew he must be uncomfortable, and silently debated alerting O'Neill. The colonel always seemed to be able to read Daniel Jackson better than he. Teal'c felt at a loss how to help his friend. To forget something, a time period of so long was unheard of. He still did not understand why Daniel would shy away from O'Neill despite the man being the only one he knew from a lost past.

"How…how did we meet?"

Teal'c surveyed the sky as he remembered. "In Chulak, where I was serving my lord."

"Ra?"

"…No. Apophis."

Surprise fleeted across Daniel's face. "A-Apophis? You mean the god of the underworld Apophis?"

Teal'c nodded, perking up as he thought he heard something. Daniel immediately quieted as if sensing the Jaffa was alert to something. Frowning, the warrior turned his head, scanning the area despite the darkness of night.

Nothing.

He was perhaps mistaken.

"What is it?" Daniel whispered, his eyes huge.

"I thought I heard something approach."

Daniel's gaze drifted over to the two bundles on the ground. "Something?"

"The creature that attacked us before."

Daniel gulped. "C-creature? You mean like…an animal?"

"It forced us to fall down from the cliffs, Daniel Jackson." The dark man eyed Daniel sadly. "Do you not remember?"

"Um…no…but I take it wasn't really a choice we had, huh?"

"It was a rather abrupt decision indeed." Teal'c tilted his head towards Daniel. "One I regret has greatly affected you."

"I'm okay. I'm sure I'll still be able to help out with whatever it is you need me to do." Daniel waved a hand in the air. He stopped.

"What **do **I do here? I mean…you're obviously like some sort of…um…Secret Service for the ancient Egyptian gods, and Colonel O'Neill and Captain Carter, I mean Sam, are military personnel." Daniel folded his hands together, resting them atop of his knees.

"But what did **I** do?"

Teal'c was at a loss for words. Daniel mistook it for something else. He smiled sadly.

"No…I think I know. Decipher the seven symbols so you three can get home. Right?" Daniel shrugged, his hand began picking the seams of the sleeping bag he was in. "Makes sense I suppose. I mean…if this Stargate really does take travelers to other places…there are probably hundreds of cultures out there you guys want to explore. That **is** what you do, right?"

Teal'c silently nodded.

"Good…I don't want to think we're here for some government conspiracy to gain some sort of evil technology." Daniel laughed. The sound contained no humor.

"One thing for sure…I wasn't in it for the papers or anything I suppose."

"Papers?"

"Um…I guess this subject was never brought up." _Why should it? It's not like we tell each other our life stories here on the job, _Daniel thought sourly, disgusted at himself for being upset with the idea this was all just a job. The images of Sha're watching him leave floated over his thoughts.

"I write up theories and…stuff…about the ancient cultures of my planet and…well, papers is what I do to," Daniel's face darkened, "validate my theories. We call it publish or perish."

"Your theories were correct," Teal'c told him. "I have not known you to have ever been wrong before, Daniel Jackson."

"That's…nice." Daniel fidgeted, uncomfortable with the praise. "I really did have nowhere else to go, I guess."

Teal'c tilted his head inquisitively towards him, not understanding. "Go? Go where? Did you not joined the Stargate Project with O'Neill together?"

Daniel flushed. He was about to ask another question when he heard a roar that made the hair on the back of his neck rise.

Abruptly, O'Neill jumped out of his sleeping bag, shaking Carter as he got to his feet. Daniel stared at the military man's back as he realized the reaction was way too quick for a man who was just sleeping.

O'Neill. Colonel O'Neill was awake the whole time.

Daniel flushed again, this time out of anger. What did the man think he was doing? Was he laughing silently as Daniel poured his guts out to Teal'c?

"Carter, you and Daniel get some cover over there!" The colonel whipped up a handgun, arms straight out as he aimed towards a line of trees. Teal'c glanced down to Daniel before grabbing an elongated metal staff to join him.

The woman limped over to Daniel, her eyes darting back to the two other men. Smiling tightly, her eyes focused at the thought of a possible threat, she grabbed him by the arm and hauled him up. Daniel staggered to his feet, blearily looking on as he found them forming a circle in front of him.

Guarding him.

Like some sort of…helpless child.

And Daniel stood up straighter. He took a shaky step, ignoring Carter's admonishments until O'Neill's voice barked sharply out in the night air.

"What the **hell** do you think you're doing?" The colonel didn't turn around, his eyes still checking out the tree line for where the roar came from. "Step back! Keep away from here!"

Daniel jumped at the harsh words and blinked. Even though the man didn't turn around, he could see O'Neill's twisted face before him, red with rage.

_"You keep away from her." A finger jabbed him in the chest._

_Swallowing, he tried to take O'Neill by the arm. "Okay, why don't we—"_

_He never got to finish._

_A fist came right at his face, his glasses suddenly crooked. Caught off-guard, Daniel fell, hands barely up in time to block the next blow._

_God, everything hurt. The fists multiplied before him. A stray kick here and there had him gasping, unable to scream for help, unable to cry out in pain even. Over and over again until he heard shouting, arms coming from nowhere to pull the colonel off. _

_And he lay there until someone remembered and helped him up. He heard a stray inquiry on his well being tossed at him, but he could barely reply as he realized he could taste blood on his lip._

Daniel stared at O'Neill's back.

"Daniel?"

"Captain, get him back! That's an order!" The growling seemed to echo through the forest. The stray chirping that sang in the night was gone.

"Daniel, come on. Let's get back here." Carter tugged at the young man's arm. Daniel turned around and looked at her. She was taken back by the pure look of fear in his eyes.

"Daniel?"

The young man swallowed. He could almost taste the blood on his lips as if it was still there.

A hand grabbed him roughly by the elbow and Daniel jerked free. He whirled around and saw Carter staring at him as if he had gone mad.

"Keep…keep away." He managed, raising his hands to ward her off. Her eyes were glowing. He could almost see her eyes glowing.

_"Open the Stargate!" She pointed her gun towards them. Her eyes—_

Daniel took another step back. Her eyes.

_Oh God, they were glowing. They were—_

"Captain!" Jack's voice cracked like a whip in the night air. Whatever he was going to say next was interrupted by a feral growl that seemed to come from everywhere. The colonel swore harshly, loud enough for everyone to hear.

Especially Daniel.

_"Are you crazy?" O'Neill roared from somewhere in the darkness. The broken light flickered on and off. He could hear the man approaching, boots stepping on shards of glass._

_Hurt. Hurt. Everything hurt. His feet tingled, his arms ached, his eyes burned. There was heat and there was cold. He couldn't stop shaking, like overcharged with energy, yet he could barely lift a finger right now._

_"Are you trying to kill me?" He was coming closer to his hiding place._

_Daniel hugged the corner tighter, praying the shelves wouldn't rattle like every bone in his body is right now. Stay away from me, he pleaded mentally. Just stay away._

_"You're trying to kill me!"_

Daniel felt himself up against a tree now, his breathing coming in short pants.

_Oh God. Oh God._

"Over there!" Teal'c shouted, forcing himself to concentrate to the problem at hand. He could hear the young human behind him wheezing.

_The Jaffa with his long robes, braid down the middle of his back, aimed his staff weapon at him. Daniel stood there, hearing the sirens, hearing the Stargate slowly lock into place. He could barely breathe, watching the man who wore the face of his friend, aiming the staff at him, dark eyes boring down on him with no pity._

_The weapon blossomed open, and Daniel flinched._

_The Stargate engaged behind him._

_Turning around and seeing the sparkles of the event horizon, Daniel knew he had to try. He had to leave._

_Spinning quickly, praying somehow that Teal'c would hesitate, Daniel Jackson ran._

"Daniel?" Carter touched the archeologist on the arm. The man recoiled at the touch.

_He tried to run. Tried to head for the open door so he could leave, but O'Neill grabbed him, tackled him around the waist. He cried out or thought he did when they slammed into the metal shelves, shaking everything off its place. Raining down on him, pelting him like stones, Daniel felt himself being thrown to the floor. He twisted around, trying to break free, but the colonel's face was right in front of him, unrelenting._

_No. No. No. No! Get away! Have to get away!_

_Daniel felt so weak. So helpless. He hated this feeling as hands stronger than his gripped his wrists, pinning him down, barring him from escaping._

_Hurt hurt hurt. O'Neill was making everything hurt. His wrists seem to swell under his grip, his chest burning as it struggled to draw air. Why was he stopping him? O'Neill knew he was in pain, knew he was suffering. He needed to go back. He has to go back. Make the pain go away. Why wasn't he letting him go?_

Jack fired a gunshot at the movement over the bushes a few meters away, and Daniel jumped. He stared at the hard, determined look on the soldier's face.

Then Teal'c's strange weapon snapped open with a hiss. To his shock, it spit out a red sizzling ball of fire, sailing across the forest, exploding trees in its destructive path.

_Oh my God. What was that thing? _Daniel stared at the alien. Teal'c's grim face suddenly familiar.

_"Kill them." A deep voice that sounded odd reverberated in the dank chamber. "Kill them all."_

_Daniel's head snapped up, and he watched two regal looking figures walked away, their backs turned against him. People were screaming, scrambling to get to the back in some slim chance they would be spared the executions. _

_Teal'c stood there._

_Alongside with the rest of the guards. With his weapon. To kill them all._

Daniel stared at the charred remains of the trees. The destruction in front of him was numbing. Smoke still billowed out of the ruined landscape, fire sizzling as it greedily burned through wood.

_Boots clomping up the metal ramp, Daniel heard the hiss of the staff weapon being fired, and he ran faster. _

_When did the Stargate get so far away?_

_Fire, ice, sharp knives attacking his shoulder all at once. A blow so painful, it actually made him stumble into the Stargate, into the wormhole, away from Teal'c._

_As he arrived on the other side, Daniel could smell the charred stench of his fatigues burned to a crisp; his shoulder feeling like it was barely attached. Coughing, everything in his body seemed to flare up. He could barely stand. He could barely see the lit doorway where the mirror was._

_But he was alive. _

_He escaped._

_He…he was going to kill…kill me!_ The young man's mouth dropped open. He didn't hear Carter as she tugged at his sleeve, worried. He jerked away, eyes glued to the back of the two men.

And Daniel knew. He knew.

He shouldn't be here.


	6. Chapter 6

When Jack originally woke, he heard the hushed voices before his brain could even register them. Grudgingly, he shifted in his sleeping bag.

"Um…c-can I ask you a question?"

The older man froze as he heard Teal'c reply. He couldn't hear the answer very well, but caught words like "Jaffa" and "Goa'uld".

Jack's jaw clenched.

_Not exactly walking down memory lane here. He's going to see there's a lot of broken walkways and cracks along the way._

Daniel Jackson called him **O'Neill**.

It made Jack sick to his stomach.

It also made Jack realize he never really knew Daniel that well on the first mission to Abydos. Not that he had bothered to try.

_Not much bonding you can do with a guy in-between running away from self-proclaimed gods, getting shot in the gut with a staff weapon and coming back from the dead._

But Daniel Jackson was not dead. He was just…confused.

_He'll remember soon enough. That fall shook his brain around like a blender. Any minute, he'll remember and drag me back up those goddamn steps to check out those holes-in-the-walls before I can even say "Wait"._

The soldier smiled softly to himself, and he was ready to settle back to sleep when he heard Teal'c's voice rise in worry.

"Daniel Jackson?"

"Just…head hurts…a little…"

Jack stiffened. He wondered if Carter's assessment was right after all. If it was only a concussion. He moved, ready to wiggle out of his sleeping bag when he heard Teal'c again.

"I will get O'Neill."

"No!" Daniel's voice sounded tinged with panic. "I don't think he would **really** appreciate you waking him up just because I have a little headache."

"He would want to know."

"No, I doubt that."

_What the hell?_ Jack stared at the night sky as he absorbed the words. What the hell did Daniel mean by that? Why wouldn't he want to know? He was his friend, for God's sake.

Jack closed his eyes briefly as he recalled. His friend, yes. But not until after he returned back to Abydos, not until Sha're was taken. Not until Jack found out just how much loss this young man had endured all his life. Not until Jack looked up one day and found himself worrying where Daniel was during the mission.

_When did a pain in the ass become best friend?_

_"Jack?"_

_The man started, looking up with red rimmed eyes as he glared at whoever would dare try and invade his sanctuary. To his surprise, he saw Jackson peering back at him, glasses looking huge on his pale face as the scientist gaped at the sight of a slightly tipsy Colonel Jack O'Neill. Somehow, Daniel's shock pissed him off even more._

_"G'way," Jack rasped as his fingers curled around the warming beer. The loud jukebox music blaring in the background didn't help the pounding in his head._

_Daniel pushed up his glasses which irritated Jack even more. _

_"Um…should you even be doing this? I mean—"Daniel swallowed, looking around nervously at the bar. "I mean, you don't want to be drunk on dut—"_

_"Fu' off." Jack shoved him or he thought he did as the young man barely budged. "I said git out of hir! Go h'me!" Luckily, no one else in the place noticed, their own brains too buzzed to pay any attention to the two at the counter. The bartender made only an inquisitive sound before Daniel smiled wanly to show everything was okay._

_"Wha' ta hell are you doin' here?" Jack slurred, his beer bottle empty and rolling away. Daniel yelped and caught it before it fell. "I saith go home!" Jack gave a harder shove, and this time Daniel did fall, rear smacking the dirty floor with a loud thump._

_Drunks around them snickered at the sight. Jack snorted, muttering angrily as he lurched up on his feet and stumbled away._

_"Jack! Where are you going?" Daniel was doggedly on his tail, clutching his own hand protectively as he followed. Jack whirred around, practically snarling._

_"Freakin' civilian! I told you to go home!" Jack shoved him again, his move sending himself staggering backwards, practically falling through the exit. Cold air chilled his sweat drenched back, his shirt clinging to him like a plate of ice that seemed to make his chest burn. He waved a hand, dismissing Daniel and lurched out of the usual hangout for the nearby base into the parking lot away from the other man. He angrily fumbled for his keys._

_"Jack! Why don't I drive?" Daniel snagged the keys out of his clumsy hands._

_Jack spun around and threw a fist right at his chin._

_Barely grazing him, more surprised that Jack struck him, Daniel dropped the keys, landing on the ground with a soft cry._

_"I told you to go h'me!" Jack snarled, grabbing the archeologist by the collar, stooping over him as he shook him. The young man clutched one of his wrists to brace himself as Jack rattled him hard like a rag doll. "Wha the h'll are you followan me around fer?" _

_"I don't have a home."_

_The older man blinked._

_Calm blue eyes, too calm considering the position he was in, Daniel got up, pulling Jack's hands away from him. "I was staying over at your place for the time being, remember? You left the memorial service at SGC before I could catch a ride. I don't have keys…um…to your place." The archeologist shifted from left foot to right. He peered over the top of his eyewear, running his tongue nervously over his lower lip. "I can understand if you want to be alone. How about I drive you home first, and I'll…uh…head back? There's probably still more empty bunks left I could… borrow."_

_Awkwardly, the young man bent down to pick up the keys. As his fingers curled around them, Daniel hissed, dropping the item again and pressed his hand close to his chest._

_That sound pulled Jack out of whatever fog he was in. Head bobbing, Jack tried to focus. "What? Whaz da matter?"_

_"Nothing." Daniel reached down again to grab keys, yelping as Jack latched on to his wrist. "Jack! It's nothing! I—"_

_"What the hell 'appen to you?" O'Neill demanded, alarm making him stand up straighter, his words sharper as he saw the blood crusting the palm, thick and warm, fingers curled inward. When he saw small bits of glass, Jack groaned. The beer bottle. Daniel was holding the beer bottle when he pushed him away._

_"I should have let go the bottle." Daniel shrugged, wincing as he pulled his hand away from Jack's grasp. _

_The colonel stared at the slumped shoulders. He knew he should apologize, but nothing came out. _

_"Come on. Let's get you home first."_

_"Your 'and—"_

_"I'll have the people at the infirmary take a look at it." Daniel hesitantly tugged at Jack's sleeve, keeping away from his personal space. Suddenly Jack felt nauseous. He must have drunk more than he thought._

_"Daniel—"_

_"Jack—"_

_The two men stopped. Jack shrugged one shoulder, nodding to Daniel for him to go first. Daniel coughed, his eyes away as he guided Jack towards the passenger side of the jeep. Rattling with the keys with one hand, Daniel kept his eyes down. Jack sighed, figuring whatever it was Daniel changed his mind about saying it. He got in and fumbled with the seat belt when he heard the archeologist._

_"I'm…sorry about Kawalsky."_

_Jack almost didn't hear the whisper as his seat buckle snapped together. He looked up, squinting as alcohol blurred eyes made Daniel look watery, far away._

_"I know he was a good friend of yours."_

_Jack swallowed, wishing he didn't have that last beer before. It seemed harder to crack that same line he told Teal'c._

_"He was," Jack croaked before he could stop himself._

_Daniel didn't look over at him for which Jack was grateful. He cleared his throat, sense seeping in with awareness as he saw the blood spotting the steering wheel._

_"Sorry about…'efore, Daniel," Jack said slowly, making sure it was clear._

_"Huh?" Daniel blinked in surprise. "Oh? The hand?" He shrugged._

_Jack stared at him as Daniel started the car._

_"Hands heal, Jack." The young man murmured as he drove carefully out of the lot. "I know the other stuff doesn't always heal."_

_It was like looking at a mirror. Jack stared at the perfect reflection of loss and ache. And he knew, he couldn't have Daniel drive back to the base later._

_"I-I got 'andages at 'ome. We better get that 'and looked at."_

_Daniel turned, startled. "You…you sure?"_

_Jack felt a little better as he leaned into the seat. "Yeah…I'm sure."_

The colonel blinked. _Best friend?_ When did Daniel wheedle away at his walls and become more than a comrade at arms? Jack doubted the young man even knew he was doing it. He was just suddenly his friend.

_Well that didn't make any sense_, he thought, frowning to himself. One didn't suddenly become a friend. And their first impression didn't exactly create an instant bond.

Jack turned his head, his angle perfect behind the campfire. He could see Daniel's face, partly covered by the makeshift bandage, studying Teal'c with open curiosity.

It was so like Daniel it made Jack's teeth ache. It was so different from the wary look Daniel was giving him as he made careful conversation with Jack. The young man acted as if he was testing him, poking at the cracks and retreating at the first sound before the walls could bury him. Jack didn't see any of the non-stop excited chatter he had exasperated over and surprisingly grown accustomed to.

In fact, Jack didn't think he recalled ever seeing Daniel ramble on like that on the first mission. Not that he had bothered to listen.

_"…Except there's only six symbols in the cartouche." Meyers went on saying, pointing out a flaw in Jackson's theory._

_Jack turned his head and eyed the young scientist, wondering with vague interest how he was going to respond to that wrench in the works._

_Doctor Jackson only blinked as if he was surprised no one has caught on yet. Without an ounce of impatience in his voice, the archeologist went on. _

_"Well, the seventh symbol actually isn't inside the cartouche. It's just below it here." The scholar circled a spot on his copy taped to the marker board. He then shifted to a clean spot and began drawing what looked like to Jack's disgust, children's scribbles._

_"…Designated by a little pyramid, two funny…neat little guys…funny line going straight…um…up—"Jackson looked up sheepishly and shrugged. "…Ah…anyway—" He laughed nervously._

_Neat? Next thing you'll know, he'll exclaim "gosh" and "golly gee". Jack resisted the urge to roll his eyes. What the hell kind of language was that? He wondered if General West was going to throw him out or if he was going to have the pleasure._

_"He did it." Katherine spoke over her steepled fingers. Her eyes sparkled with excitement. Shore and the others were gaping at the marker board with amazement._

_Jack blinked in surprise as the rest of the scientists who were there for two years suddenly burst into discussion about what one pup of an academic did in two weeks._

The fire sparked as wood splintered loudly, pulling him out of his thoughts abruptly. Jack looked as far as he could without moving in his sleeping bag and saw the two still talking. He frowned as he realized Daniel seem to have no problem conversing with Teal'c, where as with him Daniel watched him as if waiting for Jack to pull his gun on him.

_Damn it._

The colonel glared angrily at the inside of his sleeping bag, feeling an urge to punch something. With a start, he had a flash of hitting Daniel.

_It's not his fault. It's not like we wanted to fall off those damn steps. He didn't exactly say to us "Hey, let's go take a hundred foot dive down the river, guys." He's…he's…just having a bad day. That's all. Damn it. We should have taken the bridge after all._

_So, he doesn't remember us…or…them. He remembers me. So, he should be okay. Doc will fix him up good as new._

But that was the problem.

Daniel **did** remember Jack.

_Jack stared at him as if he started dancing right in front of the pyramids._

_"What?"_

_Shrugging a little, Jackson looked distracted as he stared at the three round silhouettes framing the huge pyramid._

_"There's no cartouche, no cover stone. I thought—"_

_One of the soldiers stepped in angrily, and Jackson finally noticed, taking a step back. Mouth slightly open, it seemed to have finally occurred to the archeologist that not everyone was so goddamn fascinated with the pyramids. Jack stood there, watching dispassionately, not particularly caring about himself, but anger that Jackson would be so selfish to put the others in danger._

_Uncertainty flickered across Jackson's face, and the colonel felt a twinge. It was common sense, he told himself. Kill the geek, and that eliminated __**all**__ possibilities of sending his men home. So he stepped forward a bit, blocking his men from lynching the archeologist._

Jack wasn't exactly on Daniel's Christmas card list back then. He couldn't stop this nagging feeling that if they...if Daniel never remembered, and they had to start all over again, something was going to be...lost.

There wouldn't be any more nights talking on top of the observation deck.

No more days of shared solitude sitting by the campfire not talking, but still taking comfort from each other.

_"Hands heal, Jack. I know the other stuff…doesn't always heal."_

No more showing up at some bar even when he thought he didn't feel like company.

Something tightened in his chest like a dagger digging into his ribs.

Pursing his lips, Jack told himself sternly that losing sleep over this was not going to help either of them. He kept telling himself. Once they get home, his friend would get better. With that in mind, Jack closed his eyes and tried to sleep.

"But what did **I** do?"

Jack's eyes flew open again when he heard the question, barely audible, whispered in a soft, hesitant voice. He held his breath, wondering just how much was Teal'c going to say to him. But the Jaffa never had a chance.

"No…I think I know. Decipher the seven symbols so you three can get home. Right?"

"No." Jack mouthed silently. _Maybe in the beginning. Maybe on that first mission. But—_

"Makes sense I suppose. I mean…if this Stargate really does take travelers to other places…there are probably hundreds of cultures out there you guys want to explore. That **is** what you do, right?"

The soldier wondered why Teal'c wasn't saying anything. Then again, Jack doubted he himself would have had a witty comeback for Daniel either.

"Good…I don't want to think we're here for some government conspiracy to gain some sort of evil technology."

Jack grinned at that, but his smile faded when he heard Daniel's laugh. It sounded so…dull, tired.

_It's his concussion. He probably has a rock band inside his skull right now._

"One thing for sure…I wasn't in it for the papers or anything I suppose."

_Ah hell, Jackson._ The colonel sucked in his breath. He wondered what was going to happen when Daniel **did** remember the reason why he joined them.

_"Colonel! Ferretti needs medical attention!"_

_There was so much going on. Too much. Jack had left the chambers filled with people laughing, eating, and working, the kettle in the center bubbling with the same mirth these people had. Only to come back to the stench of blood, smoke, and charred flesh. Even the pot was silent now, its contents overturned during the firefight, looking bleak, empty. _

_His men. His team, in shambles. He was almost afraid to turn around to see how many more dead bodies there would be._

_"Go." Daniel tugged at his clothes, not noticing the blood on his hands. "Help him. I can send you back—"_

_That got Jack's attention. _

_"You're coming with us this time, Daniel. I've got orders." The colonel flinched inwardly at the words. God, he sounded like a bastard._

_Daniel reacted more visibly. "I don't __**care**__ about your orders!" The shell-shocked pallor turned to an angry red flush as he jerked a hand towards the idle Stargate. "My __**wife**__ is out there. And so is Skaara." Daniel threw the last one in as if Jack had forgotten._

_But he didn't. Jack scowled back, feeling a bit irritated. Man had not changed one bit. Stubborn as a mule, determined he could do things when he didn't even have the tools. Just like the first time. The colonel pointed angrily at him, then to the critically injured soldier._

_"And the only way you're going to get them back is by coming with us." Jack could see reason returning to those stricken eyes. "Ferretti might have seen those coordinates."_

_That slammed reality back into Daniel Jackson. He needed to go back. Back home._

_To Earth._

_Jack watched the young scientist beckon everyone to come near, the surviving rag tag group huddling around him like a captive audience. He could only watch as Daniel told them to seal away the Stargate._

_"I'll try and bring Sha're home."_

_Home._

_Daniel called it home._

_And Jack suddenly realized just how hard it was for Daniel to turn away, walk over to the DHD to punch in the seven symbols for Earth. He saw the young man give him a sideways look, eyes red, lips trembling, and Jack saw him ask. Jack saw him ask if he was really making the right decision by going back with him. He looked back at Daniel, wondering what was it the archeologist saw in his eyes._

_Daniel punched the first symbol._

"...Validate my theories. We call it publish or perish." Daniel was still going, oblivious to Jack's listening ear.

"Your theories were correct," Teal'c pointed out.

_Yeah, but who's he going to say that to except us?_ Jack thought darkly. _I wonder if it was ever enough for him?_

"That's…nice." Daniel paused as if he was remembering something. Jack thought he heard him sigh as his voice went lower.

"I really did have nowhere else to go, I guess."

_Daniel._

Jack stirred, tried to let Teal'c know that he was awake, give them some warning.

Out of the darkness, a high-pitched howl that made Jack's hair stand straight cut through the night. The musical chirping of small creatures suddenly disappeared. Yanking close his sidearm, wishing he had his rifle at least, Jack kicked his sleeping bag aside, yanked Carter's arm to wake her, and stood there.

He stared at the darkness, scowling as it occurred to him this area while warm and close to the river also left them at a disadvantage. Trees lined the riverbank, thick and plenty. With the moon shining down, it made the greenery dark and ominous with long shadows.

"Carter, you and Daniel get some cover over there!" Elevating his arms, Jack aimed his pistol at any direction. The sound seemed to have come from everywhere. He heard the captain start to protest, and he whipped his head at her, glaring. She darted her eyes to Daniel and clamped her mouth shut. Nothing else needed to be said. Slowly, painfully, she went over to where Daniel was. As she disappeared from his sight, Jack automatically took a step back, to tighten the circle, to not leave any openings for attack. And Jack could hear Teal'c bring up the guard, doing the same.

Jack kept his eyes trained on one side of the tree line, Teal'c the other, their backs to the river.

Nothing.

No roar. No rustle in the bushes.

Nothing.

So what happened to all the garbling birds? What happened to the night creatures that hummed like the crickets of his own planet?

Why were they quiet?

"Shit," Jack muttered to himself, tensing instinctively.

Teal'c's arm bulged as he lifted up his own weapon. The dark warrior made no sound as he surveyed his side of the landscape. Jack tracked the direction of the Jaffa's view and thought he saw something move.

To his left, Jack heard a footfall, and he recognized it instantly.

"What the **hell** do you think you're doing?" Jack couldn't stop himself from snapping at Daniel, worry burning every syllable. The soldier didn't dare turn around, break his sight away from the dark forest in front of him. "Step back! Keep away from here!"

Jack thought he heard his friend say something, but he didn't hear any words. Carter's soft voice spoke instead.

"Daniel?"

"Captain, get him back! That's an order!" Jack hissed as he heard rustling to his right.

Three o'clock.

Jack aimed towards there.

Another roar. It was louder now.

Even the river and the campfire seemed to grow silently.

"Daniel, come on, let's get back here." Jack could hear Sam trying to move Daniel back. He felt a rush of frustration heating his face, wondering just what the hell Daniel thought he was doing right now. But the soldier shoved that thought aside as he heard one of the trees break as if torn from its roots.

"Daniel?"

"Keep…keep away." The young man's voice sounded…frightened.

The colonel could hear Daniel moving.

"Captain!" He barked. The leader was going to tell Carter to sit on him if she had to when a howl appeared to make the ground move under his feet.

"Son of a—" Jack swore, forgetting what he was going to say. He could see a dark shape lurking a few feet away as if testing the waters for an approach.

"Over there!" the Jaffa shouted, nearly making Jack jump. Teal'c fired his staff weapon at the forest to warn them off. The colonel whipped around and aimed his gun at the other mass.

_Two of them?_ Jack stilled.

_Numbers. They must hunt in numbers. Those things are too big to run after small animals. They hunt in numbers. Ah shit._ Jack fired a shot in their general direction to ward them off. One of the shadows jerked back.

"Daniel?"

Jack's voice was hard. This was no time for stupid stunts. "Carter, what the **fuck** is he doing back there? Keep him there before we—"

"O'Neill!"

His head whipped up, but he was unprepared for the sight of the trees in front of him actually bending forward as one of the monsters plowed through them. Staggering back, Jack fired again as Teal'c did the same into the trees.

"Sir!"

"Stay back!" Jack didn't know if he was telling Carter or the beast. He nearly fell into the river as the animal lurched at him, its thick hide protection against bullets. The colonel fell on his back as another dodge from its claws made him lose his footing. "You god damn—"

"Teal'c! There's another!" Carter's voice was actually shrill. Jack had never heard it that way before. A shot cracked from her weapon.

Claws.

That smell of foul, rotting flesh again.

Moonlight flashed on sharp nails before Jack rolled away, barely missing a swipe on his back.

Roar behind him. Water splashing.

"Another one!"

Who shouted?

Jack couldn't tell. He had no time to look up. A looming shadow, like his own personal eclipse was smothering him. He swung his arm up and felt the shock of impact coursing through his aching limb as it struck fur and muscle. The shadow receded.

Another roar.

_Aw man. Now it's pissed._

The animal shrieked as another bullet, this time from Teal'c's sidearm, struck its head. Large paws retracting to clutch its own skull, it staggered back.

Jack took no chances.

He emptied every last bullet he had left in his clip into the beast.

It cried out, high, long before it fell forward, narrowly missing landing on him. He got to his feet, staggered away from the dying creature, and set his eyes on the newest arriving monster by the water, a few feet away.

A howl from the one by the river. Another by the trees. They sounded human, so human, like a woman's cry of grief. Jack tensed and lifted his gun again, hoping the sight would frighten off the creatures. He had no bullets left, his clips gone in the fall.

The bear-like animal stood on its hind legs, long pointy snout sniffing the air in front of him, fur bristling across its massive chest as it stretched. Teal'c stepped closer to Jack, facing the opposite direction at the other creature. But Jack didn't turn around to see if that one still remained. He stood there transfixed at the one standing in two feet of shallow water.

Black as the darkest night, it stood taller than Teal'c, pointy fox like ears twitching in anger.

It hated Jack.

The colonel was no expert on animals. But he knew hatred when he saw it. That look on humans was disconcerting, but he could handle it. This—

Eyes round and slated in the ends like a feline, they looked oddly human with emotion, black opals that burned with its own fire. Glaring at him silently, making no approach, making no sound, the only thing betraying its feelings were the sporadic twitches of its long pointy ears. As if daring Jack to come closer.

Jack just gripped his weapon tightly, silently returning the challenge.

"O'Neill. The other is leaving."

Jack didn't answer. The monster's ears twitched at the sound of Teal'c's voice, and it growled low under its breath, lip curling back to reveal a shock of white teeth. The colonel tensed, his gun steady, but it didn't venture closer.

Another howl, low, back in the direction of the forest, and the creature in front of him snorted. Dropping down on all fours, it hurried away, pointedly ignoring Jack's weapon as it swam in deeper water. With surprising swiftness, it reached the bank and fled into the opposite line of trees across the river. The woods bent and swayed as it cut through its own path through the wilderness until Jack saw no more movement indicating where it was.

"Sir!" Carter's alarmed voice made O'Neill jerked his hand up again before he saw what was wrong. Spinning around to where she was, Jack swore softly, throwing his empty gun down in disgust.

Daniel was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Tree branches whipped, slashing at his face as he ran. He didn't know he could even run that fast. Legs pumping, stumbling as his vision blurred at the most importune moments, Daniel Jackson fled.

He could hear the animals screaming, the guns firing, so loud, so loud.

His foot caught on a root, and Daniel fell. Hard.

"Oof!" He grunted, landing face down on the dirt. Stunned, he laid there, chest heaving, the world spinning uncontrollably around him.

_"You're trying to kill me!" Daniel shouted, huddling by the shelves. He shivered uncontrollably, hating himself for not being able to still. The footsteps were coming closer. Closer. They were blocking the door. He crammed a fist in his mouth to stop from whimpering._

_Everything hurt. Everything. He was on fire. The pain was too much. Why were they doing this to him? Why? He thought they were his friends. They said they would make the pain stop, yet they wouldn't do the one thing to make it stop._

_They were killing him._

_They weren't going to let him go back._

"Oh my God." Daniel murmured. He felt nauseated. Turning over on his side, he threw up. Gasping, he was too tired to even wipe his mouth.

"T-they…they were going to kill me." Daniel heaved, curled up in the dirt, staring at nothing.

Eyes glowing.

He remembered seeing them glow.

Captain Carter's eyes glowed.

_The man with a child's face, walked up to him, staring at his face intently. The man's dark eyes drifted down to something hanging around Daniel's neck and his lips thinned._

_Looking up again, his eyes glowed._

_"There," the being hissed in ancient Egyptian, "can only be one Ra." _

_With a quick flick, Ra yanked Katherine's pendant off so hard it left a burning scrape along the back of Daniel's neck._

Daniel sat up, shuffling away from the stink of his own vomit. He covered his mouth, his breathing quickening as his mind flashed what felt like a million pictures in his head.

_Ra's eyes glowed too. Ra was a G…Goa'uld? _

_Just like Carter._

He groaned, dropping his head into his folded arms. Everything ached. Daniel wished that the world would stop spinning so out of control. At least so he could think. It was like the ground surged up then sank down as his ears rang. Daniel needed to think. He needed to think.

Gunshot.

A howl.

Daniel jerked his head up, the movement so sudden and so painful, tears sprang from his eyes.

He needed to think just not here. He was too close to them.

_"The Stargate." The female soldier pointed at the cliffs. "It's up there."_

"Stargate," Daniel murmured. "I could…I could go home?" The word sounded strange to his ears.

_But I don't know the seventh symbol._

Daniel frowned.

_Well, obviously, I found it last time on Abydos. And apparently I found it here. So I can find it again._

Grunting, satisfied with some sort of plan, Daniel got unsteadily to his feet. Lurching, he walked crookedly, hands out to steady himself on the trees and headed for the distant cliffs.

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_Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Sam swallowed, resisting the urge to sit down somewhere and cry, shout, shoot every tree that was behind her or whatever as the colonel threw down his gun on the ground.

"Where is he?" Jack bellowed, his face beet red.

Sam shook her head, upset too. "I don't know! He was right there! By that tree! And then I turned around and saw that other creature and fired. I—"

"You were supposed to watch him!" Jack's voice was rising to a small roar.

The captain winced.

Seeing this, he stopped. He rubbed his face with his hands and sighed heavily into them. "Shit. Sorry. That was uncalled for."

"No, I should have been—"

"**Look**, Daniel is not really buddy buddy with us right now." Jack waved his hand at himself vaguely, but didn't go further with that statement. "He must have freaked out when he saw those things." The colonel snorted in disgust at the carcass lying not three feet away.

"I think he was remembering something, sir," Carter said softly. She remembered the look of terror on her friend's face as he staggered away from her, hands up to block her approach. "I think he was starting to remember and whatever it was," she swallowed. "Whatever it was scared him, sir."

Jack ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. "Well, this past year wasn't exactly a Kodak moment for him, Carter." He looked around the campsite, remembering hearing Daniel's voice. "But if he was remembering us, why the hell did he run? You would have thought—" The leader shook his head, getting a headache. "We can't have him wandering around like this. Let's pack this place up and split the ammo."

"We are going after Daniel Jackson," Teal'c stated flatly, his eyes already scanning the area for signs of Daniel's whereabouts.

"Yeah. Then, when this is all over, I'm gonna kick his butt for this stunt," Jack muttered, but the anger wasn't in the words. He looked at the forest, brown eyes dark with concern. "God damn it, Daniel."

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He was so tired.

Feet barely picking up, Daniel staggered until he finally had to tell himself to stop. Dropping down unceremoniously on the ground, he surveyed the land around him.

_Well, it isn't a desert. That's for sure. And certainly very…green. What's with all these trees?_

Daniel grimaced as he felt his stomach churn. He knew he wasn't hungry. God, the thought of food could send him lurching at the bushes again. But his stomach wouldn't settle down. He coughed, and it struck him that he was thirsty as well.

The river gurgled happily to his right. He had been tracking it, following against the flow to the cliffs Captain Carter had pointed out. Eyeing the water warily, Daniel wondered if it was safe enough to drink.

_Well, my clothes were wet. Obviously the colonel was telling the truth that I fell in the water. I must have swallowed some, and I feel okay. _

_Sort of._

Sighing, Daniel got to his feet again and walked over to the river, his path going in a crooked line. Falling on his knees, he eyed the water near the bank. Coughing made the decision for him, and the young man ducked his head into the cool water.

The chill came as a shock, and he jerked his head back up with a gasp. Wiping the back of the hand across his mouth, Daniel tasted the sweet liquid. Bending down closer, he scooped up some water and gulped it fast, enjoying how it soothed his parch throat.

_"And I'm telling you it's good."_

Daniel looked up, water dripping from his chin. He glanced around, puzzled. The world seemed to shimmer and change to another planet.

_The water looked pristine and tempting. Wiping sweat off his brow, tilting back the cumbersome helmet, Daniel eyed the water once more. Too hot, he took off the heavy headgear with a sigh._

_"Look, we got fresh water tablets. It's better to not take the chance and they'll dissolve whatever may be in there."_

_"And make them taste like melted spoons? No thanks. Besides, Jack. I'm not drinking it, just want to cool off." Daniel made a funny face._

_The older man stood behind him, missed grabbing his shoulder as Daniel ducked his head into the water._

_"Daniel!"_

_Grinning, Daniel lifted his head up and shook water out of his hair with a sheepish grin. "Water's great, J—"_

_"I don't care if they bottle the damn water and call it soda pop! I said to wait!"_

_"It's over a hundred degrees here. We're all tired, and the water's safe." The young man splashed some more water on his face._

_"You don't know that for sure."_

_"Look, even the residential deer over there are drinking from the river!" Daniel waved towards the gray colored creatures downstream._

_A long pause._

_"Daniel?"_

_He looked up at a grin as he scooped water to wash his face._

_"What?"_

_"Bambi's __**pissing**__ in the river."_

_Daniel sputtered, frantically wiping his face with his sleeve as the man laughed._

Using his sleeve to dry his mouth, Daniel frowned. The surroundings melted back to what they were before, and he blinked at what obviously was a memory. The archeologist turned around to see if there really wasn't some man standing over him, laughing.

Oddly enough, it didn't sound like it was from scorn.

Daniel's head was killing him again.

_Poor choice of words._ He winced, almost feeling phantom fists pounding at him again and again, Colonel O'Neill's face twisted with hate. He sat back on his rear, his head drooping down until his chin was tucked on his chest. Gulping deep breaths, he ran a tongue around his mouth and wondered if drinking the water was a good idea.

_You've been on enough digs to know better, Jackson_, he told himself sternly. Daniel shuddered.

It sounded like something the colonel would probably say.

_Speaking of which—_

The night sky was beginning to lighten. Obviously, the nights were short here. Which meant he could keep going to reach the Stargate and get home.

Home.

Somehow, his throat tightened at the word.

Where was home exactly?

_He stared at the woman, at her fancy hat and thought she was mad. Suddenly, sitting in this limo wasn't such a good idea after all._

_"Uh…I…I'm gonna go." He reached for the door handle._

_"Go where?" Langford gave a small laugh. "You've just been evicted from your apartment. Your grants have run out. Everything you own are in those two bags."_

The young man wrapped his arms around his knees.

_"Want to prove your theories are right? Then here's your chance."_

And he took it.

_So what then? What happened after that?_

Surely he couldn't have been wandering around after O'Neill for two years. They obviously left Abydos. That much was for sure. But what he's got in his mind, images flashing too fast for him to reach out and grab hold.

_I don't exactly look…happy in them._

Daniel sighed heavily and shivered.

_So what else is new?_

"This is stupid," Daniel said out loud. He was going home. That's what he was going to do. Unsteadily, he got up, hand up to his head when his vision blurred. Muttering, disgusted with himself, Daniel waited until the sensation passed. When it did, the world became a dark haze again.

And something howled.

Goosebumps rippling his arms, Daniel eyed the woods behind him. It sounded far away. He hoped it wasn't the ones that were there before. He felt a twinge of guilt about leaving the soldiers, but it looked like they could handle it. They didn't need him. Hell, they were circling around him and had Carter baby-sit him when they attacked.

_Didn't have a gun. Colonel O'Neill probably thought I might shoot him instead. I am…non-military personnel after all. _Daniel followed the river carefully, arms wrapped around himself to instill warmth from the night chill.

_Daniel leaned closer to Barbara Shore. "…These are cover stones." He waved at the stone circle behind him. "Was there a tomb underneath?"_

_The older woman smiled, leaning closer as well, her voice a hushed vibration of excitement. "Oh no no no. But we found something." She rubbed her neck as she went, "a lot more inter—"_

_"Excuse me."_

_The two looked up at the expressionless face of Colonel Jack O'Neill. The man didn't even have the gall to act upset. _

_Flipping the folder, handing it to Kawalsky, O'Neill's eyes wandered over briefly to Daniel before snapping forward. "This information has become classified." To Kawalsky now, he pointedly ignored Daniel. "From now on, no information is to be passed on to non-military personnel." The colonel's eyes went back to him again. "Without my expressed permission."_

O'Neill never wanted him on his team.

_The doors slammed behind them with a loud tone of finality._

_Colonel O'Neill whirled around, his rifle out._

_"Open this door!" Kawalsky and Brown went over to the doors, brushing past Daniel as he tried to talk to the village elder. The old man waved his hands, his words rapid as he tried to explain. Daniel turned to look at O'Neill helplessly, but his mouth dropped open when he saw the colonel snag one of the elders into a chokehold._

_"No! Don't!" He rushed over to stop it, but the colonel shoved him harshly back against the door._

_"Open this door!" O'Neill's eyes blazed as the rest of his men fired their rifles into the sand, sending the people into a panic over the strange noises._

_"What are you doing?" Daniel exclaimed, but O'Neill ignored him._

_"She'shu-ru!" The young teen who ran away from O'Neill before cut through the crowd despite the elder's protests. He waved at O'Neill and smiled, his grin too terrified to be reassuring. "She'shu-ru!"_

_Daniel watched apprehensively as the leader let go and warily followed the youth up the catwalks._

_"Sir! What is it?" Kawalsky shouted, his arm still around the native. He shot Daniel a glare when he tried to tell him to let go._

_A slight pause and Daniel tensed, wondering if the soldiers were going to start shooting again._

_"Sand storm!" O'Neill's voice rang out. "Coming this way!"_

_Kawalsky groaned as he realized that the natives were trying to keep them in for safety's sake and abruptly released his hostage. The villager flew, rambling in a frightened jumble of strange words._

_"Well that would have been an excellent reason to shoot everyone," Daniel muttered under his breath. He lifted his eyes, and his breath caught as he saw O'Neill glaring at him, having heard. He then turned on his heels, ignoring the scientist._

_"We'll stay until the storm is over," O'Neill told his men._

_Daniel pretended the dismissal from the leader was no big deal and hurried over to try and convey their apologies even as the colonel made his plans without him. _

How did he stay on a team with a man like that for **two** years? The soldier literally dismissed him, never took him seriously at all.

Daniel stumbled once more and swore softly, pausing at the words coming out of his own mouth. Making a face, he shrugged and tracked the river, occasionally looking up to see if there weren't any giant wildebeests following. For some reason, the night was too silent even though Daniel preferred hearing the chitchats of insects than of hungry animals lurking about.

A twig snapped.

Jerking to a halt, Daniel turned his head.

No one.

"Hello?" he whispered into the darkness. He could barely see past two feet, the moon not quite giving enough light for him to see his own hands. Daniel was beginning to wish he thought of grabbing a flashlight or at least another jacket. The night air was getting chilly, his fingers numb. Daylight was approaching, but now it wasn't soon enough.

"H-hello?"

No response.

"Stupid," Daniel muttered. "Letting yourself get carried away." Somehow, even hearing the sound of his voice was not enough. He paused. For some reason, he half wished to hear other voices. Shaking his head and regretting it when his head ached, Daniel pushed on.

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_"They don't know what to do with me. And I don't know what to do with myself."_

Jack blinked. Eyeing Carter and Teal'c flanking him on both sides, he noted they didn't see his temporary distraction.

_Leaving the infirmary, Jack grabbed his leather jacket, his bones aching from the rush of adrenaline seeping away like a leak. It had been only a year since he retired, but now it felt like decades. _

_Nodding as one soldier saluted, too tired to return the gesture, Jack almost missed seeing a lone figure standing at the junction of the rounded corridors._

_"What the?" Jack muttered as something nagged him about that posture. As he came a bit closer, memory snapped into place._

_Daniel._

Jack wondered if his friend was standing somewhere waiting for someone to pull him away from his confusion. He hoped so.

"Sir, I see tracks here," Carter murmured. She fingered the boot heel print, clear in the damp mud.

"Daniel Jackson is tracking the river," Teal'c noted. "He appears to be returning to the Stargate.

Jack frowned. "Daniel doesn't have a GDO, and I doubt he remembers the codes to open the iris." The colonel refused to voice what could happen if Daniel tried to dial home without them.

Judging by the twin grim faces before him, Jack knew the rest of his team drew the same conclusion.

"Pick up the pace," Jack ordered, reshouldering his backpack, grimacing as the still damp material seem to soak through his thin jacket, making everything cold, clammy. First thing he was going to do when he got back was take a nice long hot shower.

No, make that the second.

First he was going to yell the dickens out of a certain archeologist.

As they trudged through thick greenery, Jack mulled over what Carter said.

_"I think he was starting to remember and whatever it was…whatever it was, scared him, sir."_

The colonel's frown deepened, his eyes like pinpricks now.

_I can make a goddamn list of what might have scared him._ _But why run away from us? What the hell did he see? _Jack thought darkly as he eyed the prints, noting they weren't a straight line. His fists automatically clenched at the sight. He could picture Daniel, pale, stumbling through a strange place he had no recollection of, trying to reach the only thing that was familiar to him here.

The Stargate.

But Jack needed to get there first.

And not just to stop him from going through it without the iris open.

Strangely enough, Jack wanted to get there, convince Daniel there was truly nothing to be afraid of and…and…

Walk through the Stargate **with** him, back home, together.

_Weird._

A howl.

Whipping around, Jack yanked out his sidearm, cursing as he remembered he only had half a clip. The ammo had been split among the three. Teal'c's staff weapon wasn't fine-tuned enough to pinpoint a target if one of those things came up close again.

"It came from where we were before, O'Neill."

Jack nodded, silently agreeing with Teal'c's assessment. "We better get a move on."

They said nothing more as they tracked the trail along the river, the sun already beginning to warm their backs as it rose.

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"Oh boy," Daniel murmured as he saw the crumbling steps.

The stone wedges spanned as far as his eyes could see. The sun, slowly rising, broke through the mist on top only to reveal even more stairs.

"Yikes." Daniel rubbed the back of his neck, his headache seeming to grow with the more he tried to calculate the height.

_"Let go!"_

The young man started.

_"Let go of my hand!" Daniel's hand felt slick with fear-induced sweat as he stubbornly hung on. He looked at the white face of Jack O'Neill. He could hear howling, spit hitting his glasses as something snapped hungry jaws at him. _

_Daniel felt the steps digging in his chest as he hung there, holding onto Jack's hand. They were breaking up underneath him. He could feel the corners give._

_Before he could do anything, Jack O'Neill pulled him forward over the edge._

"No!" The archeologist fell back, tripping over a fallen log and dropped to the ground.

_The world spun vertically, wind rushing past his face. Daniel desperately wiggled out of his backpack, his glasses torn away as he fell, and he tensed, preparing himself as the inevitable impact rushed up to meet him. When ice slammed into his senses, Daniel screamed._

"Oh God," Daniel panted as he sat there, legs draped over the log, his arms spread out like wings. On his back, he stared at the lightening pink sky, his chest heaving as he felt the sensation of falling once more.

_I was on those stairs…that cliff they were talking about. I…I…fell…all the way down. My God…what was I doing?_

_"Let go of my hand!"_

Daniel heard fear in the colonel's voice.

His breathing slowed.

Distinct fear.

For…him?

No. Daniel shook his head, the grass crinkling underneath him. Probably for the creature he vaguely saw on O'Neill's back.

But what to do now?

The young man turned his head at the steps. Somehow, he knew they led to the Stargate.

The cliff itself was a slope of several plateaus. The stairs hugged its faces as they rose. Daniel could see vines snaking the trees, draping the cliff like a floral curtain.

_Not exactly much of a choice here._

Then again, Daniel didn't see himself going up the stairs again.

Getting up, he brushed the dirt off his pants and went over to the first ledge. He paused as he saw the smooth ridges, the surface flattening out to a sharp slope and then another plateau.

"Here goes nothing." Daniel spoke out loud and began to climb.


	8. REVISED : Chapter 8

Author's Note: Nuts, sorry gang. Someone just pointed out the error.scenebreak

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_"Jack?"_

_The colonel looked up to see the hesitant face of Daniel peering around the edge of his door. He shrugged, waving wearily at him to come in. The scientist stood there at the threshold for just a moment before entering._

_"Finished your report, Daniel?" Jack muttered, not looking up as he struggled through his. "Finished writing about the wonders of ole glorious P7J-989?" He scowled at the name. _

_"Not really."_

_Jack looked up at Daniel's face. "What?"_

_The archeologist sat on an empty chair, arms folded on the back of it. He laid his chin on top of them and sighed._

_"What am I really suppose to say about it, Jack?"_

_The colonel grunted. "How about saying how the Keeper was an ass, and we should send a nuke over to that miserable planet?"_

_"I think the reports are supposed to say what happened, Jack."_

_"We came, we saw, we remembered. They sucked, we got out, and went home," Jack said curtly._

_Daniel made no comment. He eyed Jack's report warily as if it was a snake poised for attack._

_"What?" Jack tapped his pen impatiently._

_"What…what did he made you remember?"_

_Jack's eyes narrowed._

_Seeing this, Daniel bit his lower lip. "Sorry, never mind."_

_"What did __**you**__ remember?" Jack challenged. "I saw we were at a museum. Bad school trip there, Jackson?" He regretted his words immediately when Daniel's face paled. It looked like the same face when he was warped into that reality after he and Teal'c refused to participate in the Keeper's game. That same look of shock that never seemed to go away._

_"N-no."_

_The colonel rubbed his hands across his face. "Look, that was uncalled for—"_

_"My parents."_

_Jack looked up. Daniel was looking at the wall behind Jack._

_"I saw…I saw my parents."_

_"Daniel—"_

_"They looked exactly t-the same. Even right down to the scarf. That scarf." Daniel's voice held a faraway sound to it. He didn't seem to notice when Jack slid his chair closer. _

_"Everything was so dusty. She didn't want me too close. I was allergic to the dust." The young man laughed. "Me…an archeologist…afraid of a little d-dust." Daniel dropped his head onto his folded arms again. _

_"It was like…I was just a kid again. Couldn't do anything. Anything at all." _

_Jack swallowed. He looked at the curved downward neck and closed his eyes._

_"John."_

_Daniel looked up._

_"He was a good friend. My last mission. To this day I don't know how everything could have gone so wrong."_

_"Bad?" Daniel's voice was a whisper._

_The older man could only cough. "You…you could say that."_

_"Sorry."_

_Jack turned back to his friend. "What for?"_

_"For…remembering." _

_"We're not machines. We can't just turn it on and off."_

_Daniel tilted his head a bit, gazing up at Jack from his supporting arm. "You did sometimes."_

And Daniel did just that.

Jack paused in front of the clearing, the river and the steps a few feet away. Carter and Teal'c were unaware of him stopping as they bent to examine a scuffmark.

_"And what about you?" Daniel's voice was feather soft. Even the fire crackling in his fireplace seemed louder._

_Jack suddenly found the words stuck in his throat. He gulped the lump, caught the hauntingly familiar gaze of loss in his friend's eyes. He didn't even realize he was opening his mouth to reply until he heard the words and was too late to take them back._

_"I'm just the opposite," the colonel croaked. "I'll __**never**__ forgive myself." Never. "But sometimes I can forget." Jack paused as the words filtered into his own mind. He covered his emotions by looking down at the beer bottle before tilting it to his lips. "Sometimes."_

_As he drank the alcohol, Jack caught sight of twin pained eyes looking away into the fire and Jack wondered if he was thinking of Sha're again._

_No he wasn't_, Jack thought as he came closer to where Carter was waving frantically. _Not just Sha're. He had so much, if not more than me, that he wanted to forget, and I doubt a bottle of beer would have solved his problems like I thought it did mine._

"Sir." Carter fingered the long drag mark in the dirt. "The trail stops here."

"What?" Jack shook out of his reverie. He stooped closer, eyeing the heel prints that indeed vanished right on the edge of the clearing. Running a hand through his hair, Jack glared at the print, then let his eyes wander to—

The steps.

_"Daniel! Let go of my hand!"_

It was too late. Jack could still feel the sharp shards of rock raining down as the steps crumbled and tumbled down with him, Daniel and the monster.

Jack hoped it was dead.

"Sir?"

"Three possibilities," Jack spoke sharply, catching the concerned looks exchanged between her and Teal'c. "He either went up the steps here." Jack pointed to the cliff opposite the one they fell from. "Across the stream to that one." The colonel didn't even bother looking over there. He practically had that surface etched in his memory for all time now. "Or—" His voice trailed off.

Like one, the team lifted their heads up to the looming cliff, the reddish plateaus fading away in the mists above.

"Sir…You don't think—" Carter didn't finish.

"We don't know for sure. I only know we have to stop him from going through that gate without us," the man interjected in a grim voice. "We have to catch up with him. There's no other option."

"I can go up the cliff, O'Neill," Teal'c announced as he lifted his staff weapon.

Jack shook his head. "No. You're stronger than us and can hear them coming before we can. I'm going to need that on those stairs." Jack pointed to the dubiously intact steps. "Carter, you and Teal'c take the stairs. I'll take the…er…the cliff." He winced inwardly.

"Sir!" Carter exclaimed. "By yourself?"

"Look, Teal'c has a better advantage on those stairs, but I'll be damned if he goes alone. I can take the cliffs. Doubt Mister Hairy and Smokey-with-the-Attitude is very keen with climbing."

"They are indeed quite large, and they first appeared through the openings on the rock formation," Teal'c agreed. But the Jaffa arched an eyebrow towards Jack. The colonel shook his head.

"The thing ain't that high, and it's broken into flatter surfaces. If Daniel is up there, I may still catch him."

"Sir, your shoulder—" Carter hedged.

"Is fine and just itches a little," Jack cut in smoothly. He wasn't exactly lying. Except for a slight twinge every now and then, the graze barely felt like it was there. Jack didn't feel it at all the whole time he was tracking his friend.

The two looked at each other again.

"We don't have time to waste here!" Jack snapped before he could stop himself. "Go up the steps, see if you can find any sign. If not, get to the Stargate as fast as you can. One of you go through and make sure they leave that damn iris open no matter what!" The colonel spun abruptly, heading for the cliffs.

"Sir—"

"What?" Jack was this close to biting Carter's head off.

"We'll find him."

_Aw hell._ Jack took a deep breath.

"Of course we will, Captain. Watch your backs. Okay?" Jack didn't wait to hear their replies as he grabbed the first crack he saw and pulled himself up.

_We should have taken the goddamn bridge_, Jack thought as he began the slow process of climbing.

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Exhausted, Daniel sat down on the ground, leaning his head on the tree behind him. Head pounding, he couldn't get his eyes to focus any better. And, he was thirsty again.

But no river.

"This…was a mistake," Daniel said aloud, eyeing the last section of rock he needed to climb. Trees, heavy vines blocked his view of the opposite cliff, and he wondered just how far away the Stargate was. Daniel hoped it wasn't far. He wanted to go ho—

To go home.

With a sigh, Daniel dropped his head to his knees. Hands falling to the ground, he took deep breaths as he tried to recall just what did _home_ look like.

Nothing.

"Maybe I just live on base," Daniel mused out loud. It would make sense. If they were constantly…exploring, then staying on base was…

Practical.

Making a face, Daniel eyed his fatigues again, dried from the sun burning down on his back during the tedious ascent up the rocky landscape. He rubbed his temples, the bandage loose and partly covering his brow. With a jerk, Daniel tugged the bandages free and grimaced when he saw the blood caked on its fabric.

"Ow," he murmured as he dropped the cloth. Staring at it, Daniel felt an odd stirring as he realized that this couldn't have been the first time he had to mend on the run.

But what did that mean exactly?

Shaking his head, Daniel moaned softly as it got harder and harder to think. He dropped his head into his hands, taking slow, deep breaths as he tried to calm down.

Daniel simply didn't know what to do.

_The hallways looked empty, deserted except for the occasional soldier who walked by, giving him a funny look._

_Daniel ruefully brushed invisible wrinkles off his fatigues, the size a bit larger than his frame, but surplus didn't have his size. Either that or the airman simply didn't care to take another look._

_Baggy clothes replaced his coarse robes, and they felt heavy on his body. Daniel leaned against the frame of one of the round hallway junctions, feeling very out of place. Very awkward._

_It was like being seven all over again._

_And all he could do was like when he was small. So, he stood there, staring at the strange unfamiliar walls, waiting for some people in another room to decide his fate._

_"Hey." A quiet voice trickled through the calm, and he barely turned his head to acknowledge it. Daniel tried to smile, but it faded too quickly. He was too tired to try and maintain it for appearances._

_"They don't know what to do with me," he murmured. "And I don't know what to do with myself."_

He couldn't go back.

Daniel opened his eyes. To his shock, the sun was slightly higher now, indicating more time had passed. Sitting straighter, Daniel stared at the sun peeking out from the treetops, his heart sinking as he discovered a flaw in his plan.

_Going home means back to whatever kind of life I had before._ Daniel lowered his head.

_"You've just been evicted from your apartment, your grants have run out, everything you owned are in those two bags."_

Langford's words came back to him. It ached still, the blunt reminder he was literally laughed out of academia.

_I could go off on a dig somewhere. Far away from here. Surely I must have saved some money during my two years with them._ Daniel doubted he would have stayed around otherwise.

_Just go home, pack up my bags and leave. I've done it before. I can do it again._

The revelation made his chest ache. It had always been that easy. So easy to just up and leave, find some remote dig out there in the corner of the planet and bury himself in someone else's past instead of his own.

Or—

_Taking a sniff, Daniel made a face. "I smell like a yak." He hurried to don the military issue socks. He had better go find Colonel O'Neill before the soldier came barging in, shooting anything on sight._

_Another slipped into the hut._

_"No, please." Daniel shook his head. He wasn't in the mood to be combed, brushed and groomed once more. He pasted a smile on his face and cast pleading eyes on the veiled woman. "No. I'm fine. I'm clean. I—" His voice trailed off when he saw the violet veils drop, revealing large dark eyes and rich brown hair. _

_It was her. The woman who gave him water before._

_Daniel realized his mouth was still hanging wide open. "Oh. Sorry, I thought you were…uh…" Words failed him as she silently stood there, lowered her eyes and began to pull back her wispy robe._

_Oh boy, he thought as the fabric fell away from her shoulders and revealed just how little she had on._

Daniel felt his neck flush at the memory. He could feel his heart thudding faster, thinking of her eyes looking at him as he went over to cover her up again. Shy eyes that held intelligence years of repression couldn't destroy.

His hands twitched. Daniel could almost still feel her hand in his as she took him to that hidden maze where the writings were. Where she taught him how to speak her language and he was able to understand the meanings behind her lyrical voice.

"Abydos," Daniel murmured, feeling something inside relax, his eyes crinkling up with the memory.

Grabbing a broken twig from the ground, Daniel hesitantly scratched out the symbols, hoping he could recall.

"Orion," Daniel whispered as he drew the symbol in the dirt. His memory flickered like a candle, the symbols fading in and out on him. He carefully wrote out the other ones. "Taurus…Serpens Caput…"

_Standing there in the harsh suns, his chest burning from the haphazard ride the beast had dragged him across the desert for, Daniel could barely breathe._

_Perhaps it was the suns. Maybe it was the ride he hadn't had a chance to recover from._

_Surely it wasn't because of this demure, shy young woman who came up, not even looking at him directly in the face, handing him the carved container. _

_It was the sweetest water he had ever tasted and Daniel wished he knew how to tell her before she bowed slightly and slipped back into the crowds._

"Capricorn," Daniel said determinedly. He pounded a fist against his knee. "Come on…come on…um…Monoceros…Sagittarius…and—"

Daniel drew the last symbol. The one Katherine Langford drove to the Park Plaza Hotel for.

"A little pyramid with the sun directly above it," Daniel whispered with a smile, a real smile for the first time since he woke up and found his memory scrambled. He dropped the branch and studied the seven symbols.

"Abydos," the archeologist murmured. His smile faltered. Did he really know what was there?

_Dark eyes looked back at him as he turned, no smile gracing her exotic face, but Daniel somehow knew it wasn't because she wasn't going to miss him._

_She was sad to see him go._

She was there. Sha're.

It really wasn't a difficult decision to make after all.

Getting up, Daniel eyed the last plateau with growing anticipation. It was like all his aches and pains were gone. All that was left was one more, then across the bridge, to the Stargate and—

Smiling slightly, Daniel reached up, ignoring the way his shoulders seem to groan with the activity and grabbed the first edge he could hold.

Daniel wasn't going to go home. He was going to go back to Abydos.

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_"Hey."_

_Sam didn't bother to look as she poked her food listlessly. Ignoring the visitor, she mentally told it to go away._

_"Um…I brought you some…uh…some books to read."_

_Glancing finally, she opened her mouth to tell him to go away. Leave her to her thoughts, leave her to try and forget that second voice named Jolinar echoing in her mind for what seemed like an eternity. When she lifted her eyes, to her surprise she saw Daniel sitting on a chair next to her hospital bed._

_Smiling as if he was unsure of his welcome, Daniel poked the stack of books on her tray, pushing her tray of food along with it._

_"I heard you were…ah…going to be here for a while…to…uh…"_

_"Tests." Her voice was still hoarse. Sam tried not to swallow, not to think of how her throat hurt when the larva entered through her mouth during the CPR attempt—_

_"Sam?"_

_Blinking, she saw Daniel studying her with concern. Sam smiled tightly. _

_"Tests, Daniel. They want to see what else remains if anything at all." _

_"The Tok'ra, you mean."_

_"Goa'uld, Daniel. It was a Goa'uld," Sam snapped at him, cringing inwardly at Daniel's awkward expression, but unable to stop herself. "It doesn't matter if they call themselves Tok'ra or whatever, they're still Goa'uld!"_

_"It saved your life. It died to save yours." Daniel looked down on his hands for a moment._

_At that moment, Sam hated her friend for reminding her of that one confusing fact._

_"It was a Goa'uld," she returned lamely. "I would have thought you of all people would be insisting that I was a Goa'uld! You shouldn't even be here! You should be wary of me. I was a Goa'uld, Daniel. Like the one who took Sh—" Sam's voice trailed away, her throat closing up in horror as it struck her what she had just flung at her friend._

_Daniel didn't look up, his hands twisting around each other like a strange weave, but she could hear his breathing pick up._

_Now she __**did**__ feel like a Goa'uld- a monster._

A monster. That's what I was_. Sam sighed, covering her face with her hands. _

_"Daniel. I am…I am so sorry. I didn't mean to—"_

_"You're wrong, you know."_

_The archeologist's quiet voice stopped her apology. Sam peered between her fingers, and saw Daniel lifted his head, a sad, tired smile on his lips. _

_"Yes, it was a Goa'uld larva," Daniel went on softly. "And yes, it was a Tok'ra. But even if it __**was**__ a Goa'uld. Even if it was…Apophis himself that was in you. What I would hate would be that. __**Not**__ you." His eyes seem to shimmer. "I can't hate you, Sam. You're my friend. As Sha're is my wife. Hating you, afraid of you is like being afraid of Sha're if I get her back."_

_"When," Sam corrected him. Daniel looked up at her. "When, Daniel. When you get her back."_

_The young man smiled gratefully. "Yeah. When."_

_Sam ducked her head. "I can't seem to shake this feeling that it's still in me."_

_"It was a Tok'ra, Sam. It wasn't—"_

_"That's not the point! I…" She leaned back into her pillows. "I know that. I sensed it, but I can't stop feeling like somehow I lost myself in there somewhere, watching myself do all those things, say all those things, and not feel responsible—" Sam gazed at Daniel thoughtfully._

_"When you get her back…would any of what she did matter?"_

_"No," Daniel answered immediately. "No. None of it. None of it will matter. It wasn't her."_

_"But—"_

_"It…wasn't…her…Sam." The archeologist lifted his chin a bit. "Neither were you Jolinar."_

_"I don't know whether to rejoice in my freedom or grieve for its sacrifice," she said softly._

_"Why can't you do both?"_

_Sam started, and glanced at Daniel who smiled. She thought about it and nodded, a smile on her own face now._

_"Thanks, Daniel."_

_Ignoring it, Daniel pushed the books towards her again. "Now, I wasn't sure what to get you. Um, I didn't think you would want to do more coloring with Cassie, but maybe a storybook or two when she comes visiting again? Jack wanted to…"_

"Captain Carter?"

Sam roused herself from her thoughts. It occurred to her she was staring at the same cave for the past ten minutes.

"Uh…no sign of him here," Sam called out to the Jaffa on the above level. She looked down below and shuddered, remembering the drop far too well.

"I too do not see Daniel Jackson where I am," Teal'c's voice said.

"Daniel!" Sam cupped her hands together and called.

No answer.

_Oh Daniel, where did you go?_ Sam thought as she stared mournfully at the landscape. _Why be afraid of us?_

_"You kids done here?" Colonel O'Neill poked his head into the lab. Daniel didn't even look up from his microscope. He just waved listlessly._

_"Just about—" The young man's voice trailed off as he saw something interesting. "Oh...look at that."_

_The colonel sighed, rolling his eyes. Sam grinned, took pity and answered for him._

_"We're almost done here, sir. SG-4 found some interesting sculptures Daniel wanted to check out."_

_"And I still say its not a thousand years," Daniel murmured. Sam whipped back her head._

_"Carbon dating—"_

_"Can be wrong at times," Daniel finished._

_"No way!" Sam waved her hands even though Daniel couldn't see her. "The radio carbon—"_

_Daniel still had his eyes glued to the scope as he fumbled for a notepad. "I told you, there's some dirt imbedded in the surface, a clay they must have used like paint. It is older than the sediment layer where this piece was found."_

_"It could have been dug up by them and set on their layer." Sam argued. She tried not to snicker as Jack groaned._

_"Hey. You know, kids. I just came down here to find out-"_

_"That's silly, Sam...where's my pen...Ow," Daniel winced as he found the Bunsen burner instead. "We should have used the Argon...Ow...stupid..." he muttered, wiping his hand on his shirt. _

_"And destroy more of this piece just to get another sample?" Sam gasped, pretending to not see O'Neill trying to interrupt._

_"You know...they're serving chicken down at the canteen. Really good—"_

_"It doesn't take a large...Ow!" Daniel yelped as he felt a hand tugged at his ear. The colonel stood there, exasperated, one hand on his lobe. "Jack!"_

_"It's ten o'clock. I've been checking to see if you guys were ready to go eat before we go over our agenda for tomorrow's mission. I've been coming up here since seven! I even had __**Teal'c**__ come for God's sake! I am hungry. Let's. Go!" He grumpily pulled Daniel along with him, Sam snickering behind._

_"Why aren't you dragging her by the ear?" Daniel complained, jerking away, but following nevertheless._

_Carter nearly burst out laughing as Daniel pretended to try and get back in the lab before Jack grabbed him by the arm._

_"Because __**Carter**__ can kick my butt if I do." Jack grinned crookedly at her from over his shoulder. "Now mush."_

_"Arf arf," Daniel muttered as Sam grinned, racing to catch up._

She really missed her friend.

Shaking her head, scolding herself for not concentrating, she took a deep breath and stuck her head in the next cave. Her face fell when she saw no one was inside. She had a wild hope she would find Daniel here, standing there, his gaze caught by the marvel of the paintings, the fear away from his eyes and posture.

No one was there.

Carter cupped her hands and called out again.

"Daniel!"


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note : Sorry guys. This one is a bit short due to the way the scene breaks are. Next one would be longer. Promise.

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Jack gritted his teeth as he pulled himself over onto the third level, cursing under his breath as he did. The slopes weren't particularly dangerously vertical, rather easy to grasp, but after two climbs, then having to hike through thorny vines and more goddamn trees, the leader was beginning to tire.

The colonel hoped he was wrong. And that Daniel decided to take the stairs.

_Please don't tell me he's climbing all this shit_, Jack eyed the last miniature cliff to reach the top, the bridge a few miles away. He drew his hands into fists and reopened them again, trying to get circulation back in his aching fingers. Massaging his forearm, Jack calculated the distance and frowned.

No sign. There was no sign of him. Jack didn't find one footprint. No scuff mark. Nothing.

_He was only gone a few minutes before us. He wouldn't have gotten ahead that far. Not with his concussion or sore ribs. _

The colonel stomped through the thick underbrush with a scowl, wishing he had a machete so he could hack through all that, chop the vines to itsy bits. He could feel his feet picking up the pace as he thought of his friend, that dazed look on his face as they all reintroduced themselves to him.

_Dammit, how could he forget about us? And how could he run off like that? What? He thought we were going to have him for lunch or something?_

Jack paused at a tree to wipe his brow. He could still hear Daniel's voice during that attack. Too busy to turn around to assess his condition, Jack only heard the tremor in his friend's voice, but it was enough to paint a picture in his mind.

He never heard that voice directed towards them like that before. Ever.

Jack heard his stern voice, the 'Doctor Jackson' lecture mode as he called it. He heard his soft pleading voice when the young man made their case to friend or potential foe. The determined one when he tried to tell Jack about Apophis' impeding attack on Earth. And Jack heard the heartbreak, barely audible, but sorely felt in the young man's voice whenever he spoke of memories.

But never that fear, that vibrating tremor under the tone. Never that.

_What the hell did he see? I wasn't like that before, was I?_

Eyeing the sun above, he swore when he realized it was going to be mid-day soon. He was wasting time when he should be making his pursuit. Pushing away from the tree, Jack hiked on.

_"My report said ten thousand."_

_The scientist, who looked more like a scraggly pup than this supposedly young prodigy, turned to look at him with a blank look on his face. But instead of demanding who he was, why he was standing there, Doctor Jackson went back to whispering excitedly to Barbara Shore._

_Jack clenched his jaw. He was going to have a talk with Doctor Langford about this. Hiring baby faced geniuses who didn't have enough sense to pay attention to authority. The kind who would be gawking at some dusty, goddamn 'fascinating' thing while all hell broke loose._

_Head in the clouds._

_They were a menace to any mission, one that could get them all killed. _

Jack skidded to a halt, groaning to himself. The carved stern face out of iron seemed to haunt him. Looking back, Jack wondered how Daniel put up with him. He never thought about that time much. It was too close to another time for him. Another time he wished he could forget as easily as Daniel did with them.

Not just a reminder of how different he was then but just how much pain he was avoiding since his kid's death.

Jack angrily thumped the sapling trunk next to him, making the leaves fluttering down.

That first mission, that disastrous trip through the Stargate. It was bad the moment he found out Jackson couldn't get his men home to when he encountered Ra. The only redeeming thing he gained out of the whole thing was he no longer cradled that damn nuclear bomb control like a tender lover.

_"You gonna be alright?" Jack asked. He arched an eyebrow when he saw Jackson shyly looking back to Sha're. The woman smiled broadly at him as she stood there, realizing Daniel wasn't going to leave. And Jack wasn't going to make him._

_"Yeah." Daniel turned back to Jack with a warm smile that made Jack blink in surprise. He could honestly believe Jackson would be okay here. He never saw the archeologist look more...at ease. _

_"And you?" the scientist boldly asked, his blue eyes studying him._

_Jack tilted his head up, considering. Then, he grinned crookedly. Home had a comforting feeling to it again. He found himself savoring the moment he could come through that gate and find Sara and be able to look at her in the eye once more._

_"Yeah." His smile grew wider. "I think so."_

Then it hit him.

_Daniel wasn't the only one who changed._ Jack looked down at himself as if for the first time.

_I did, too._

And suddenly, Jack realized he never told his friend this.

Jack hurried his steps. Pushing back the branches and vines, he nearly missed the scrap of cloth drifting by him, carried by the scented breeze. Reaching out with a hand, Jack caught it tightly in his fist. Opening his hand, Jack saw it was gauze. Bloodstains marred the former sterile white strip.

Daniel's.

"Daniel!" Jack called out, but got no reply.

_The guy ran out on you. You expect him to come, tongue out and tail wagging at your beck and call?_

"Jackson!" The colonel winced. Already, he wished he hadn't said that. It sounded…it sounded too much like himself two years ago. "Daniel!" Taking a step forward, Jack strained to see if he could spy the scientist lurking behind the trees. When he saw nothing, he threw the cloth down in disgust.

While it fell, his eyes automatically tracked it as it fluttered back down to his foot. Jack narrowed his eyes. The ground looked like something was scratched on it. He lifted his foot and saw he had stepped on part of it, smearing the top parts of whatever it was.

"What the hell?" The colonel muttered as he knelt. Carefully brushing away the gauze, Jack saw the thin grooved lines in the moist soil. He figured it couldn't have been too long ago, considering how the lines were still shaped.

The team leader noted a torn twig, cast off a few inches away, its tip dotted with dirt and knew these scrawlings were deliberate.

_Wait a minute._

Jack leaned closer, practically on top of the symbols now as he counted.

Seven.

He could see seven shapes.

A Stargate address.

A glimmer of hope burned in Jack's mind. Did that mean Daniel was remembering? The man resisted the urge to sigh out of relief as he studied the top parts, smeared and distorted thanks to his boot. Biting his lip, Jack grabbed the stick and tried retracing the faint lines that seemed to stem from the symbols.

"Okay, I know these." Jack muttered. He eyed the first one, the squarish looking infinity symbol. "Uh, uh…ah crap…oh…Orion!" He grinned triumphantly. _I knew they looked familiar. I __**told**__ them that telescope wasn't just for the neighbors. They—_

Jack's smile faded.

There was no Orion in the Stargate address for this planet.

Feeling around his jacket, the colonel pulled up the damp notepad. Carter and Teal'c had both scribbled down the address for home Daniel had deciphered before they split up. Flipping through the pages, Jack frantically searched for the latest entry for the address for home.

There.

It wasn't a match.

"What the—" Another symbol became familiar. Twisting his head a bit to see better, Jack could make out the shape of—

"Capricorn." Jack frowned.

"What the hell is this? Orion? Capricorn? Serpens Caput?" The man shoved the notebook back in his pocket. "What were you writing, Jackson? This isn't the address to go—"

Jack's mouth stopped moving as a memory teased his conscious. Looking down at the symbols again, Jack took the branch and tried tracing the rest of the symbols.

Taurus.

Monoceros.

Sagittarius.

And Earth.

He knew this address.

He knew this since he returned from the first mission. It was etched in his mind, the first thing that came up after months of living in an empty house, stripped of anything Sara owned.

Abydos.

"Oh God." Jack stood up in shock. "Abydos. Why the he…he wouldn't. He—"

_"After we go through the Chaapa-ai, you have to bury it like you did before."_

Daniel wrote out the symbols for Abydos. Not for Earth.

_"Then in one year…one year…you take the cover stone away. I will try and bring Sha're home on that day. But if I don't make it back…if I don't—"_

It wasn't an Abydosian year yet.

The Stargate.

The Stargate was still buried.

"Shit!" Jack blurted out abruptly and broke off in a run toward the last plateau.


	10. Chapter 10

Looking up with a slight frown, Daniel turned his head as he braced himself against the old tree.

"I could have sworn—"

Shrugging, he slid down to the ground, sitting on the large twisted exposed roots. Panting, dismayed at how tired he was feeling, Daniel eyed the way he came once more.

He thought he heard his name being called.

"Head," Daniel muttered, cradling his skull with one hand. It felt ten times the size and twenty times as heavy. Blearily, he eyed the distant forest, but couldn't discern just how much further before he would reach the bridge he'd seen when he was by the riverside. Tired, cold, Daniel wanted nothing more than to bury himself on that nearby pile of dead leaves and sleep.

A growl.

Gasping, he twisted around to look behind him, but all he saw was a blurry forest, wavering from mist and his own sight.

"Um…hello?" Daniel stood up, swaying as he did.

A tree rustled.

Daniel stared to his left.

"Uh…I don't…I don't mean you any harm."

Another growl. It sounded like it was to his right now.

Stumbling back, Daniel stared at the surrounding woods, wishing he had thought of taking a weapon with him. And then it occurred to him.

Everything had gone quiet.

_Okay, okay. It might not be what you think. You're stomping around this place pretty loud. The animals here might have been frightened off by your footsteps. That's all._

Another rustle.

_Then again, running would be a good option right now._

Daniel picked up a thick branch, feeling foolish, the weapon feeling woefully inept in his hands. Brandishing it like a club, he clutched it as he took another step.

Another rustle. And a soft voice.

Not daring to say a word, Daniel took a deep breath and edged away from where he had thought the voice was.

_"Teal'c—" He looked around, his arms full with the unconscious woman. More of the fur-clad men came closer._

_"Fire your weapon Daniel Jackson." The Jaffa said calmly as he fired his. "They are afraid of your loud weapons."_

_Daniel opened his mouth, wanting to say that he couldn't, not without needing him to put her down first. But he felt rough hands grabbing him, the woman he was trying to protect snatched away. Before he could call out, filthy hands, dirty faces were in front of him, harshly dragging him away. He kicked, he twisted but couldn't break free. A sharp blow to his head and his last thought was that he left Teal'c by himself there, alone-_

A hand grabbed him by the shoulder, and Daniel screamed, half disgusted his voice came out shrill, half out of his wits as he swung his weapon in hope to keep the distorted dirty faces from hurting him again.

A groan and the attacker was down, hand on head, and Daniel dropped the club, sickened with the act, but now trying to turn around and make a run for it. As he began to bolt, a hand grabbed him by the ankle, and he fell.

"No!" Daniel whipped out his fists, feeling flesh meet knuckles and another groan. Encouraged, he got up only to be tackled again. "No! Let go of me! Don't touch me!" Daniel kicked out furiously, finding it useless as his arms were jerked down, pinning them to his sides. Panic threatened to make him scream. Scream for help, but he didn't know who to call to.

"No!"

"Calm down—"

_O'Neill slammed into him, and they crashed into the shelves, supplies raining down on him, each impact as painful as the hands clutching him tightly._

_Dropping to the floor, Daniel struggled to break free, his voice strangled as he tried to scream at him to leave him alone. Pushing him away with all his strength, Daniel was dizzy with the effort. As his eyes cleared, he saw the dropped gun._

_And grabbed it._

"No!" Shoving the perpetrator away, the archeologist skimmed the dirt frantically for the weapon. Nothing. He had only imagined it. Useless anyway, Daniel grabbed the club again. "Keep away!"

"Are you crazy? It's me!" Jack O'Neill's red face was right in front of him. Surprise flickered in dark eyes as Daniel's hands tightened rather than loosened around the broken branch.

"You're not stopping me," Daniel panted, sitting in the dirt a few feet away. He carefully tried to stand up only to fall back down again, dizzy. He waved the club around, feeling foolish as he did. "Just…just keep away."

"Where do you think you're going?" O'Neill's voice was calm. Too calm.

Daniel didn't answer. Pressing hard against a tree, he forced himself up, swallowing as darkness seem to eat away at the edges of his vision.

_Not now_, Daniel told himself frantically. _Not now_.

Jack stared at the huddled form, back against rough bark, eyes wide and the makeshift club shaking in Daniel's grasp.

"S-stay away." Daniel waved the stick at Jack like it was a gun.

A chill ran down Jack's back. A gun.

It was like being back in a storage closet again, alarms screaming all around them, the light above flickering in a crazed frenzy.

Jack's throat seemed to close up, and he gaped at the archeologist for a moment. Then he took a deep breath and tried to edge forward, but when Daniel stiffened, he aborted that and stayed where he was.

"What?" Jack saw something flicker across Daniel's face. "What? Do you remember something?"

Daniel swallowed. "Stay away from me."

The older man lowered his voice, trying to soften his tone. "Daniel, we're your friends. We wouldn't hurt you."

The young man began to laugh. It sounded a bit hysterical.

"You think I don't remember?" Panic was beginning to make his voice crack, but at this point, Daniel didn't care. "I do…not all of it…but I remember-"

"What?" The colonel stayed where he was. "What do you remember?"

Biting down on his lower lip, the archeologist edged away, feeling very much like a cornered animal.

"Daniel—"

"You…you hit me!" The young man blurted out, hating how it sounded like a kid whining. "I-I saw you! You told me to stay away and you attacked me!" With that, the club went higher, blocking his face like a pathetic shield.

_Oh God_, Jack thought, dismayed as he realized what Daniel recalled. _Why that? Why not something good? Why did it have to be the one thing I can't even bring myself to think about?_

"You h-hit me…" The young man moaned softly, pressing the heel of his hand to his eyes. "You…you're acting all strange…Carter's eyes…" He didn't see Jack stiffen as he went on, his voice fading in and out.

_Damn_, Jack's chest tightened as words failed him. _Why is it we never remember the good first and let the bad haunt us forever day and night?_ He watched the pain of remembered hurts and despair play over again, but he knew…he **knew** it must have been far worse when Daniel had remembered them as his friends, as his family.

_Why couldn't he remember us as we are now?_

"And that Teal'c…I saw him…he shot me…I…he was going to kill us all…and you…you…" Daniel lifted his head, his eyes utterly confused, his hand trembling as it went back to hold on to the club. He sounded far away, his voice dropping to a mumble. "I don't understand this…God, my head hurts…I don't…you…but you're now…I just don't understand…"

_"I can help these people!" Jack shouted desperately as the rest of the Jaffa marched up the steps, the prisoners behind him screaming in their own languages. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Carter yanking Daniel close to the ground, and he knew it wouldn't be enough._

_Teal'c spun around with his staff weapon, and Jack felt a cold knot in his gut. Was he going to be the first to die after all? Had his instincts been that wrong?_

_"Many before have said this," the Jaffa yelled back, his weapon aimed right at Jack._

_The colonel stared at the weapon and dully he wondered if the pain was quick. Maybe he should have asked Daniel before after Ra's death._

Jack winced, drawing an image of what Daniel might be talking about. Even he felt his heart hammering, wondering if he had read Teal'c wrong. But he was proven his gut feeling correct and he hoped Daniel's instincts were telling him the same.

Jack wasn't going to attack him here. There was no staff weapon aimed at him.

"We're not the enemy," the colonel said quietly.

"So trying to kill me was really some sort of macho male initiation rite?" Daniel laughed bitterly. "Sorry, I went through enough of those as a kid."

"We weren't trying to kill you Daniel." Jack was trying very hard to remain calm. "Those things—"

"Throwing my books down the dunes…" Daniel didn't sound like he heard him. "Not even letting me have a chance to find the seventh sy…oh God…" His eyes widen with horror. "You…you had a bomb! You were going to blow that place up!" The young man pressed back further against the tree.

_"What is that?" Daniel breathed as the two children carried the litter over to them in front of the throne. When the colonel didn't answer, he drew his own conclusion._

_"My God…that's a bomb isn't it?" The archeologist was shocked, and for a moment, he seemed to forget the precarious position they were in. "What were you going to do with it? Why did you come here in the first place?"_

Jack's face darkened, and Daniel cringed. When the soldier saw this, he tried to smile reassuringly, but it felt like it was cracking his face open instead.

"You…you…"

"Daniel. Back then, I—" Jack leaned closer.

"No! Keep back!" The archeologist paled further. It looked like he thought Jack was going to pounce on him. Jack felt bile rise up his throat. Surely Daniel didn't think this way on the first mission did he?

But then, Jack didn't really show any restraint as he beat Daniel to the ground when he had the Touched virus. Could he really blame his friend's doubt?

"I'm not going to hurt you—"

"I said stay back!"

Daniel's teeth chattered, and Jack realized the young man was going into some sort of shock. He tried coming closer, only to get warned off by the makeshift weapon. Normally, Jack wouldn't have been pushed back by it. He could easily go around that arm and pin a headlock on Daniel, forcing him to drop the weapon. His fist clenched, but when he saw Daniel pale as if his face wasn't white enough already, he loosened it before even being aware he did.

_"I accept." The gruff prison leader snarled. Abruptly, he grabbed Daniel from behind, thick hairy arm wrapping around the young man's waist, lifting him off the ground a few inches before effectively snaking an arm around the throat and cutting off his air._

_No! This was the very thing Jack feared could happen. Daniel could be so blind to the harsh realities of a place like this, spurred to action only to help and earning the attentions of the last person Jack wanted near him. He took a step forward and tried to race over there when something thin and tight pulled around his neck, reining him in._

_No! Jack furiously tried to twist away, seeing Daniel flailing out of the corner of his eye. He heard Carter yelling for Teal'c and knew it would be too late. Too late. Jack could feel black edges eating greedily away around his awareness, but he refused to die. He couldn't. It was not allowed. He wasn't going to see Daniel die. That was __**not**__ going to be the last thing he saw before his own death. __**No one**__ on his team was going to die here._

No, Jack **could** have taken the weapon but not that way. He suspected the very act would sicken him to the core. It reminded him too much having to watch that bastard do it to his friend, and he'd be damned if he was going to stoop to that level. And it wouldn't really make a very big impression on the man right now. But a few days ago, he would have thought just **saying**, just telling his friend to lower the gun—

_"What are you going to do?" He stared at the pale, sweaty face rather than at the gun pointed at him. He ignored the trembling barrel, the hands clutching the handle with a double fist and just looked at the terror on Daniel Jackson's face._

_"You want to kill me?" _

_Daniel almost shook his head, but the tremors in his body made it impossible to tell. But Jack thought he saw doubt in the eyes, eyes too old for a face that young. How did those eyes get so old, so sad, and so thoughtful? Even now, through all the pain of the withdrawal, Jack saw sadness._

_"I know what this is…" Jack's own voice was threatening to crack. God, the memories. Even now, it made him feel nauseous to realize he truly did know what this was. "I know what's this like…" Daniel should never have had to know this feeling._

_"We can get through this." Jack saw the gun waver, the hands clutching it tighter, then loosening, then—_

_Tears._

_It occurred to Jack he never really saw his friend cry. Even when he was saying goodbye to the Abydosians, even when the Keeper sent him to Daniel's nightmare. Never. And it hurt him more than anything. Jack didn't even realize that. He didn't even notice he was over there, taking the gun carefully away from a weak grasp as he pulled Daniel in as tight as possible, whispering all sorts of promises as he rocked his friend gently as he would a child._

_This was __**never**__ going to happen again._

No. Lower his weapon…there was no gun here. There was no gun pointed at him. This should be easy. Jack should be able to tell Daniel, tell him there was no one here to hurt him. Saying it…Saying it should have been enough. Daniel should have been able to read what was on his face and trust it immediately. That damn club should be on the ground right now. Jack shouldn't be contemplating how to disarm his friend.

A shuffle and Jack looked up and saw Daniel edging closer and closer to the direction where the bridge was. He swallowed, unsure of what to do.

"H-how about," the colonel croaked, "we start over?" He stuck out his hand, grinning crookedly. "Hey…name's Jack O'Neill. How ya doing?"

Daniel stared at him as if he'd gone mad. The wooden stick shook in his hands. Swallowing visibly, the man refused to take Jack's hand.

"What do you want from me?" The archeologist's voice cracked. He swallowed again, trying to control himself. "What game are you playing?"

"No game." Jack kept his hand out determinedly.

"No…I…this is too much…you're saying one thing…but I see another…" Daniel's mouth hardened.

"That stuff...what you're remembering..." Jack began.

"You're not going to try and tell me it wasn't real, are you?" He glared at Jack. "I know what I saw. They happened!"

The colonel's chest tightened. Jack nodded, his voice hoarse. "Sometimes, I wish they didn't, but yeah...you're right...they did."

Daniel looked at Jack, his mouth slightly open, nothing coming out.

"Daniel..." Jack slowly turned up his palms to show nothing in them. He leaned forward, trying to get closer, but each time he tried, Daniel kept retreating back to maintain what he thought was a safe distance. It made Jack's eyes burn.

"You said...you said you saw me hit you...is that right?"

Not knowing what to make of this, Daniel just nodded.

"That...that was me...but it wasn't!" Jack added hastily when Daniel's club rose as the man sat up in alarm. "I was...was under the influence then."

"What?" Daniel's voice was soft, but Jack could hear the shock, the disbelief.

"We were at...this planet called P3X-797. Do you remember?" Jack's shoulders slumped when Daniel shook his head again. "It was on the dark side of the planet. There were these...people who got us sick...made us..." Jack looked away, his eyes bleak with the memory. "Made us crazy...well...maybe not crazy, but definitely dangerous." He turned back towards his friend. "You were unfortunate enough to be in my face when I got infected with the virus, and I went postal."

"So...you're saying...this was because of some...f-flu bug?" Daniel's voice stammered. His eyes narrowed. The club came closer to Daniel in a protective stance. "I don't believe you."

"I have no reason to lie."

"You just want me to not escape again," Daniel accused, drawing closer within himself.

Jack snorted. "So I drag my ass all the way up here, risk breaking my neck so I can recapture you just to beat you up all over again?" He grew sad. "Is that what you think?"

Daniel's hold on the wooden weapon wavered. "I-I don't know..."

The colonel's eyes softened. "Daniel...we could have done that any time since you woke up. We wouldn't have needed to wait or anything. You have to believe us. What you saw...there's a whole story behind it, but I swear to you...I would cut my goddamn arm off before I let something like that happen to you again. We're not here to hurt you. Just the opposite. We want to help you."

"H-help me?"

Jack's breath caught at the small voice. He didn't know if Daniel was just repeating his words or if it was a plea. He coughed and tried to smile.

"We will, Daniel. Let's get you home and—" Jack stopped when he saw Daniel's body stiffen.

"I'm going back." The archeologist's chin stuck out stubbornly.

"To Abydos?" Jack said quietly.

Daniel stopped.

The older man was looking at him sadly. Daniel nearly dropped his club at the sight. But he steeled himself and feebly waved it in front of him, his eyes wandering to the gun holstered in O'Neill's hip sheath.

"You can't go back there."

"I c-can't go back home either," Daniel stammered as he edged away. He wondered just how far he could get before O'Neill decided to shoot. He could still see the colonel's rage, fists pounding him from all sides, kicking him, not caring if he slammed into the monitors.

"You can't."

"You can't stop me." Daniel's voice was louder, firm. His eyes…his eyes were hopeful. So hopeful as if Abydos was the one true salvation left.

"Daniel, you can't go back!" Jack's voice rose before he could stop himself. The archeologist stiffened. Calming down, Jack ran a hand through his hair.

"Look, you can't go back now, okay?" O'Neill's heart sank as Daniel shook his head. "There's nothing for you there."

"She's there." Daniel didn't say her name, but his eyes softened, and Jack knew. He knew whose name was barely on his friend's lips. The same name Daniel never could say without that haunted loss brimming in his eyes. The older man felt sick as he could see the hope bringing Daniel's shoulders higher, the voice more resolute. His throat went dry, tight.

"I can go back to her."

Jack hated himself for saying it. "No you can't," he grated out.

Daniel glared at him. "I am!"

"You can't!" Jack lurched up to his feet.

Daniel started. "You stay away!" He threw the club at Jack. As the colonel ducked to avoid the flying object, Daniel spun around to run. Jack swore softly, racing after him, grabbing him mid-waist. The two men toppled to the hard ground.

"No!" Daniel twisted, fists flying, hitting everywhere he could, but they barely glanced off Jack and the colonel nearly dodged most of them.

"Daniel! Listen to me!"

"Get away!" A solid punch to Jack's jaw snapped his head back. Instinct made him grip tighter and Daniel cried out in pain.

_Ah Christ, I'm sorry_. He kept his hold on Daniel's wrists. "You can't go back!"  
"Damn you! Why are you doing this?"

Jack shook him. He couldn't stop himself. "Will you listen to me for God's sake? You can't go back there! You'll be dead before you—"

The young man kicked out viciously. "Are you threatening me?"

"I'm trying to warn you! You'll never make it through! They have the Stargate blocked—"

"You're lying!" Daniel screamed, trying to throw the colonel off him.

"Why the hell would I lie about that?" Jack was practically screaming. "You can't go back!"

"Why the hell n—

"Because she's not there!"

Daniel stilled.

_Oh shit. Shit shit shit. Great going, O'Neill. Real tactful._

"I- don't understand." Blue eyes looked at Jack, confused, dismayed. It was like looking at them the first time he realized Sha're was gone after running back into the Stargate chamber in Abydos.

Jack didn't let go, but he did ease his grip. "She's not there, Daniel. She's not. You stayed there about a year with her."

"A year?" Hope raised Daniel's glance up to Jack, and the older man nearly cringed.

"Yeah, but—" Jack's voice broke off when he heard a roar. "Shit!" Reaching forward, Jack grabbed Daniel by the arm.

Daniel, startled, wasn't able to break free. He jerked, alarmed when he heard the second roar.

"What the hell was that?" Daniel's eyes were huge circles.

"That," Jack stated grimly, "is one major pain in the butt."

Trees whipped side to side on the left. Jack jerked his head towards it and swore softly. He yanked Daniel to his feet, tightening his grip when the man wavered.

"Come on!" Jack yelled, half dragging the young man along with him. Daniel stumbled, still uncertain as he turned his head. Jack skidded abruptly to a halt, and he slammed into his back.

"C-colonel? What?"

"They hunt in numbers," Jack said hoarsely. "His pal is over there."

Looking around the soldier, Daniel paled when he saw the rustling a few feet away from them. "Oh."

"Crap." Jack pulled out his gun.

_"Jack!" Daniel shouted as he saw the pair of guards approaching the golden corridors. Knowing he couldn't let them pass, he fired in their general direction, another gun in his other hand. He felt strange, the double weapons recoiling back so abruptly he almost staggered back. _

Daniel gaped at the gun.

_"Take this," the colonel tossed the sidearm to him as they ran in the Stargate chamber. O'Neill pointed to the open doorway with a jerk. "Make sure no one comes through that door." The soldier ran up to their rover, pulling out some sort of console._

_"What are you doing?" Daniel asked as his fingers curled around the weapon, the heavy weight odd in his palm._

Jack glared at Daniel when the young man stiffened at the sight. Scowling at his own hand, the colonel lowered the weapon away from Daniel's sight.

"Calm down, Danny." Jack didn't see Daniel blink at the nickname used. "I'm not going to shoot you. You rile me up enough times to make my hair go white, but it's never come to that yet. This sweet gift is for our furry hosts out there." He pulled out his hunting knife and shoved it in Daniel's hands. "Take this. Get up in those trees, as high as possible."

Daniel stared at the knife, then at the direction of the trees.

The soldier didn't have time for this. He gave Daniel a shove towards a sturdy tree. "Go. Now." When he saw the trees move again, he realized they were being surrounded.

Daniel seemed to recover from his shock and started heading for one of the thicker trees when he heard a roar that sounded like it came from all sides. A bellow vibrated throughout the forest, startling small birds. The flighty creatures flew off just as the bushes in front of Jack disintegrated under the beast's feet.

"Go, go, go!" Jack shouted as he fired off a shot. The creature cringed, falling back. He could hear Daniel running. The soldier shot one more bullet when he saw the beast twitch before stilling.

Another roar.

"Colonel!"


	11. Chapter 11

Jack didn't dare turn his head, but he heard Daniel's gasp as the second animal crashed through from behind, cutting Daniel off from the thicker timber. The archeologist stared at the newest arrival before he spun around and went up the closest tree. Awkwardly, Daniel latched on to the first limb he could reach, the hunting knife tumbling out of his grasp. The colonel followed suit, racing for the tree next to the scientist's just as the monster flanked the pair. Jack nearly missed having his boot snapped off by one of them as he heaved up to the next branch and swung his legs over it with a gasp.

The injured one stirred with a growl, its companion ignoring him as it hungrily snapped its jaws under Daniel's tree. The scientist yelped, pulling his legs higher as it raked the trunk of the tree with its razor sharp claws.

Jack swore softly, realizing he had maybe only five good shots left. Sitting on a branch a few feet higher than the beast could reach, Jack was safe enough until reinforcements came.

Daniel on the other hand—

The tree the young man was perched on could have been regarded as a sapling, thin and wiry, shaking as the monster banged on the trunk, rocking the tree to its very root. Jack wondered if he dared empty his gun on that one. Maybe the injuries the other sustained would be enough to slow it down.

Crack.

Jack focused on Daniel's haven, eyes wide as he heard the telltale crack. The colonel couldn't tell where it was from, but he suspected the tree couldn't withstand the abuse any longer.

"Daniel!"

The young man barely turned his head, eyes pinned to the black furry muzzle snapping inches away.

"That tree isn't going to hold!" Jack sat up, carefully wrapping one arm around the thick trunk on his end, reaching out his other hand towards Daniel. They were only maybe a foot apart.

"You're going to have to jump!"

"What?" Daniel's eyes snapped forward now.

"That tree isn't going to—"

Another crack.

Daniel looked up at the branches above. The monster below seemed to realize its meal could be his any minute and renewed its attack on the tree.

"Piece of—" Jack whipped out his gun as he heard his friend gasp, the tree rocking more violently now. "Leave him alone!" The colonel fired one shot, hitting its massive shoulder.

It screamed.

"Colonel!" Daniel gritted his teeth as he held on tight. "I don't t-think it was too h-happy about t-that!" The tree nearly bent forward now as the animal howled in pain. Jack could see strips of bark shedding like strange blood onto the floor.

"Jump!" Jack stretched out his hand again. "I'll catch you!"

"You're crazy!" Daniel yelled back, refusing to budge.

"I'll catch you. Trust me!"

"Trust you?" The young man stared at Jack with disbelief. "**Trust** you?"

"Whatever you're remembering!" Jack was practically screaming now, even louder than the beast below. "It isn't the whole story! A few days ago, you would have taken my hand!"

Daniel closed his eyes, wrapping his arms tighter around the trunk.

Crack.

Jack shook his hand frantically. The archeologist had his legs hooked around the limb now, holding on for dear life, but Jack could see it wasn't going to stay that way for long. Yet Daniel wasn't moving. He didn't even look over to Jack. The colonel wanted to scream. Empty his gun on the monster who was threatening his friend. Anything but see his friend refuse to take his hand simply because he didn't trust him.

Jack O'Neill never thought he would see this day.

"Goddamn it, Jackson! Do I have to make it a freaking order? Jump!"

"No," Daniel whispered. He could see himself plunging down to the ground, being torn apart by those teeth. His hands curled tighter.

Crack.

_Come on, come on, come on! Take my hand. __**Please.**__ I won't ask for anything else. Just let him take my goddamn hand! Make him find some part of what he was before that used to have him take my hand without question!_

Jack wished fervently he could reach over and grab his friend by the scruff of the neck. Just yank him over to the tree, grab onto him tightly and make sure the young man stayed where he was safe by his side.

"Daniel!"

_The smoke was intense, curling like ribbons around him. He could feel the colonel standing beside him, his assault rifle up, barely audible breathing even paced. _

_Another blast._

_Daniel flinched as he saw one of the soldiers. He thought it was Brown, flying across the chamber, slamming against the stone walls. Daniel felt nauseous seeing them being cast aside like rag dolls yet he couldn't stop himself from watching. He was riveted to the dog head shaped shadow stretching towards Brown's body, a long staff that seemed to turn and—_

_"Watch it!" O'Neill jerked Daniel closer, just as a blast shattered thick marble inches from where his face was before._

"Daniel!"

Colonel O'Neill saved his life that day.

_"Are you crazy?" Jack's voice sounded shocked as the bullet shattered the ceiling lights above. "Are you trying to kill me?"_

_Daniel couldn't stop himself from shaking. "You're trying to kill me!"_

_"Doc says you're getting better."_

_"You're lying!" He knew the colonel had to be lying. The older man didn't feel every bone vibrating with electricity, his skin itching like a thousand insects biting and pinching him, his head pounding like—_

Crack.

Daniel lifted his head, gaping as he saw a fine line snaking around the bark he was leaning against. Mouth partly opened, he turned towards O'Neill.

Wide-eyed panic, barely suppressed, Jack's hand was still extended. He was barely on the tree branch, the strain of holding still visible in the bulging veins in his neck. The colonel shook his hand towards him, silently begging him to…to…

Trust him.

Daniel didn't know what to do.

_"Hey." A quiet voice trickled through the calm, and he barely turned his head to acknowledge it. Daniel tried to smile, but it faded too quickly. He was too tired to try and maintain it for appearances._

_"They don't know what to do with me," Daniel murmured. "And I don't know what to do with myself." _

_Shoulders slumping, he waited for the colonel to say something or leave. When he realized no footsteps walked away, he tilted his head and saw Jack looking at him. Swallowing, Daniel couldn't bring himself to see if there was pity in the colonel's eyes so he shrugged halfheartedly and looked back at the empty halls._

_"Come on." A friendly tap on shoulder made him look up again. O'Neill didn't even wait for a response. He waved impatiently towards the elevators._

_Daniel stared at Jack for a moment and wondered what to make of it. But he was too tired to care and slowly went after him. As the elevators slide closed behind him. To Daniel's surprise, he felt a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder, but it was gone so fast, he must have been mistaken._

Daniel reached out his hand.

The young man took a deep breath and loosened his right hand from the branches, shuffling over, using his legs. The creature below still howled and shook the trunk harder just as Daniel leaped. Daniel was tempted to shut his eyes, but he glued his gaze on Jack, mentally wondering about his choice, silently asking the colonel not to miss.

Jack caught the hand.

He grabbed the left wrist tightly, his grip painfully strong, but Daniel didn't complain. The young man felt the momentum of his fall jerk to a halt, the colonel grunting at the weight. Daniel winced as he felt himself slam into the tree Jack was on.

The animal was none too happy about its lost meal, dropping to all fours and charged to the new target.

"Shit!" Jack shouted as he felt the branch heave. He nearly slipped off as he tried to pull Daniel up. Arms straining, quivering under the weight, Jack wrapped his legs around the tree branch and moved his other arm to grab Daniel's wrist. Daniel tried to grab onto something but failed.

His hand was slipping.

"Hold…on." Jack grated out as he moved his other hand to try grab Daniel's flailing one, his grip on the left hand loosening. "Give…give me your other hand."

Daniel didn't speak. He could feel himself swinging. He tried to catch something, anything to use as a foothold, but his feet dangled, enticing the beast below.

_"Daniel! Let go of my hand!"_

_The colonel was slipping from his grasp, the monster clinging to his backpack, dragging him down the crevice. Daniel gritted his teeth, his other hand clawing the loose dirt and rubble, the edge of the stairs digging into his ribs. _

_"Let go! I'm pulling you down with me!"_

With a gasp, Daniel looked up at Jack, an odd sort of déjà vu coming over him. He could see the colonel's red face, sweat trickling down and hitting his. He was going to fall as well.

_"Let go! I'm pulling you down with me!"_

"Colonel—"

Jack must have read something on his face as the eyes drifted to where their hands were, and he could feel the man no longer trying to struggle. "Forget it!" he barked as he squeezed harder on the hand in his. His other waved in front of him. "I'm not letting go!"

Surprise and relief was readable on Daniel's face, and Jack snarled at it, upset at the young man's surprise. Rather than dwell on it, the colonel heaved, trying to pull him up instead.

Daniel twisted, trying to grab the closest branch, his right hand open wide to reach when the beast screamed below and slammed head first into the tree.

And Daniel fell.

"No!" Jack's scream was audible even as Daniel felt his body slam to the ground with a whoosh. Stunned, breathless, the young man barely heard four shots being fired on the animal, jerking it further and further away from him. The archeologist lifted his head weakly and gulped when he saw the creature still standing, high on its hind legs, furious. White froth dribbled from huge fangs as it howled, its wide chest practically vibrating from its own bellow.

He was going to die.

Daniel could only lie there, staring at the monster that was soon to be his killer. He'd thought his life would be flashing before his eyes.

But all he saw was Jack O'Neill jumping down from the tree right in front of him.

"You okay?" The colonel asked gruffly, not bothering to turn around.

Daniel nodded, then realized Jack couldn't see him and managed a hoarse "F-fine."

"Get back in that tree, Daniel. Quick, before that damn thing decides to have both of us for lunch," Jack ordered as he held his gun at the beast.

"B-but—"

"Go!" O'Neill hissed, but it might as well have been a shout. Daniel flinched, but got up shakily, one hand on his own chest. The forest zoomed in and out. The tree was close then it was far.

"Daniel?" Jack called out worriedly as he heard a thump when Daniel fell against the trunk heavily.

"I—" Daniel swallowed as the ground seem to rise up on him. He wasn't even aware he was keeling over until his cheek scraped along the rough bark, and his knees slammed to the ground.

"Daniel!" Jack made the mistake of turning around.

Sensing distraction, the beast lurched forward.

"Oh no you don't!" Jack whipped around and pulled the trigger.

Click.

"Shit!" His gun was empty.

Jack felt something ram into his stomach as the animal charged like a bull. Air rushed out of him as he fell back, crashing against the destroyed tree. He vaguely heard Daniel cry out. Frantically, he searched the dirt, one hand pressing against the muzzle eager to devour him. Jack found the discarded knife in time to block the razor sharp claws from slashing his face. He found himself getting a good look at the monster's tonsils, his backpack elevating him too close for his liking.

The beast struggled, trying to snap the blade blocking its way to the human's throat. Jack gritted his teeth as fangs scraped along his gloves, tearing the material to his palms. Half crazed with pain, the animal just kept twisting its head, trying to get closer, getting its jaw cut for its efforts. Enraged, it slammed its head against Jack's chest. Sensing flesh beneath fabric, it roared and sank its teeth into the soldier as he tried to move.

"Colonel!" Daniel stumbled.

"Get…back!" Jack gritted his teeth, pulling his knees to his chest and trying to push it back. The beast was heavy, pressing its lumberous weight against his until he felt himself being smashed harder into the dirt. It snarled, mouth full of his Kevlar vest, snapping and tearing it apart, thinking it was a body it was snacking on. It tilted its head up and spat out the black material, furious when it discovered that it wasn't. "Get up there…Argh!" Jack felt a paw swipe at him, and he tried rolling away, but felt a hot thin line of agony in his left shoulder, making his fingers uncurl and dropped the knife.

"Colonel!" Daniel grabbed the stick he dropped before and staggered over to them. With a heave, he slammed it down on the beast's back.

The stick broke.

"Get out of here!" Jack roared, trying once more to kick it off him. He could feel the exposed roots digging at his spine as he was slowly crushed by its weight.

Daniel gaped at the soldier, a small mean voice in his head told him here was his chance.

_"Daniel! Let go of my hand!"_

_"Let go! I'm pulling you down with me!"_

Daniel remembered the dagger Jack handed him.

_"Come on." A friendly tap on shoulder made him look up again. O'Neill didn't even wait for a response. He waved impatiently towards the elevators._

_Daniel stared at Jack for a moment and wondered what to make of it. But he was too tired to care and slowly went after him. As the elevators slid closed behind him, to Daniel's surprise, he felt a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder, but it was gone so fast he must have been mistaken._

This wasn't the Colonel O'Neill he knew before.

Daniel looked around for the knife.

There.

Tripping, running, Daniel clutched the blade with both hands and he lurched up dizzy. The ground tilted, his legs refusing to cooperate, knees threatening to buckle abruptly under him. Frustrated, Daniel cried out as he felt himself banging against the trees, their location flickering cruelly in front of his sight.

The scene wavered in and out, and every instinct screamed at him to leave. Daniel couldn't concentrate on standing upright.

So it was a surprise when he bumped into something furry.

Jumping back at first, Daniel panted, the creature barely tossing a swipe at his head, dismissing the archeologist as a non-threat. Before he could lose his courage, Daniel raised the dagger high.

And slammed it into its back hilt deep.

High pitched screaming made the hair in the back of Daniel's neck rise. The beast rose on two legs, paws up in the air, then around its body as it raked itself trying to get it out. Daniel grunted as a huge limb slammed into his side, sending him crashing to the ground. Winded, he could only lay there panting.

"Daniel!" Jack lurched to his feet, one hand on his bleeding shoulder. He dodged an arm only to fall back down when the animal bumped into him during its writhing.

The archeologist sat up alarmed, seeing the beast standing over Jack. The colonel stared back impassively, his mouth a thin grim line.

Daniel stumbled forward, ruthlessly yanked out the dagger and stabbed a higher spot.

The animal shouted, its mouth open wide, fur trembling down its back. It wrenched free from Daniel's blade, and the scientist, white faced, sliced one more time.

Jack watched, unable to move, the monster towering over him like a Goliath. He flinched as feet kicked dirt, paws flailing. He heard Daniel cry out and looked up.

Daniel had his eyes shut, double fists over the hilt, as he pulled the dagger out and thrust down again.

And again.

"Let go!" Jack shouted, rising on wobbly legs. He yanked Daniel away as the creature bumped into the nearby trees, weaving in a bizarre circle, out of its mind with pain.

"It…it's still…oh my God…" Daniel whispered, not even realizing he was leaning heavily on the colonel. "I…"

Jack darted a concerned look at to the young man, noting for the first time the blood masking part of the ashen face, an ugly bruise marring the other half across his cheek.

"Come on, we better get—"

The animal stopped screaming.

Jack froze, one arm around Daniel's waist, he himself leaning crookedly. He looked right at the animal's dark eyes and knew the beast wasn't done.

It charged.

"Crap!" Jack hauled Daniel up straighter, and the two staggered across the clearing, towards the direction of the bridge. But Jack tripped over the first fallen beast, and they fell face first into the dirt.

Dazed, Daniel flipped over and garbled a strangled noise out when he saw the sunlight literally gone as the creature leaped at them.

Jack shouted and threw himself over Daniel, shielding him with his body.

"No—" Daniel breathed. His breath caught when he saw the determined look on the colonel's face as the man braced himself for a blow.

_"She's out there somewhere, Jack."_

_"So is Skaara."_

_"What do we do?"_

_"Find them."_

He didn't understand. Why was the soldier doing this?

It was getting closer, almost in a comical slow motion. Even its rage sounded distorted, a different roar filling his mind and ears. Everything seemed to slow down as his mind raced.

_"You just stay away from her." Jack's face burned with rage as he grabbed him by the shirt._

This man…

_"The colonel said some really nice things."_

_"He did…he did?" Daniel gaped at Jack who paused by the DHD. _

_"Hey, what can I say? I have a soft heart when it comes to eulogies." The colonel shrugged and tried to smile casually, but there was a haunted look in his eyes. Daniel felt his face flush when Carter's hand squeezed his shoulder tightly as Jack smiled broader._

_"Good to have you back, Daniel."_

He truly didn't understand.

_"Well, we'd have a much better chance now than we would trying to stop an overwhelming onslaught later." Daniel's eyes glazed over, still remembering hearing the causalities, the disbelief when Air Force One went down. He took a deep shuddering breath and looked over to Jack in silent pleading. The colonel was stone faced._

Who was this man?

_Teal'c agreed. "If the coordinates are for a Goa'uld world which is not on the Abydos cartouche, the Goa'uld will most likely not expect us. I believe a medical attack could be successful."_

_"Surgical attack, Teal'c. It's called a surgical attack, and I'd feel like an idiot." The colonel sighed. Carter blinked._

_"Sir?" _

_"I was answering Daniel's question." The man looked at Daniel finally, his jaw set. "If we don't do something now and they do attack later, I'll feel like an idiot." He smiled grimly at Daniel's grateful look. "We go."_

_Daniel breathed a sigh of relief. As long as Jack believed him, there was still a chance. _

This man was not the man he knew on that first mission.

O'Neill held fast and grunted as the animal slammed into them. Daniel gasped at the added weight, but the colonel refused to leave, or escape. Jack cursed harshly, kicking at the animal as it, half-weak from pain and blood loss, drunkenly tried to claw him. The animal raked the soldier's back, still covered with the backpack, but it was shredding right before Daniel's eyes and would soon reach tender vulnerable flesh.

Why was he doing this?

**No one** ever gave a shit about Daniel Jackson.

Anyone who did was dead.

Buried.

No one cared if he was dead or alive.

No one.

_The rifle lowered as his arm lost the strength to keep it up._

_"Daniel!" Jack darted a look down the hallway before whipping back towards him. Crouching down next to him, Jack gave a quick glance at the damage, shoving his own weapon angrily into his jacket. "Dammit!"_

_"Go…get out of here," Daniel gasped out, his eyes watering from the reek of his own scorched flesh. Everything felt inflamed. He feebly tried to push Jack's examining hands away._

_"I am not leaving you behind!" The colonel tried to haul Daniel up, and the young man wanted him to be able to, but he knew the cost wasn't worth it. _

Why was Colonel Jack O'Neill concerned?

"Why?" Daniel croaked out, his eyes riveted to the soldier now even as the man looked towards the beast.

The animal jerked back as something struck it from the side. A low whine of a staff weapon sailed from a distance and struck the beast again.

Jack sighed in relief as he heard Teal'c's shout and missed Daniel's question.

"I don't understand."

Turning back, looking down, Jack saw Daniel's eyes were unfocused. He gently tapped the young man's cheek.

Confused, bewildered blue eyes glued to Jack and Daniel whispered. "Why…**who** are you?"

Daniel's eyes rolled back as he passed out.

"Colonel!" Carter ran up to them, breathless. "We heard shots fired. Are you all right?"

Jack shook his head, spots dancing in front of him to block his view of Daniel. He fumbled around the collar and felt for a pulse, nearly sagging in relief when he felt a good steady beat.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c stood over them as Carter helped pull Jack off Daniel, the colonel's reserves spent. The soldier nearly dropped to his knees, gasping.

"You are bleeding," the Jaffa stated the obvious.

"You guys…" Jack panted, "have **got** to work…on your timing…here…" With that, he fell forward to the ground before any of them could catch him.


	12. Chapter 12

_"He didn't have a choice, you know."_

_Sam looked up and saw Daniel standing there, paper cup of punch in his hands. She nodded absently, her eyes wandering over to said colonel who was yoking it up with a few fellow soldiers in celebration. The canteen was noisy with the impromptu party going on. Even General Hammond spared a moment after his report to the President to join them in a cup of punch, giving a few back pounding pats to several of his men._

_"I know." She swallowed. She wasn't there to see it, but she saw the colonel's face as he went back in and said Daniel wasn't coming with them. She saw the stained gloves and knew the blood was Daniel's._

_"There was too much at stake." Daniel smiled sadly, swishing his cup slowly before taking a sip. "I told him to go."_

_"I was surprised he did," Sam admitted finally, her eyes on the colonel who was now telling Teal'c something, but the Jaffa frowned when he didn't understand. Laughter floated over to their side of the canteen._

_"He wasn't going to." Daniel sighed. "But he knew the choices. I would have slowed you down and we thought we were going to die anyway."_

_"But you would have died alone," the captain whispered, unable to get over the fact O'Neill had left Daniel behind. She could still see the blank look on the colonel's face after they were rescued, taken into the shuttle Endeavor. Carter knew without asking what was in his mind. "My God, Daniel. You were still alive. I thought you were…I mean…we left you behind…again."_

_The young man shrugged as if it didn't bother him. Sam choked at the sight._

_"It shouldn't have happened. We should have taken you with us."_

_"Then we would all be dead and so would billions of others as well." Daniel's soft voice sounded so loud. He sat down and sighed. The archeologist massaged his head with a small frown, his eyes hidden behind long bangs. "Even if they didn't succeed, even if you took me with you guys, I can't live with the possibility you risk all that."_

_"It would have been worth the risk."_

_The two looked up and saw Jack and Teal'c standing there, very serious. _

_"Not to me," Daniel said. He shrugged. "But that's all moot now, isn't it? I mean…we're here…we all okay…right?" _

_"Headache?" O'Neill nodded towards Daniel's hand which went back up again to massage his temples._

_Daniel guiltily lowered his hand. "A little."_

_"I will tell them to be silent," Teal'c announced, half turning as if to quiet anyone who made noise. _

_Daniel blanched. "Teal'c! No, no…um…it's okay…the noise is not bothering me…just…everything crashing all at once." Daniel smiled as the rest of the team sat down, and he looked around them. Sam smiled and reached over, squeezing his hand. _

_"Let them celebrate. It's nice…to hear something else besides…" Daniel's voice sounded distant. "Screaming and alarms."_

_"Absolutely," the colonel agreed in a quiet voice._

_Sam nodded, unable to speak._

_"We did it…" Daniel sounded stunned as if it finally occurred to him. "We really did it."_

_"Apophis is gone," Teal'c said in a proud voice. "And my people in Chulak will be free."_

_"So is…Skaara." Daniel's gaze lowered to the floor. "God, Jack. I'm sorry you had to make the choice."_

_Jack cleared his throat, voice gruff. "Skaara would have…I mean…he would have done the same thing. I know he…understands."_

_Sam and Teal'c nodded. Suddenly, Daniel smiled._

_"What?" Sam asked, curious to see the eyes shed their gloom._

_"I'm…I'm just glad…" Daniel's voice cracked. "Just glad you guys are okay."_

_The colonel threw an arm around Daniel's shoulders. "Ditto, Space Monkey."_

_Sam laughed, feeling the last of the tension from the battle slip away. Teal'c even had a hint of a smile as Daniel darted a look at Jack with a mock frown._

_"Speaking of which, Jack. What the hell is a Space Monkey?"_

_The colonel just grinned._

_"Jaack…"_

"Is…is he okay?"

Sam looked up from her examination and saw Daniel looking at her with half opened eyes. She nodded.

"There's a nasty gash on his shoulder, one by his side. He must have gotten it—"

"When he blocked me from that thing," Daniel finished, his eyes wandering over to the carcass. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed.

Teal'c stepped forward, blocking Daniel's view of the beast.

"The other one is gone," Daniel whispered. He blinked at the Jaffa's presence, not realizing Teal'c was trying to shield him from seeing the corpse. "Where did it—"

"Other?" Sam looked up from searching Jack's destroyed backpack. She made a face as a few items tumbled out between the ragged rips.

"There were two…Colonel O'Neill said…they hunt in numbers. They…that one fell first…"

"I saw a trail of blood, leading away from us, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c rumbled, still standing over Daniel. He turned his head, the tattoo glint in the broken sunlight peeking through the treetops. Daniel stilled at the reminder of what Teal'c was.

"I doubt it'll come back. It has no defenses. Obviously, they rely on group hunting." Sam didn't see Daniel nervously looking away.

"One charges, herding the victims to a spot where the others lurk," Daniel whispered. He shivered. The archeologist started when Teal'c bent forward in concern.

"Are you well?" The alien inquired, and Daniel nodded hesitantly. His eyes wandered back to the colonel who was still oblivious to the others. Biting his lower lip, Daniel sighed, eyes searching the dirt.

"Daniel?" Sam worried, remembering finding another lump on Daniel's head before he came to. She had bound up his head again. Sam winced sympathetically when she noticed the bruise on one side of his face turning a brilliant purple.

"My head hurts," Daniel whispered, closing his eyes. He stiffened when Teal'c shook him on the shoulder.

"You must stay awake, Daniel Jackson. It would not be wise to sleep with your head injury," Teal'c intoned, a little emotion showing as Daniel shuffled away a bit. The Jaffa wordlessly handed him a canteen. Daniel stared for a moment before accepting it.

"You have a concussion, Daniel. We need to keep you awake for awhile just to make sure that extra bump didn't do more damage."

The archeologist winced as he felt his own skull and discovered the newest injury on the back of his head from when he fell off the tree. He rotated his shoulders and hissed as he felt pulled muscles in his bruised back.

"You okay?" Carter's voice was half distracted as she yanked out the gauze. With a strong jerk, she ripped open Jack's shirt, exposing the deep gash just above the colonel's waist. With a grimace, she fumbled for some alcohol wipes and scrubbed the blood away. The colonel grunted, but didn't wake.

"I'm fine," Daniel replied in a dull voice, riveted to the scene. "Why isn't he waking up?" He found himself shocked to realize he was uneasy without the colonel alert. He shifted nervously, biting back a moan as everything ached.

"He's okay, Daniel," Sam reassured him, her heart sinking as she realized Daniel was nervous around them. Whatever had happened between Daniel and the colonel had cemented a trust, if a wary one, between them. The archeologist had his eyes glued on O'Neill, shoulders hunched forward, knees drawn up. The canteen was left unopened in his hands.

"The colonel got his head knocked around, but he'll come around," Sam said. "It's okay, Daniel." She felt like she had to enforce it with a smile, but it didn't look like Daniel was biting.

"You will be safe under our guard, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c vowed.

Daniel jumped. "Oh…um…thanks…" he shifted nervously again and sneezed. He nearly yelped when a jacket fell over his knees.

"You must keep warm," the Jaffa said, his voice mildly concerned.

Daniel shook his head, wincing as things spun. "No, no! It's okay." He tried to return the jacket. "I'm fine…really."

Teal'c refused to take it back. Daniel saw and reluctantly draped it over himself, mumbling his thanks. The young man shivered, and the jacket went around tighter.

"His head…" Daniel whispered. "He'll be okay, won't he? I mean…he's not going to be…ah…like me…and forget anything, will he?"

Sam didn't look up as she bandaged the side, muttering an apology as the man moaned unintelligibly. "No…I don't think so, Daniel."

"Good." Daniel gave a funny laugh. "Cause I could really use someone to explain all this to me, and it won't help if he also forgets the past two years as well." The archeologist gave another strange laugh.

Sam looked up sharply. The young man flushed, twin spots of red on pale cheeks.

"I'm really tired," Daniel said dully. He didn't know what to think. There was so much spinning in his mind. He couldn't get anything to slow down enough for him to read, to see or even feel. All he felt was numb, his body heavy. He could feel himself sliding sideways, away from Teal'c.

"Daniel, you need to stay awake," Carter warned, but Daniel sighed.

"Tired…" His voice drifted away, too exhausted to say it again. Daniel felt the moist ground against his bruised cheek, and he moaned. He huddled closer into a fetal position, clutching the jacket tighter around him. He mumbled a protest, shaking off hands as they tried to sit him up.

"Daniel—" Carter sounded far away.

"No more…I don't understand…sleep…" Daniel stuttered as his eyes fluttered shut. He felt darkness beckoning him, promising nothingness, and he let it drape over him, discarding all confusion. Vaguely, he thought he felt a hand brush hair away from his face, a hand gently moving him to something soft, but surely he was mistaken. He moaned, wishing whoever it was, would just leave him alone. It was too much to think at this point. The voices calling his name faded, and then there was nothing.


	13. Chapter 13

_"You know, this is getting repetitive. I shouldn't have tried calling your phone. I should have known you would be up here as usual."_

_Jack looked up and grunted as he saw Daniel, his head barely visible except for the sandy hair and tired shadowed blue eyes at the top rung of the ladder perched against his own homemade observatory._

_The young man tilted his head toward the telescope then at the discarded bottles of beer on the wooden planks._

_"What are you doing here?" the colonel mumbled as he picked up the lit cigarette and took a long drag. He blew out smoke, and Jack could have sworn it shaped into the face of Hathor before he waved his hand angrily at the smoke, destroying it. _

_Daniel's eyebrows shot up. "I didn't know you still smoked."_

_"Did…didn't…now am," Jack said shortly. He eyed the archeologist with a frown. "Didn't I drop you off at your place? Don't tell me I didn't."_

_"Couldn't sleep," Daniel confessed, his eyes partly hidden by the rungs. He stood there, clutching the sides of the ladder._

_"Yeah?" Jack snorted as he took another puff. "From what I heard, you and that snake had plenty—" He paled as he realized what he'd said. Cigarette dropping from his mouth to the floor, Jack barely noticed as he turned towards Daniel._

_The ladder was empty._

_"Daniel?" Jack stuck his head over his perch and saw the young man climbing, stomping almost angrily on the thin wooden rungs, going down far more quickly than he liked. "Hey. Hey, slow down there. Watch that middle st—"_

_Daniel's foot slipped, and the young man fell the rest of the way, almost four feet to the ground. With barely a sound, the man crashed hard and stilled._

_"Shit!" Jack swung over and practically slid down the ladder by just bracing his feet on the sides. He leaped the rest of the way and was besides Daniel in an instant. "Hey? Hey! You okay?" Jack placed one hand on Daniel's shoulder when a hand slapped it away._

_"Get away from me." Daniel rolled to his side and pushed himself up. He squinted, his glasses gone from the fall. Back towards Jack, Daniel felt around for them._

_Relieved there seemed to be no apparent injuries, Jack got up. "Look, Daniel…that was uncalled for. I didn't—" _

_Crunch._

_Daniel whipped his head around just as Jack lifted his left foot, revealing the twisted frames woefully trampled into the ground. The colonel opened his mouth, but shut it again, unable to say anything. He sheepishly picked up the glasses and offered them to the archeologist._

_"That's just great, Jack," Daniel said hotly, snatching the remains of the eyewear and shoving them in his pocket. He staggered to his feet, pushing away Jack's offer of help. "Anything else of mine you want to step on?" He stalked down the path leading out to the front yard._

_"Look. Listen to me!" Jack grabbed Daniel by the forearm, jerking him back. "I'm sorry. Okay? I didn't mean it the way it sound—"_

_"Yes you did." Daniel's head lowered, long bangs shielding his face._

_Jack let go of the arm, but Daniel didn't move._

_"I-I made those things Jack." The young man swallowed. Jack couldn't see his face only his throat. He couldn't speak._

_"Every one of those monsters…every one of those things…it was my DNA…my…" Daniel's hand flew up to his mouth as he made a strange sound. Jack sidestepped out of his way as Daniel staggered over to the fence and threw up._

_The older man winced, wondering how he was going to explain to his neighbor tomorrow morning about the vomit on his precious petunias, but the sound of Daniel's misery made him discard that worry as minute. He went over just in time to catch Daniel as the young man took a step back and nearly fell._

_"Whoa. Watch it there, buddy. Cracking your head open on my lawn isn't going to help things."_

_"Isn't it the least of what I deserve?" Daniel's voice was barely audible._

_Jack's jaw dropped. "What?"_

_"God, Jack…I…her…" Daniel fell to his knees, the moist grass on his clothes cold enough to make him shiver. He lowered his head and sighed deeply._

_"My DNA, Jack. We created those things."_

_"No you…Ha…her."_

_"You know the old saying 'It takes two to tango'?" Daniel laughed bitterly. "She chose the right partner, weak enough to not be able to resis—"_

_"Whoa, whoa! Hold it right there!" Jack crouched next to his friend, one hand gripping Daniel's shoulder. He gave him a stern shake until Daniel looked up. "No one was able to resist her. No one. Hell, I was doing the touchy feely thing with her and got a very permanent tattoo for it!"_

_"Jaffa." Daniel's voice was flat. The older man nodded numbly. "I…What have I done?" He moaned and covered his face with his hands, shuddering._

_Jack absently rubbed his friend's back up and down. "You didn't do anything, Daniel. It was all her. Not you."_

_"I can't believe that. I wish I did…I…God, Sha're…my God…Sha're…" Daniel shrank away from Jack's comfort, pressing himself closer to the fence._

_Jack sat there, next to Daniel, unable to reach him at all. He swallowed, his throat so dry and the beer he just drank churning in his stomach, nauseatingly twisting like a knife, cutting into his gut, carving a—_

_"Jack?"_

_The colonel jerked, his fists up automatically, but he lowered them when he saw Daniel's flinch. He sighed, rotated his shoulders, trying to get the kinks out and shrugged._

_"We all got something she has to answer for, Danny." Jack looked at his friend sternly. "But that doesn't include you in the blame. You're as much a victim as any of us."_

_"You make it sound so simple."_

_"Because it is." Jack stared at the flicker of light of his kerosene lamp, perched on his observatory._

_"I should have taken what you said seriously, Daniel." The soldier frowned as he remembered joking about her name. _

_"And I should have resisted harder."_

_"For crying out loud, didn't you hear what I just said? You're—"_

_"Not at fault. I know." Daniel shrugged, mimicking Jack. "I hear it. It makes sense, almost too easily, but…I just can't…forgive myself yet."_

_"Would it help if I do?"_

_Daniel smiled tentatively. "Yeah…I guess it would…"_

_The two men stared at the night sky, heads against the fence._

_"Was that why you came here?" Jack coughed awkwardly. "For uh forgiveness?"_

_"Actually, Sam told me what happened to you, and I was worried."_

_"You were?" For some reason, Jack felt pleased with the idea. Daniel snorted._

_"Yes I was. I don't know why. You always handle things better than me…wandering around driving in my car half asleep—"_

_"What?" Jack shot up to his feet and glared at the baffled archeologist. "You were half asleep? What the hell were you doing driving around like a zombie?"_

_"I was tired, but I couldn't sleep!" Daniel protested, unable to understand what was upsetting Jack. "I figured driving around would help—"_

_"Would help you sleep? I don't think so!" Jack ranted, throwing up his arms._

_"What are you so upset about?"_

_"Nothing!" Jack crossed his arms and glared. "But you're not driving back in your condition."_

_"I wasn't planning to."_

_Jack blinked._

_"I was figuring…" Daniel hesitated, his eyes glued to Jack's shoes now. "You know maybe you wouldn't mind some company, that is, if you weren't able to…uh…sleep or anything. I mean…it's okay, if you don't…I could…"_

_"Sure."_

_Daniel looked up, startled. Jack grinned crookedly._

_"Might as well keep each other miserable 'til the sun rises." Jack held out his hand and helped Daniel up. "Bunch of interesting constellations came out…got some junk food and beer up there." He nodded towards the direction of his perch. He smiled when he saw Daniel following, back to the ladder again._

_A few hours later, Jack found himself draping his jacket over Daniel, who'd dozed off sitting on the ground. _

_"Couldn't sleep, huh?" Jack murmured as he tucked the jacket in. Daniel mumbled something before settling back to sleep. He chuckled as the young man made a face when a lock of hair fell over his eyes but didn't waken. "Sleep tight, buddy."_

"Sir?"

Jack lifted his hands to rub his eyes. He grimaced as bandaged fingers clumsily bumped into his face.

"O'Neill?"

"I'm up. I'm up," Jack grumbled, cracking one eye open. When he saw the wide spaces, the sky darkening once again to dusk, he sat up alarmed.

"Daniel?"

"Over there, sir." Sam's face floated into view. She nodded towards the shadowed grove of trees, a huddled bundle curled under its shade.

"He needs to stay awake," Jack said tiredly, wincing as he tried to stretch. Everything hurt or at least it felt that way.

"He's been drifting in and out, sir," Sam said softly as Teal'c went over to check on their friend. "We got this far before he was tired again."

"His head?" Jack eyed the curled form with a frown.

"Another bump, only minor. But I'm wondering about his…" Carter bit her lip, "state of mind, sir."

Jack turned sharply towards Carter. "What do you mean?"

"He's…he's in a state of shock. He's been wanting to sleep on and off since we got you guys out of that place—"

"He's tired."

Sam nodded, her eyes back on their friend, shoulders relaxing as Teal'c nodded to show that Daniel's vitals were good.

"I know that. But he's been…he hasn't talk to us. Absolutely refused our help and…and…well, before, I thought…well." Carter took a deep breath.

"He looked like he was afraid of us, colonel. And of you." There, she finally said it.

Jack brooded over that, his eyes narrowing as he stared at the grove once more. Teal'c stayed where he was, guarding their sleeping teammate.

_"This information has become classified." Jack felt irritated this newcomer didn't even flinch when he said that. He turned to Kawalsky, raising his voice just a bit to make sure this geek heard the next part and figured how to keep his mouth shut. "From now on, no information is to be passed on to non-military personnel." O'Neill glanced at Jackson, out of the corner of his eyes and noted with satisfaction the young man did look taken a back, "without my expressed permission." With one more look at them, Jack turned on his heels and left before the man could even sputter a question out._

"We weren't exactly friends on that first mission, Carter." _Shit, I wasn't exactly happy to meet anyone back then. Just that goddamn bomb._

"Oh." Sam fell silent. Wordlessly, she handed a water bottle to Jack. The colonel gratefully accepted, drinking deeply before returning the bottle regretfully.

"Hell, I wasn't winning any Mister Congeniality awards there, Carter." Jack eyed Daniel. Teal'c looked back steadily, able to hear every word.

"I see."

Jack looked at her sideways. "No, you don't."

Carter flushed, flustered as she sat back on her heels. Jack sat up, grimacing, one hand going to his side. He could feel the padding and made a face.

"Damn. Rover managed to get in a swipe after all."

"There is still another," Teal'c announced as he approached. The Jaffa crouched and began setting up a campfire. The day was over and it was too late to travel more.

"**What?**"

"Daniel said there were two of them, but we only saw one body, sir," Carter explained as she rummaged around her pack. "Teal'c saw a trail of blood leading away from the clearing you were in. Maybe it fled. It's outnumbered now. It might not come back."

"Maybe," Jack said curtly as he accepted the sleeping roll and flipped it out. He gazed over to Daniel silently before he got up, shaking his head when the other two started to stand. Hobbling over, hunched like an old man, Jack sat down next to Daniel.

The archeologist had Teal'c's jacket draped over him, one hand holding both flaps together to stay warm. The other hand wrapped itself around his own waist. Daniel's brow furrowed was in pain, and he didn't stir when Jack placed a hand over his forehead to check for fever.

"Sir?" Carter handed him another sleeping bag.

"Build that fire closer to him, will ya?" Jack said softly as he took the bedroll and laid it out parallel to his friend. "Teal'c."

The Jaffa didn't ask as he came over. The two men gently rolled Daniel over to the sleeping bag, the young man still not saying a word. Jack quietly zipped up the covers and checked for fever again.

"I thought he was a geek."

Carter looked up from the tiny but growing flames, heating the MREs. The colonel's face was hooded in shadows as he bent over Daniel. Teal'c was kneeling next to the two, silent.

"O'Neill, did he recall any more of his past?" The Jaffa had a strange look on his face as he looked at Daniel as well.

"He remembers…some stuff." The soldier sighed heavily, one hand rubbing his face. Lines of weariness drew tight around his eyes as he frowned.

"He remembers you at Chulak before you joined us. I think maybe also when he encountered your alternate self a few months back. He remembers Carter when she was…uh…"

"Jolinar," Sam finished quietly, not looking up. She stared at the fire, hypnotized.

Jack coughed awkwardly. "Yeah." He sat there, inches away from Daniel's head, and it struck him how small the man looked, curled up in the sleeping bag, face hidden within the nylon folds. It made his heart clench, and he wondered why he never noticed how many times his friend looked like this.

"I guess he hasn't remembered everything yet," Carter added.

"…No."

"You and Daniel Jackson were comrades in Abydos and succeeded in killing Ra," Teal'c commented. The Jaffa tilted his head. "Were you not friends?"

Jack's jaw clenched, and he said nothing.

Sam winced at his hard expression and looked at her food heating over the fire. She silently handed a cup over to Teal'c, readied some for O'Neill and herself, saving some for Daniel when he woke.

"I wasn't the same person then."

The two looked up. Jack was still looking at the huddled form on the ground.

"What was different?" Teal'c asked before Carter could warn him not to. Jack turned his head slightly, looking sideways at the warrior.

"I don't know." _I thought it was Daniel, but now I don't know._ Jack glanced away from Daniel, his eyes troubled. "Hell, that mission was blown out of the water since the moment we stepped through that Stargate." _Everyone was going to throw him down the dunes instead of his books when he said he couldn't find the seven symbols for home. I didn't care at that point. There was nothing for me to go back to anyway. At least…that's what I thought. _The colonel cradled the cup Carter gave him, poking at the heated MREs with the fork tool from his Swiss Army knife. With a face, he chewed on the brown mess without tasting it.

"But you're friends now," Sam pointed out. "Maybe after Ra was dead—-"

_After he blocked that guard from blowing my guts out to the floor._

"Perhaps you have both changed," Teal'c decided, sitting cross-legged in front of the fire. "A battle can often bond two warriors to a strong affinity."

"Daniel's not a warrior," Jack answered quickly in a sharp tone.

Teal'c and Carter fell silent.

O'Neill shook his head and leaned back into the trunk of the tree, eyes cast upward.

"But he's seen enough shit to qualify."

Sam nodded.

"He'll be okay, sir."

"Of course," Jack answered automatically, but he frowned all the same when Daniel shifted, muttering in his sleep. "We need to wake him in a few more minutes though."

"He just goes right back to sleep."

"Well, he doesn't have that option, okay?" the colonel snapped. He calmed down and shook his head. "Look—"

"We will wake Daniel Jackson, O'Neill." Teal'c said. "You need to rest if we are to continue our journey."

Jack darted him a look.

"He's right, sir," Sam cut in. "The bridge is maybe another few hours hike and past that, the Stargate is a good day's travel if we don't stop too often."

"We need to set up watch," O'Neill stubbornly insisted.

"I will take the first, sir," Sam volunteered.

"And I will take the next," Teal'c declared. He went over and brought Jack's sleeping bag to him. The team leader glared, but said nothing as the Jaffa set it next to Daniel's, on top of his bedroll.

Carter and Teal'c looked at Jack expectantly. The colonel rolled his eyes and threw up his arms, hissing when his shoulder twinge.

"If he starts waking up, make sure he stays awake long enough for you to check him over, okay?" Jack groused. He slipped into his own sleeping bag. "And if anything's wrong, let me know, alright?"

"Of course," Carter said innocently.

Jack glared at her. "No respect," he grumbled, settling down. His eyes looked sideways towards Daniel once more, his brow furrowing. Then he faced the night sky.

Sam watched as her CO slowly went to sleep, his breathing evening out. She sighed in relief.

"I will take over next, Captain Carter," Teal'c said seriously, closing his eyes for meditation.

"Night, Teal'c," Sam murmured, watching as the Jaffa took a deep breath and stilled, sitting by the edge of their campsite, staff weapon balanced on his crossed legs.

Studying Daniel, curled up in the sleeping bag, Carter felt saddened, recalling what O'Neill had said about him remembering Jolinar.

_"I know where your wife is."_

_Almost to the brig's door, Daniel spun around again. His face was white with shock and Sam, unable to stop her, could only whisper apologies inside as Jolinar tried to use that fact to gain her freedom._

God, his face was so shocked yet so hopeful. Sam moaned softly as she remembered and buried her face in her hands. She knew Jolinar wasn't evil. Just the opposite, a Tok'ra on their side, but…but…

_Daniel stared at Jolinar in shock. He stood there as if he didn't hear. But then, he blinked and swallowed visibly._

_"You're lying," Daniel's voice held steady. _

_Jolinar shaped her mouth into a smile. "You do not know this for sure." The Tok'ra sensed Sam's outrage as she pulled a memory and slapped it in Daniel's face. "Can you truly take that chance that it is? After searching all this time?"_

_The archeologist stared at her, looking like he was going to run to the barred cell, but he clenched his fists instead._

_"I-I can't believe you," Daniel whispered. He hurried to the metal doors. "Guards! Let me out!" He banged on the door, his voice higher for some reason. As the door closed behind him, Sam felt Jolinar's whispered apology, and she sat down on the bench._

_"Oh, Daniel. I'm so sorry," Sam wept._

Daniel stirred, moaning softly. Sam looked up, angrily wiping the stray tear off her cheek and hurried over before he woke the colonel.

"Daniel?" She called softly.

"Cold," the young man murmured, shivering in his sleep.

"I need you to wake up," Sam said quietly, her hand stroking his cheekbone. "Come on. Please?"

Daniel frowned, his eyes shut and tilted towards the voice. Bleary red rimmed eyes opened and looked at her. They widened and Sam could see him visibly stiffen. Something in her chest twisted when she saw it.

"It's okay. It's me, remember?" Sam smiled wanly. Daniel just stared at her. "Sam?"

"H-hello."

Smiling again, Sam took the still warm cup of food and handed it to Daniel. "We saved some dinner for you. Colonel O'Neill—"

"Is he awake?" Daniel's eyes lit up, and Sam's smile faded.

"No." The archeologist's eyes shuttered, and she added hastily. "He was before, but he needed rest and—"

"He's okay?" Daniel grimaced as he tried to get up, cringing when Sam slipped a arm behind his shoulders to help. He mumbled his apologies and leaned against the sapling behind him. His eyes drifted over and widened when he saw Jack snoring softly a few feet away. He glanced back at Sam, who shrugged.

"Some of the cuts were deep but not life threatening. He'll be grouchy though." She tried to joke, but Daniel didn't laugh. He lowered his head, his chin almost touching his chest as he studied the other man.

"You hungry?" Sam shifted closer, still holding the cup. "It's not much, but you should eat something."

Daniel hesitantly took the offered meal and looked at it for a long moment.

"There's nothing wrong with it, Daniel."

The young man's head shot up. "No! I-I don't mean to imply—I'm just not hungry, that's all."

Sam extended a fork silently.

Daniel considered her for a moment before meekly taking the utensil. Forking the unappealing substance, the young man took a bite. Eyes down, Daniel chewed thoughtfully.

"Well?" Sam smiled, noting how Daniel was concentrating very hard like he would when encountering something to translate. The young man blinked in surprise.

"It…kinda tastes like," Daniel smiled shyly, "like chicken."

The captain chuckled.

"What?"

"It's supposed to be beef stew, Daniel."

The archeologist made a face. He looked up in surprise at Sam's chuckle. Puzzled, he eyed her warily until she explained.

"That's what you said one time about the macaroni and cheese." The woman grinned broadly.

"Oh."

Sam's smile faded.

"Daniel. The colonel told me what you remembered about me. It's hard to explain, but please believe me…believe _us_…we're your friends here. We trust you, and I would like to think you trust us."

"Trust you," Daniel echoed. He studied the colonel next to him. Something fleeted across his face, and he sighed.

"I-I don't know what to think. This is all…it's like science fiction!" The young man chuckled sadly. "Then again, the Stargate was science fiction. My theories were science fiction."

"No, they weren't."

The archeologist paused. Sam sat across from him, elbows propped up on her knees, one ear tuned to the outside, but her eyes glued to his face.

"Daniel, I know you weren't exactly the traditionalist scientist back then—"

"Maverick, nutcase, loopy…" Daniel muttered.

Sam frowned. "Maybe to them, but your theories are highly respected in SGC."

"SG…C?"

"Stargate Command." The captain nodded towards the cup he held, and the young man sheepishly took another bite. "No one else can do what you do."

"…And that is…" Daniel's voice trailed off.

"You got time for me to make a list?" Sam smiled. Daniel stared at her. "No, really, Daniel. We've encountered so many…so many different cultures. You wouldn't believe just how many lost civilizations, rejuvenated societies we've come across." She looked around the campsite, half checking for security, the other half still marveling over the place still felt alien despite the familiar looking trees.

"So, I'm like…some sort of," Daniel mulled over the term, "cultural advisor?"

"Yeah."

"So…wouldn't I be on base…um…advising? Why am I on a team?" the archeologist pointed out.

Sam's smile faded.

"Captain Carter?"

"Sam. You call me Sam."

"…Sorry." Daniel looked down on his cup. "Did I say something wrong?"

_No, I'm just hoping I don't._ Carter forced herself to grin. "No. You tend to go off on tangents a lot, driving the colonel crazy, but that's part of your job description."

The archeologist looked confused.

"…I was kidding, Daniel."

"Oh." Daniel peered at his cup again. He sighed and set it down on the ground. "I'm really not that hungry, Ca…I mean, Sam." The young man rubbed at his temples wearily.

"You need to stay awake." She took the cup and set it aside. Rummaging around, she pulled out a canteen and handed it to Daniel. The archeologist stared at it for a moment and shook his head. Sighing, Sam set it next to him in case he changed his mind later on.

"I'm really tired." Daniel leaned back on the tree, closing his eyes. They flew open when he felt a tapping on his knee.

"Just for a little bit longer." The woman paused, seeing Daniel's eyes glued to her hand. She pulled back sadly.

"H-how far away are we from the Stargate?" Daniel asked softly.

"Over a day's hike." She massaged her aching ankle with a rueful frown.

"Are you alright?"

Carter noticed Daniel was watching her tending her ankle. She shrugged.

"It'll teach me to not fall off any more hundred feet cliffs." She grinned to show she was joking and was delighted to see a tentative smile on Daniel's face.

"…I know. I learned my lesson."

"See?" Carter teased. "You're feeling better already. You can look back on this and laugh."

Daniel sobered. "Do…do I have a lot to laugh about now?"

Sam fell silent, and Daniel looked away, not asking any more.


	14. Chapter 14

_His head was hurting. Daniel popped another aspirin in his mouth and massaged his temples with two fingers. The bench underneath him felt hard despite the cushioning._

_"You have not slept in twenty four hours, Daniel Jackson." Teal'c's voice rumbled over him._

_Looking up blearily, Daniel smiled. "I'm okay." He looked at the double doors down the hall. His shoulders slumped when he realized no one was coming out yet. He looked at his watch and saw the blurry hand move to three hours. "Jack and Sam have been there for a while."_

_"They were alive when we found them in the cave." The Jaffa turned to observe the doors as well. "Had you not discovered the second Stargate, they would have surely perished."_

_Bile rose in Daniel's throat. "They were there all this time, right under our noses."_

_"Under our noses?" Teal'c repeated._

_"Um…expression, meaning…obvious place we were blind to," Daniel explained. He rubbed his eyes and tried to swallow back the yawn._

_A jacket plopped over his shoulders, and Daniel looked up. Teal'c was studying him with mild concern._

_"It may be some time before we know of their conditions. You have not healed yet of your own injuries."_

_"I'm fine." Daniel stared at the double doors, the image blurring still._

_"Rest. I will wake you when they depart from that room," Teal'c assured him. "O'Neill and Captain Carter will surely have many questions I will not be able to answer." He pointedly looked at Daniel who was unsuccessful in hiding his yawn. "You will be greatly needed to answer them."_

_"You'll wake me…when the doctors come out?" To Daniel's dismay, his eyes were tearing, exhausted and unable to stay open._

_"Yes. You have my word, Daniel Jackson."_

_The archeologist yawned again. _

_"Maybe I'll close my eyes for just a moment. They'll be out soon, and I don't want to-" Daniel felt himself trailing off and forgot what he was going to say._

_His arms felt so heavy, his head even heavier. The pounding in his head dulled to a distant rhythm. Vaguely, he felt himself sliding sideways, and he tensed, trying to stay upright. _

_A strong grip on his shoulders almost made him open his eyes, but when he heard Teal'c's low voice telling him to rest, Daniel complied, too weary to struggle. He felt himself being pushed down to the bench, the jacket folded and slipped under his head. Something thick draped over him now, and Daniel numbly realized it was a blanket and wondered where the Jaffa got it. He didn't even know if he said thank you or not, but felt a steady hand on his shoulder. Trusting Teal'c to keep his word, Daniel let go and slept._

Someone was shaking his shoulder.

"Daniel Jackson."

Opening his eyes, Daniel saw the Jaffa named Teal'c leaning close to him, brow furrowed, a frown on his lips. He sat up hastily, moaning, his hand up to cradle his head. Teal'c studied him with concern.

"You had fallen asleep during Captain Carter's watch, and I thought best to awaken you now." The warrior handed him a towel, damp with water from the canteen. "Perhaps you would like to refresh yourself?"

"Thank you," Daniel murmured, taking the towel and wiping his face. It made him feel a little better, the cool towel cleaning his sweat, but his throat ached so badly. He coughed raspily.

A tin cup tilted towards him, and Daniel jumped.

"It is water, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said quietly. "You require liquids."

Too tired to remember to be cautious now, Daniel took the cup and drank the water greedily, regretfully handing the empty container back to Teal'c. He shivered at the night air and tugged the jacket closer to him when he remembered.

"Sorry, do you want your jacket back?" Daniel offered, shrugging out of the large padded jacket as he realized Teal'c only had his black T-shirt on. The Jaffa stopped him.

"No. I do not require it for warmth." Teal'c surprised Daniel by kneeling next to him and rearranging the jacket over him again, making sure it wouldn't slip off his shoulders. Daniel gawked at the alien for a moment before he remembered to close his mouth.

"Um…thank you." Daniel winced as his shoulders ached. He felt so tired. Every time he did close his eyes, he kept seeing things that contradicted themselves, images that were frightening, feelings that didn't match the images. And one thing came foremost in his mind, in spite of the chaos.

Sha're.

"…Teal'c?"

The Jaffa, who was scanning their surroundings, turned back to the archeologist questioningly.

"Colonel…Colonel O'Neill said that uh Sha're was no longer in Abydos. That I can no longer go back there." Daniel bit his lower lip. "Is this true?"

Teal'c found himself wishing he hadn't turned around. He was tempted to lie, reluctant to admit to his friend his sin, his crime, his involvement with Sha're's fate, but the Jaffa couldn't lie either, pinned under blue eyes.

"Yes. O'Neill speaks the truth."

"Oh." To Teal'c's surprise, Daniel didn't ask any more questions. The warrior studied him carefully, noting the tired slump in Daniel's shoulders, and he shuffled closer.

"What is it you wish to know?"

The young man lifted his eyes. He shrugged and looked down again as if he didn't care.

"I—" Daniel stopped.

Teal'c nodded encouragingly.

"I saw you with that—" Daniel pointed to the staff weapon on Teal'c's lap. "And you were…were—"

_Boots clomping up the metal ramp, Daniel heard the hiss of the staff weapon being fired, and he ran faster. _

_When did the Stargate get so far away?_

_Fire, ice, sharp knives seem to attack his shoulder all at once. A blow so painful, it actually made him stumble into the Stargate, into the wormhole away from Teal'c._

_As he arrived on the other side, Daniel could smell the charred stench of his fatigues burned to a crisp, his shoulder feeling like it was barely attached to his body._

"Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c shook him on the shoulder, and the man cringed. The memory so sharp, so clear, it was like his shoulder ached from the wound still.

"Don't—" Daniel threw up his hands. When he did, the room faded, and he was in the forest again.

"I would not harm you."

"That's what they all say," Daniel muttered.

"But I speak the truth."

The archeologist nodded absently.

"I saw…well…I saw something. Not sure what it was exactly…" He trailed off, uncertain. Teal'c waited.

"I saw you fire that thing at me," Daniel blurted out finally. The Jaffa looked startled. "But you were…d-different."

"Different?" Teal'c cocked his head to the side. "Ah…you have mentioned this to me before. It was the other me."

"Other me…" Daniel repeated. He glared at Teal'c, suddenly angry. "I'm not an idiot."

"I did not say you were."

The scientist looked away. "Then don't treat me like one." He crossed his arms, still angry.

"You had mentioned to me once," Teal'c explained carefully and with great patience. "Of you traveling into another world similar to yours yet not."

_Daniel stared at the two women. For some reason, he felt like laughing. He didn't know why. _

_"You mean to tell me I'm in some sort of," the laughter broke through, and it sounded hysterical, "other dimension?"_

"Apophis had invaded this version of Tau'ri world in an act of retribution."

_Daniel stared at the screen, at the blimp that was marked Air Force One. To his shock, it vanished._

_The room fell into stunned silence._

_"We…we lost Air Force One, sir."_

_This isn't happening, Daniel thought as he looked at the Stargate once more. This isn't happening._

"Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c reached over and touched him on the knee. Daniel started with a gasp.

"So, you're trying to tell me I went to some sort of," Daniel's fingers twisted around each other as he gave it some thought, "alternate…reality?" He stared at the Jaffa for a moment. His mouth opened slightly then shut. Looking down, he stared at the grass crushed under his feet.

"I tell the truth," Teal'c said. "I would not lie to you." He felt oddly distressed the young scholar might doubt him. An unsettling feeling, like his Goa'uld larva stirring restlessly in his stomach, came over him. He looked right at Daniel.

"I have never lied to you, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel kicked the grass under his shoe, running his tongue inside his mouth as he thought it over. "I…I believe you." The archeologist lifted his eyes and smiled wanly. "I still don't know why, but I do."

A small smile tugged at Teal'c's lips, and Daniel grinned in surprise.

"You smile," Daniel pointed out lightly.

"Only when appropriate." Teal'c bowed his head slightly towards his friend.

"Although…it needs working," Daniel said shyly, not sure how the Jaffa would react to the teasing. The alien nodded solemnly.

"Yes, you have once told me that, Daniel Jackson."

"Oh. I did?"

"Yes."

Daniel stared at Teal'c again. Blinking, Daniel leaned forward and rested his head on top of his folded knees. Brow furrowing, he massaged his temples, biting down on his lower lip as he felt the throbbing ache pulsing behind his eyes again.

"You are having a pain in the head once more?"

"Headache," Daniel replied automatically without realizing he did. "Just a little."

"Should I inform O'Neill?"

Daniel eyed Teal'c puzzled. "Before, you said that. Why?"

"He would be concerned."

"Oh." Daniel dropped his gaze again. His eyes slowly drifted back to the sleeping colonel. "He…he went in front of me when that thing attacked."

"As any of us would do."

Daniel blinked. He went on as if he didn't hear. "He went right in front of me." He glanced up to Teal'c. "Why did he do that?"

Teal'c turned his head, towards Jack, still dozing away, unaware of being the topic of their conversation.

"You are his friend."

"His…friend." Daniel didn't know whether to laugh or not.

_"He's full of shit," O'Neill muttered to West, eyes on Daniel, knowing full well the young archeologist could hear him._

"I didn't think that could have been possible with a man like him."

"I do not understand." Teal'c tilted his head a bit, puzzled. "O'Neill mentioned you and he were not fond of each other when you first visited Abydos."

"Well, exaggerating about finding the symbols was probably not the way to charm my way into his good graces," Daniel muttered.

Teal'c looked puzzled, but didn't ask for an explanation. "But this has changed."

"How?" Daniel insisted. "I-I'm not saying I hate the man." He glanced nervously over to Jack to make sure he was sleeping. "I just don't understand. What has happened between then and now that changed everything?"

"Everything?"

"I half expected to finish the mission, get a nice check that could tide me over until I found some university who wouldn't mind a quack for a professor and start again in some one room apartment."

"Your apartment is quite large now," Teal'c informed him. "You have fish."

Daniel gawked at Teal'c, wondering if the alien was joking, if he was even capable of such. "I...uh...have fish?"

"Yes…they are goldfish, but I still do not understand why they are named such when they do not appear to be made of that metal your people value so much."

_"Teal'c! What are you doing?" Daniel dropped his box and hurried down the step to the sparse living room area. The Jaffa was frowning at the fish he had dangling in one hand. The creature jittered as it struggled to breathe._

_"It is not made of gold, Daniel Jackson. I fear you have been swindled," Teal'c announced as he gently released it back into the fish tank. The Jaffa raised an eyebrow when the fish jumped out above the waters as if to reproach him then swam away to the far end of the tank with the others._

_"No, it's…just a saying…they're not really made of gold."_

_"I told you, you should had have him carry this stuff up instead of letting him play with those guys," Jack complained as he wheezed, lugging up a dusty box. _

_"He's never seen any of the animal life around here except in books. I thought maybe he would want to see the fish you got me," Daniel muttered, eyeing his aquatic pets apprehensively. They seem to be okay despite Teal'c's curiosity._

_"So you decide to have him help you move in your new place and show him the rats and roaches?" Jack plopped down on the old couch with a gasp. "Geez, what ya got in there? Rocks?"_

_"Some artifacts I picked up when I was in Sib—"_

_"Great…rocks." The colonel threw up his arms, grinning at Daniel's glare._

_"Sir?" Sam staggered into the apartment, shooting an annoyed glare at the man. "A little help, please?" She dropped the box with a thud, and Daniel yelped._

_"Oh no. Please don't do that!" Daniel jumped over Jack's feet. The colonel had stretched them out as he sank into the couch and took the other box Sam was carrying._

_"Maybe I should go down to the truck and help you out," Daniel offered as Sam shrugged apologetically. _

_"I will guard your pets, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c announced, his eyes glued to the fish, not budging an inch._

_"Um…great…Jack?"_

_"What?" The colonel had his eyes closed, his head back._

_"Can you show him how to feed them?" Daniel headed for his door to go downstairs._

_"Sure." The colonel hopped back up on his feet and jaunted over. With a whistle, Jack tossed a small container he saw by the table. The Jaffa caught it without any problems. "We feed them this."_

_Daniel opened the door to let Sam out when he heard Teal'c ask. "This bottle?"_

_"Yeah. We feed them—Not the whole thing!" _

_Daniel stuck his head back in and gaped as Jack grabbed his miniature net, frantically fishing out a pile of flakes floating serenely on the water. The archeologist's mouth dropped open. Sam peered in to see what was the matter and groaned._

_"My fish," Daniel said numbly. Sam patted him on the shoulder._

_"We'll buy you new ones." Sam murmured sympathetically, turning him away from the sight of Jack and Teal'c trying to scoop out the excess food with their fingers now, fish eagerly chomping non stop on the treat._

_"I was kinda attached to those," Daniel muttered as he went down the stairs._

"You fed them too much." A shy smile appeared on Daniel's lips. He blinked in surprise.

"You recall?"

"Something…I think…" Daniel shrugged, wondering why it would make him feel so…he didn't know what to call it. It made him feel warm as if he was by the campfire. Even his headache didn't bother him as much. He rested his chin on folded arms, on top of his knees.

"Fish, huh?" Daniel suddenly sounded sad. "Guess I was planning to stick around then." He eyed the colonel once more.

_"You can't go back!"_

_"Why the hell n—"_

_"Because she's not there!"_

"Teal'c?"

The Jaffa looked at him solemnly.

"Did the colonel…uh…ever told you why I left Abydos? If I was there. If I stayed there, with her, then why did I leave? Why can't I go back?"

Teal'c stilled.

"Teal'c?"

"It is because—" Teal'c began when he whipped around.

Daniel sat up straighter. "What? What is it?"

"It is here," Teal'c said tersely.

Eyes wide, Daniel leaned forward. "That animal? The one that looked like a bear?"

Teal'c just nodded and stood up. Daniel, not even giving it any thought, reached over and shook Jack by the shoulders.

"Wha…is it my watch yet?" Jack yawned widely, grimacing as he sat up.

Something howled to their left.

Jack was up on his feet before the last of the echo faded. "Shit! Bastard does not know when it's not welcomed." He nodded curtly at Carter who roused at the sound. She pulled out her clip, swore softly as she counted, and shoved it back into her weapon.

"I got five, sir."

"Four remains in mine's, O'Neill."

"And I got zip," Jack grated. He stepped closer to Daniel. Studying the young man's pallor carefully before returning his attention back to the direction of the noise, the colonel spoke in a brisk voice. "Think you can make it if you need to run?"

"What?" Daniel stared at the colonel's back. Jack looked over his shoulder, and the young man thought he saw concern flash in his dark eyes before that face turned back to the problem at hand.

"You make a break for it with Carter."

"What?"

"Sir!" Sam and Daniel both exclaimed. Jack growled as he heard something move to his left.

"One of us needs to get to that Stargate. One of us has to have a weapon with them to do so. I can play blockade with Mister I-Need-A-Haircut with Teal'c as you guys head for the Stargate."

"Sir, it's a good day's hike—"

"Which we won't make if this thing is dogging us!" Jack snapped. He calmed when he saw Daniel flinch. "Teal'c and I are the best choices. And you Carter, got a busted ankle. The running start will be necessary. I **need** you to get Daniel across and get some help here!" The colonel studied Daniel. Something strange flitted across the stern features, and Jack's eyes softened.

"And you need to get back home."

_Home? _Daniel stared at the older man.

Carter looked at Daniel and sighed. "Bring me back a fur coat, sir."

"Nah. Wouldn't look good on ya, Captain."

Daniel spun around to Sam. "What? We're just going to leave them here?"

"We don't have enough weapons for all of us—" Carter argued.

"But that doesn't mean we should abandon them!" Daniel couldn't stop this unsettling feeling when he thought of leaving them. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't. Bile rushed up his throat just thinking about it now.

_"Go…get out of here." _

_"I am not leaving you behind!" _

He couldn't.

"Daniel?" Sam grabbed him by the elbow and was surprised when the man didn't move.

The howling seemed to get closer.

Teal'c muttered something in his own language that Daniel vaguely thought sounded like a curse. The Jaffa whipped his staff weapon out, and it blossomed open with a flick of his thumb. Daniel stiffened, remembering the sound of it. It had a high pitched sound he couldn't forget.

_It felt heavy in his hands. Daniel had to grip it with both as he stood there in front of the pillar, staring at it helplessly._

_Jack and the others stood opposite him inside the dank chamber. Teal'c stared at him as if trying not to encourage him either way._

_They could all leave here. And leave this place, leave the Hammer intact._

_But then Teal'c couldn't get home._

_Daniel dimly saw Jack's lips move as if he'd muttered a prayer. The colonel pinned a silent look on him, and Daniel knew why Jack gave __**him**__ the staff weapon._

_He had a choice._

_One he could make and no one would hate him for. _

_Even if it meant…leaving the Hammer alone and consigning Teal'c to his fate. _

_Trapped. For God knows how long._

_Because of the Goa'uld larva he had in his stomach._

_Trapped because of the Goa'uld._

_Imprisoned because of the Goa'uld._

_Just like Sha're._

_Daniel flicked the staff weapon open. Sparks crackled around its metallic petals._

_If there was a hammer like this here. He hoped…no…he __**prayed**__…that there was another one out there as well._

_Daniel fired the weapon._

_It sounded so loud as it struck the carved stone arch above, the whine of energy corrupting the hum of the Hammer, mixing both noises until it resembled screaming._

_And he could have sworn he heard Sha're screaming._

Daniel swallowed, Carter dragging him away a bit before he dug his heels in, refusing to leave. The animal howled again, this time to the right, and Teal'c fired his staff weapon into the general area. They could hear the scurry of the beast.

And then, it was quiet.

Jack whipped around and glared at Daniel. The young man took a step back nervously.

"Next time," Jack said tightly, "when I say go…I mean go." He threw down his weapon, useless without any ammo in it and swore softly.

"S-sorry," Daniel stammered, staring at the older man pacing around the team, muttering in frustration.

The colonel stopped and looked at Daniel. He berated himself when he saw the nervousness in the other man's hunched posture. He sighed, running a hand through his hair before grimacing as his bandages got in the way. "No. Forget it. It's gone anyway. But next time," Jack counted to three, trying to calm himself. "Please? **Please?** Listen when I say something? Okay?"

"Fat chance," Carter muttered. Daniel shot her a startled look.

"Don't encourage the guy, Captain," Jack grumbled as Carter grinned.

"I would think its second nature, sir."

"A guy can dream, can't he?" Jack pretended to look mournfully at Daniel. "Hell, even slowing down when I say wait would be nice once in a while."

Daniel gave them both strange looks. Teal'c nodded slightly at his young friend.

"You often wander away from us before we are aware," Teal'c explained.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Wander?" the colonel grinned. "Try run, dash, head for the hills, bolting at the starter's gun, all in the name of searching for the perfect roc—" He stopped and looked at Daniel.

The archeologist blinked. "What?"

"…Nothing." Jack sobered. He found himself oddly upset Daniel didn't jump to correct him.

"This is all so strange," Daniel muttered, stepping back and leaning on a tree. Sighing deeply, he covered his face with his hands, his shoulders slumping forward.

Jack was there in an instant. "You okay?" the man asked quietly.

Daniel laughed dully. "Define okay." Daniel waved at the others. "I-I keep expecting to wake up in the desert after passing out from sunstroke or something and be back where I started from."

Jack clenched his jaw. "It's not like that anymore, Daniel." He ignored the curious looks Carter and Teal'c exchanged.

"But why?" Daniel's voice took on a desperate, pleading tone. "I don't understand. I just don't understand!"

"Why is it hard to understand?" Carter spoke up, her eyes still on the woods around them. "We're your—"

"Friends, I know. You keep telling me that," Daniel finished. "It's just hard to believe. My last so-called **friends** never showed up for my last lecture. They refused to even listen to my theories anymore, because they didn't want their association with me bring down their own careers." He shrugged, looking sideways at Jack.

The colonel felt a chill down his spine. _He doesn't understand why I'm not a jerk anymore. I…Hell, I don't even know how to explain it myself._

"I'm really confused here," Daniel whispered, gradually sliding down the tree.

Jack caught him around the waist and hoisted him upright again. "Whoa, buddy. Easy there." The colonel tightened his hold and fumbled for Daniel's wrist, checking the pulse as he struggled to keep him standing. "All this standing up, sitting down isn't doing you any favors."

Jack lifted his eyes after letting go the wrist and saw the funny look on Daniel's face. He felt that tight feeling in his chest again. Every time Jack treated him…nice…he got that same look. That look of wariness, of mistrust, as if waiting for him to turn around and beat him to the ground, pounding at him, pushing him against the monitors—

_Whoa. Hold it right there, O'Neill. This isn't about the Touched virus._

Daniel straightened and tried to step away from Jack's grip. The man saddened.

_It's a whole lot more._

"O'Neill."

Jack stopped, still holding Daniel tightly around the waist to keep him upright. He eyed Teal'c. "What is it?"

"It is here again."

At Teal'c's words, everyone stiffened, save Daniel. The young man looked around, his mouth pursed as he tried to hear. Jack tightened his grip around his friend just as he heard it again.

"There!" Carter hissed, her arms straight out towards a patch a few meters away. The bushes rustled, but then stilled.

Birds suddenly burst out of the forest around them, squawking. The group spun around, startled. Carter's gun swooped left to right, trying to find a target, but calmed when she saw it was just the animals.

"Damn it," Jack muttered, patting Daniel's shoulder, telling him to stay. The young man was barely standing straight. Daniel was hunched forward, breathing heavily as if he'd run a marathon, eyes wide and darting back and forth trying to find their stalker. The colonel looked at him with concern before scowling at the woods. "I'm getting sick and tired of—"

A twig snapped.

Behind him.

Teal'c whipped his staff weapon around, towards the area. But before he could bark out a warning for everyone to stand clear, Daniel screamed out.

"No!" Lurching away, hands flung out, he screamed for Teal'c to lower his weapon, shouting in ancient Egyptian. The Jaffa jerked back, but other than that, everyone else froze.

Jack stared at Daniel's back, blocking him from Teal'c.

_"What are you doing?" Daniel cried out just as Jack grabbed the staff weapon. He could hear Ra barking to his Jaffa to do something as he whipped around and struck the first guard._

_The blast sent the guard across the floor a few feet, but Jack didn't stop to admire the effect as he spun the weapon around again._

_That was when he saw the shadow._

_"No!" Jackson screamed, waving for the guards to cease fire, ever stubborn in his insistence that this could be resolved peacefully._

_But Jack didn't have time to tell the idiot to back off. He didn't even have time to blink. In mere seconds, without hesitation, Daniel stepped in between him and the guard, a place every soldier knew never to cross. A place Jackson perhaps knowingly or unknowingly stepped into to protect Jack._

_And took the guard's blast right in the stomach._

_Jack heard the archeologist scream once more, and he thought he saw flesh and blood spew out before the young man folded before him and dropped to the floor._

"No!" Daniel screamed as he got in front of Teal'c.

Jack roughly pulled Daniel close to him as Teal'c yanked up his staff weapon in alarm.

"Daniel?" The colonel stopped when he saw the stunned look on Daniel's face.

"Daniel?" Sam touched Daniel's elbow, and like a switch, the young man shivered with the touch. He stared at Teal'c, at Sam—

Then Jack.

"Daniel?" The older man said once again, stepping forward only to have Daniel take a step back.

"Oh my God…"

Sam tried to reach him, but Daniel stumbled away until his back was up against a tree that was along the trail.

"Oh my God," Daniel repeated again in a dazed voice. He looked at Jack, his eyes wide, everything from confusion, fear, to pain fleeting across them.

"I-I died..."

Jack closed his eyes. _Not that...please...not that. _

The young man leaned heavily on the tree until his legs no longer supported him. His knees visibly knocked together as they struggled to hold him up. "I...this light...like fire...God...it hurt...it..." He wrapped his arms protectively around his middle, breathing heavily. No one dared approach him.

"I told them to stop...that we...that I..." Daniel looked up bleakly.

"I died," Daniel's face paled dramatically. He swallowed over and over again, everyone's faces fading in and out, shrouded with mist. His head pounded relentlessly, the needles and throbbing growing once more, beating at his eyes.

He died.

He felt that searing heat. It scored his body like nothing he had ever felt before.

He had died.

"My God...what is all this?" And Daniel fell forward before anyone could catch him.


	15. Chapter 15

_"Daniel, let's go!" Jack hollered as he hobbled behind Carter and Teal'c. Already, he could heard the guards running through the mines, alerted._

_"Coming!" Daniel's voice sounded far away. _

_Jack was about to shout once more, wondering why the archeologist wasn't directly behind him when he heard a staff weapon blast. _

_Shit! They caught up pretty fast, Jack thought._

_Daniel screamed._

_And Jack's feet automatically skidded to a halt._

_Spinning around, eyes wide with shock, Jack realized there was no one behind him. He angrily fired off a shot, and the guards disappeared in a flood of debris. Scrambling back to a smothering pile of rubble, Jack dropped to his knees, sharp rocks cutting at his legs as he frantically shoved the destroyed archway away. A few more hands joined him, and he realized Carter and Teal'c had turned back to help._

_Daniel._

_"He's hurt bad," Carter stated the obvious as she felt for his pulse under the jaw. Jack couldn't stop staring at the dirt streaked face, barely visible under all the rubble._

_He'd never gotten Daniel's chains off. Daniel couldn't run. He never gotten the chains off._

_"Go," Jack said curtly as he reached forward and touched Daniel's face to reassure the unconscious man he was here, to reassure himself Daniel was still alive._

_"Sir?" Sam stuttered in a stunned voice._

_"Go! Get out of here. Get back to the Stargate and get—" Jack lifted his head when a shadow cast over Daniel's body and saw them. He raised his hands as did the rest of his team, staring at the guards pointing their staff weapons at their heads. As they hauled him up, his eyes drifted over to Daniel, and he could have sworn he saw the young man's chest still._

"Sir?"

Jack gasped, his body jolting awake at the electric touch on his shoulder. Eyes focusing, he saw Carter kneeling over him, damp towel in her hands. Teal'c was standing guard, but his eyes wandered over to them every so often.

"Thanks," the colonel managed and took the cloth. "Any sign of our pet?"

Carter shook her head. "No. It took off after its attempt. Haven't seen any sign of it returning."

Jack absently nodded and looked down at Daniel, the young man curled up against his thigh, everyone's jackets covering him like a cocoon. It reminded him eerily of that mine, Daniel buried under rubble. Buried, because **he** didn't bother to remember Daniel's leg irons were still on. The jackets covered his friend's face halfway, and if Jack closed his eyes, he could still see the shattered glasses twisted around a still face.

Jack's hand bunched into a fist around the cloth, and water trickled down between his fingers.

"Sir?"

Jack roused himself out of his thoughts. "Help me with him, will ya?"

"Sure," Carter murmured, reaching out and pulling Daniel to a sitting position. The young man moaned softly and shivered as the jackets slipped off. Settling him against Jack's shoulder, Sam retrieved the jackets and tucked them in more securely. She murmured reassuringly when Daniel made a small sound, indicating he was still cold.

"We better see if we can get him to eat something." Jack's quiet voice filtered into her thoughts and she looked up.

"He wasn't able to keep anything down before."

"Yeah. That and the running around are having him go on empty. Just water it down. Make it a soup or something. I rather he has something in him before we give him any painkillers."

"Yes sir."

"Cold..."

Jack looked down and saw Daniel sliding towards him, mumbling in his sleep. He fished his arm behind and drew his friend closer. To his surprise, the archeologist shuddered, but instead of moving away, huddled in to the closest source of heat.

"I really hate to wake him, sir."

Jack glanced at Carter who was holding the tin cup, mild regret on her face. "It seems each time he does, he's just remembering more bad stuff."

Jack's face darkened. "I know." He instinctively tightened his arm, and Daniel murmured, frowning in his sleep. The colonel rubbed his arm absently. Peering up again, he saw Carter smiling sadly.

"What?"

Shrugging, Carter handed him the tin cup. Jack took it and shifted so Daniel was sitting up again. Daniel didn't seem too happy with that, his head lolling back. Sam went over and sat down on the other side, pinning Daniel in between. Jack grunted his thanks, wondering why Carter was smiling still as he tilted the cup to Daniel's lips.

"N…"

"It's okay." Jack murmured. His hand went up to cup Daniel's cheek closer to the container. "It's just Carter's cooking. I would hurl too, but—"

"Hey," Sam admonished, but didn't sound angry. She exchanged an amused look with Teal'c as Daniel frowned, turning his head away, the liquid dribbling down his chin. The colonel sighed and tilted the cup more insistently against his friend's lips. Finally, Daniel obediently opened, the warm liquid trickling down his throat before he mumbled another protest. Jack pulled back the cup.

"We might as well grab a break and wait 'til morning," Jack muttered as he watched Daniel shiver once more. He eased Daniel back down again, the sandy hair on top of a folded jacket. Sam wrapped a sleeping bag around Daniel's legs as Jack tucked the other around his torso. He frowned when the archeologist moaned again about being cold.

"Sir? You want us to watch him?" Sam took back the cup as Jack shook his head.

"Nah. Let him sleep." He arched an eyebrow when Daniel shuffled a bit, his head now awkwardly halfway on Jack's lap. With an exasperated sigh, Jack shifted a bit, allowing his lap to pillow Daniel's head and shook his head ruefully.

"Watch it, sir. Your soft spot is showing."

Jack growled at Carter who smiled once more, her finger tapping Daniel at the cheek, murmuring good night before she retreated. The colonel shook his head, frowned at Teal'c's arched eyebrow and settled himself down to guard his friend's slumber.

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"...something..."

Daniel felt like he was floating, a welcome feeling after the constant pounding, aching, pulling feeling. Shifting slightly, he felt the cold biting into his skin until something heavy was placed over him and he felt...

Warm.

He hadn't felt that way in a long time.

Did he ever felt that way before?

_Once._

But now they're gone.

_No...wait..._

There was another time.

But she was gone too.

Back on a planet he was told he couldn't go back to.

Daniel could see her standing there still, and he tried calling out, telling her to come with him. But he couldn't hear his voice.

A hand was over his head. It felt reassuring. He thought he heard a voice as something was tilted towards him. He frowned. Whatever it was...didn't smell very nice.

"Carter's...cooking...too..."

He couldn't tell who it was, but the voice was familiar. He opened his mouth and let the warmth in. He couldn't taste anything, but it did make him feel a little better.

But he was still cold.

He must have said it out loud because he felt himself falling against something soft and warm. It was such an odd feeling. He didn't want to lose it.

"...sleep..."

Yes, sleep. He was so tired. So many things to think about. He didn't want to. There was so many...bad things...

He frowned.

A hand patted his head, voice murmuring how it would be okay. And for once-

Daniel believed it.

Sighing once more, burrowing into whatever that warm feeling was, he slept.

And felt safe.

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The colonel shifted slightly, trying to lean against the tree to give Daniel more support. The young man murmured, waking slightly from the movement.

Feverish eyes opening, Daniel jerked when he saw he was halfway across Jack's lap. He closed his eyes tightly as he felt the early morning sun beat down on his face.

"C-colonel?"

Jack winced. He'd never realized how much he hated hearing Daniel call him that.

"Jack."

"What?" Daniel was still groggy.

"Jack...you never called me Colonel...just Jack."

The archeologist blinked, looking at Jack funny as the older man took the damp towel from Carter and placed it over his forehead.

"Cold."

Jack nodded. "Yeah...that's why you're sort of...ahem...well..."

"Lying on top of you?"

The older man rolled his eyes. "Well, Carter tried, but you sort of kicked her off."

Daniel blinked, looking utterly horrified.

"It was a joke, Daniel."

"Oh." The young man winced.

"Headache?"

Daniel nodded slowly. He was startled to see two white pills and a canteen.

"Take this, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c rumbled. "It will ease your discomfort."

"Uh...um...thank you." The young man sat up a bit, sagging back when the world began to spin. Jack sighed and moved so Daniel was sitting up, leaning heavily on his shoulder. He adjusted the covers over the young man, fixing Teal'c's jacket so it didn't fall off his friend's shoulders and found himself being stared at.

"What?"

Daniel looked away, appearing embarrassed.

"What?" Did Jack's eyes start glowing? "What?"

"Nothing," Daniel mumbled.

"Daniel—" Jack's heart sank when the young man didn't respond to his usual "don't argue with me and spit it out" tone. So, he sharpened his voice.

"Jackson!"

Daniel jumped. Jack immediately regretted his decision when he saw an emotion in his friend's eyes he thought he would never see directed at him.

Fear.

"Daniel," Jack softened his voice. "What is it?"

The young man ducked his head. "Nothing really. I just...I remember you from Abydos. I just...you're..." Daniel flushed as if wondering if he was overstepping some line.

"You seem different from what I **do** remember," Daniel confessed.

Jack looked up and found Carter and Teal'c mysteriously gone over to the dull campfire making breakfast. He cleared his voice.

"I am." The colonel looked away, deep in thought. "I didn't go into the project with the same motivations you did, Daniel."

Daniel tilted his head. He lowered his voice as if afraid to say it out loud. "I died."

Jack's throat went dry. He nodded and rasped. "Yeah…" _Three times, not counting false alarms from walking seafood._

"H-how—" Daniel stuttered as he shuffled away and pulled his knees up again.

"A sarcophagus," Jack croaked out. "He stuck you in that thing, and it got you back." _And we never knew what it could do. What it did to you._

_The gunshot shattered the lights above him. Jack felt splinters of glass rain on him._

_"Are you trying to kill me?"_

_"You're trying to kill me!"_

"Sarcophagus?"

"Ra used it to sustain his life." Jack wished he didn't have to explain. It was the one thing he didn't want Daniel to remember. It was something Jack would never forget. He could still remember nights hearing Daniel scream from the pain of withdrawal, fingers curling to tight fists as he fought the restraints, the voice that use to ramble away with such intelligence broken down to sobs and begging.

"It would explain how he could survive so many years," Daniel mused. "He was supposed to be parasitic. Taking a human host as the writings on the wall said may have been so the sarcophagus could heal him much easier. And maybe that's why he was watching over Abydos with an iron fist. He needed what the mines had."

"Bingo." Jack smiled wanly. "You're right. You were right back then, too."

"Oh." Daniel chewed on his thumb, trying to ignore the fluttering in his stomach, feeling strangely pleased over the fact and the colonel's admittance.

Sam came over and quietly set down a plate of something hot, and he smiled politely. The woman smiled in return, but it looked sad when he forgot and called her Captain again. Daniel looked away, finding himself oddly upset over that look. He never had to worry about what other people thought. People calling him all sorts of names due to his strange theories were nothing new.

So why did he felt so…anxious to make sure what he said to these people was right?

"You okay?"

Daniel glanced at Jack once again. He shrugged.

Mentally sighing, the colonel watched the rest of his team pack up the site. They looked over occasionally, and he suspected they could hear everything, but they wisely stayed back even though they looked like they wanted to sit down on the dirt with him. Jack leaned next to Daniel and stared at the sky slowly turning blue as the sun rose to greet a new day. He made a face, his arm and his side both throbbing in unison. It reminded him of his own vulnerability and of the fact that Daniel, too, never came out of anything unscathed.

_Did he sit like this at times? Feeling every muscle pull the minute you try to breathe? What was he thinking? What made him get up from that infirmary and go through that Stargate again with us? I can't believe it was just to finding Sha're and Skaara. _

Jack rubbed his face with his hands, the hint of hair scratching his palms, telling him he hadn't shaved. It made him feel rough, clumsy. He frowned.

_How did I look to him then? _The colonel glanced over to Daniel, the young man staring at Carter and Teal'c intently as if he was deciphering a puzzle. _How did my face convince him to trust me? _

Daniel might never remember.

Jack felt his hands bunch. The thought of his friend calling him "Colonel" made him nauseous. It reminded him too much of that year. Of him sitting in his son's room, stroking the gun in his hands as he would Sara, his wife washing dishes as loud as she could outside to remind him there was someone else alive out there grieving as well.

_When did sitting in the room of a child no longer here, grieving the dead become sitting here right now worrying about the living?_

"So…" Daniel said suddenly. Jack jumped at the sound.

"I…um…died then didn't…what happened after that?" Daniel looked over to Jack and then turned away. "That is if I can ask…I mean…it's not need to know or anything, is it?"

Jack closed his eyes briefly.

"Colonel?"

_Jack. You only called me colonel during that first mission, Daniel._

"You stayed there for a year with her, Daniel."

The archeologist stared at Jack. "Oh." The colonel arched an eyebrow towards him.

"That's it? Just oh?" He would have thought Daniel would be pleased.

"I-I only remember her back at the tent. And when she saw us go." Daniel's voice sounded sad. Jack nodded solemnly.

"You stayed with her, Daniel. Her and Skaara. You guys married under their law."

A smile crept up in Daniel's face for a brief moment. "Really?" His eyes glazed over. "I was hoping that time wasn't be the last time I saw her." Then, Daniel's face fell. "There's more isn't there? This wasn't a fairy tale ending, was it?" He looked at Jack steadily. "There's a but in there. Isn't there?"

The colonel reluctantly nodded, and Daniel dropped his head.

"Something happened." Jack paused. God, how was he going to say it?

"Sha're?" Daniel's voice was barely a whisper.

"She's not waiting for you in Abydos anymore, Daniel. She's waiting for you to save her."

"What?" He sat up, eyes glued to Jack's face.

Taking a deep breath, the colonel looked back as steadily as possible.

"After we went back, what you last remembered…Ra was waiting for us there."

Daniel nodded, and Jack saw he didn't really understand.

"Ra was…well…he was a Gou'ald, Daniel."

"Eyes."

"Huh?" Jack stopped. The archeologist swallowed, looking nervous.

"Eyes that glowed, right?"

"You remember?" The colonel sat up straighter.

"No, I…something flash about…um…Captain Carter…I could have sworn I saw her eyes g-glow."

Jack glanced over to Carter and saw her back stiffen, having heard every word. "She was taken as a host once."

"…Oh." Daniel chewed his lip, deep in thought. He lifted his head. Daniel lowered his voice. "She's not anymore…is she?"

Jack shook his head. "Anyway, we clashed with Ra," _Translation: we got our asses kicked, me tossed in the brink and you a hole in your gut. _"And Sha're and Skaara got us out." _After you pulled that freaky stunt of turning around to shoot Ra._ _Then nearly choked to death on that sandstorm. _"And then we got rid of Ra." _Blew him up. Itsy bitsy pieces._

"So I stayed after that?" Daniel's voice sounded relieved. "I didn't just leave?"

Jack's voice was quiet, steady, but it seemed to shout out in the woods. "You didn't."

"So…what happened to her?"

"They came back."

"They…?" Daniel frowned. "They? Who's they?"

_The only reason you left what you said were home for you._ "The Goa'ulds. Apophis."

"You mean—?"

"There were more out there like Ra."

The scientist looked away.

"Daniel?"

"Is…is she…dead?"

"No."

A deep sigh of relief. "So she's out there?"

"…Yeah."

Daniel looked at the ground. Absently, he noted little insects scrambling under the grass and crushed leaves. He flicked a pebble away and watched them scatter, their perfect world disrupted.

"Daniel?"

"I wish…" Daniel whispered. "Wish I could remember that year."

Jack nodded. "Yeah."

"So…I'm here to…?" The archeologist's voice trailed off.

"To find them."

"Them?"

Jack swore softly as he saw Daniel's pale face, his mouth trembling.

"Sha're…and Skaara."

"Oh God. B-both of them" Daniel looked distressed. Jack was amazed to see him so distraught, even when the memories of them were gone from his mind. They were virtually strangers, and here was Daniel despairing over their plight.

"Why…why didn't I leave the Stargate buried?"

_You did, but you reopened it._ Jack kept his mouth shut. Daniel moaned and cradled his head.

"It's been a year. Have I…have we found them at all?" Daniel's voice trembled.

The colonel didn't meet his eyes. He saw Teal'c and Carter looking at him worriedly. Gritting his teeth, he opened his mouth to answer.

"Teal'c…" Daniel raised his gaze and stared at the Jaffa from a distance. The warrior lifted his head, hearing his name mentioned. When the alien saw the shocked pallor on Daniel's face, Teal'c took a step forward.

"You…you were with Apophis." Daniel remembered what the alien told him.

Everyone stiffened. Teal'c nodded slowly, not saying a word.

"Sha're—"

Teal'c went over and knelt in front of Daniel, looking directly in his eyes. "Yes."

Just one word. Very simple, but Jack heard all the regret and guilt brimming in that one word. And he saw Daniel crumble.

"Did…" Daniel's voice cracked. He didn't notice Sam by his side now or Jack's hand on his arm. "Did I ever…ever ask why?"

_"I'm okay…well…not really…" Daniel's head was turned away a bit as he spoke to O'Neill. "I know he didn't really have a choice. Did you?" He directed the last question to Teal'c._

_Teal'c lowered his eyes as he spoke. "I could not refuse Apophis. He would have killed them all and order us to bring more to him."_

The Jaffa shook his head. "No, you did not."

Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He shuddered a bit before opening his eyes again.

"Then I'm not going to ask." The archeologist rested his chin on his knees again, turning his head away to stare blankly at the distant fields where the bridge waited to return them home.

"I mean, if I didn't ask before w-why ask now?"

Teal'c studied the young man for a long moment.

"She held great fire, Daniel Jackson. Apophis wished for a woman of strength, of spirit and beauty for his bride, his Queen. Those he rejected were killed. Each one I selected with a heavy heart."

"You don't have to—" Daniel started, lifting his head. Teal'c put up his hand to stop him. Jack nodded solemnly, and the Jaffa continued.

"Each one I took, I prayed was the one. Then, no more would die."

"The rejected ones were killed," Daniel murmured. Teal'c tipped his head slightly.

"Yes. Apophis was pleased with my selection, and the rest were returned to the dungeons." Teal'c looked back at Jack and Sam. "Where O'Neill was. He freed them all."

"You had a part in it too, Teal'c," Jack said quietly.

"And I saw hope for more to be freed," Teal'c added. "So I joined your fight."

"If Sha're was rejected, she would have been dead," Daniel said dully. Jack squeezed his arm briefly.

"That is correct, Daniel Jackson."

"So in becoming his…Queen, she stays alive and out there…" Daniel swallowed.

"Many were spared when she was chosen," the Jaffa said.

"S-should we get going?" Daniel murmured. He got up shakily, pulling back from Teal'c's offered hand.

Jack started. "Daniel."

The archeologist shook his head. "I'm okay…I mean…I don't remember her m-much…it's not so bad…" His voice sounded calm, but Jack saw a slight tremble in his hand as he fingered a loose lock away from his forehead. "It's okay…it's okay…" He started walking towards the direction for the bridge.

"Daniel Jackson."

Daniel stopped, but didn't turn around. "What?"

"I have always regretted my decision. I have sworn I will find your family." Teal'c stood up straighter, his voice deep and serious. "And I shall."

"My family…" Daniel repeated in a flat voice. "I think I know why I didn't ask you…why…" Shoulders hunched forward a bit before he straightened. In a false bright voice, Daniel turned around. "Well if I'm going to find them I b-better get going then, huh?"

"Wait up." Jack called out, jogging forward to Daniel. The young man followed his progress and when Jack stopped at his side, Daniel whispered. "So tell me, where are we going again?"

Jack felt his heart clench. Daniel looked so lost. It was like déjà vu, him standing in the corridor, in a jumpsuit too big with a face too young for eyes that old.

"We're going home, Daniel."

The young man nodded.

"Then let's go. I want to see this…_home_…you're talking about. See what it means now." With that, Daniel started walking not even waiting for Jack to grab his backpack first.


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note : One more chapter to go. Thank you for your reviews. Next one is going to be a "tad" longer stemming from a fanzine novel published YEARS ago. Hope you'll stick around for it!

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Every so often, Jack glanced over to Daniel as they trekked across the field towards the bridge. He frowned, half concerned over the need to cross the bridge, half-concerned over the silent man stumbling besides him.

Okay…maybe **more** than half.

"Can I…" Daniel turned his head slightly towards him. When Jack looked over, the young man snapped his face forward again.

"Can I ask you a question?"

Jack's mouth turned down a bit. But then he schooled it to a neutral face. "Daniel, you don't need to ask for permission."

"Oh…" Daniel considered this for a moment, eyes down as he concentrated on walking straight. He shook his head when Jack tried to reach over to help and just smiled wanly.

"Um…before you know, back there…you said…" The archeologist looked embarrassed. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets, the uncertainty in his posture and face enough to make Jack's teeth ache.

"You said you didn't go into the project with the same motivations as I did." Daniel edged closer to Jack, eyes front. His voice lowered to a whisper as if afraid to betray his secret. "What did you mean?"

Jack glanced in front of him, Carter and Teal'c didn't turn around. The two kept a steady, easy pace for them to catch up. Jack slowed down a bit, not knowing why he was reluctant to have them hear as well.

"My kid." Jack swallowed. _You would think it gets easier, but it doesn't. _"A while back, before I got asked into the project, he…died. In an accident." _An accident that should have never happened._

"Oh God." Daniel skidded to a halt, his eyes wide. Jack stopped and looked at him.

"Hey, it's okay." _No, it's not._ "It's been a while." _Though it still feels like yesterday._ "No one should ever have to out live their own child. It just isn't right." Jack didn't know why he repeated that. Why he even brought that up. But he could still see himself shrouded in the dark, gun cradled in his hand. Only not in his kid's room. But in a cave with a sandstorm blowing outside, a young scientist standing behind him.

"I didn't mean to…I am…God…I'm so sorry." Daniel's face held a sadness, an understanding that made Jack nauseous.

"It's okay," Jack repeated dully. He motioned they should keep walking and nodded towards the others when they had stopped to wait. The quiet procession began again, and Jack mulled over his own thoughts.

"I'm really sorry."

The colonel lifted his eyes and saw Daniel's face, regretful and dismayed. He managed a smile.

"Hey, I said it was okay."

"No it isn't."

Jack blinked. Daniel's voice was low and for a moment, he thought perhaps he was mistaken.

Daniel kept his eyes on Carter and Teal'c's backs as if to check if they were eavesdropping. Jack didn't mind. They knew about this already, but he smiled at bit at the sight of Daniel trying to protect his privacy even if the young man wasn't even aware of doing it himself.

"You loved him very much."

Jack looked away, uncomfortable. "…Yeah."

"The whole world seems to change when they go away." Daniel's voice sounded faraway, his eyes dull and unseeing. "And nothing else seems to matter at that point. Just the fact you're all alone now."

The colonel swallowed, the conversation taking an unexpected turn that made his nerves rattle. He studied Daniel, and it struck him that his friend wasn't just talking about him anymore.

He was talking about himself.

And it saddened Jack to realize Daniel might not have been just referring to his parents either.

_He's lost so much. It's not fair._

Then again, who said life was ever fair?

"You're wrong, you know."

Jack darted a look at Daniel. "Huh?"

"We did have the same motivations…" Daniel refused to look Jack in the eye. "There was nowhere else I could go. No place left for me to turn to. No on—" He coughed. "I thought I had nothing left to have me stay. I was willing to take the risk, write up the loss as fate." He glanced over to Jack then diverted his eyes back to the front. Sunlight filtered through dwindling trees, and the colonel clearly saw the thoughtful look in Daniel's eyes.

"And I suspect it was the same for you?"

Jack said nothing as they walked. He could see the clearing a few meters ahead, the bridge beyond that. The colonel chewed his lip, Daniel's words echoing in his head.

"I didn't write up the loss as fate," Jack said finally. "I wrote it up as someone up there not keeping tabs on who deserves it or not."

"No one deserves to go so quickly," Daniel whispered hoarsely. "No one."

Jack peered over to him with a frown. Again, he couldn't tell who Daniel was talking about—his parents or Sha're.

"Skaara reminded me of my kid," Jack commented, eyes forward, his legs forcing themselves to take more steps. His side was beginning to bother him again. Trying to be inconspicuous, he rubbed at the bandaging with a rueful grimace.

Daniel folded his arms in front of him, feeling suddenly so tired again. "Sha're reminded me of everything I wished I had."

The colonel nodded. He could see Teal'c and Carter slowing down, reaching their destination.

"O'Neill, we have arrived by the bridge," Teal'c announced in too loud a voice. Jack grinned, knowing full well that it was because they were afraid to interrupt the conversation.

Daniel looked at the path that led them to a space where the trees were sparse. The clearing opened up to a view of massive red cliffs, crowned with white mists and dotted with caves like a beehive.

_Caves._

"Oh my God," Daniel breathed. "It's just like something…I mean…it almost looks like…I…" Forgetting how high up they were, Daniel quickened his pace until he was close to the edge. Carter gave Jack an amused look as the archeologist, headache forgotten, gaped at the scene.

"It's like the Anasazi in—What?" Daniel caught Sam's smile.

Sheepishly, Carter grinned. "Sorry, it's just…déjà vu, Daniel."

"Excuse me?" Daniel looked over to Jack. The colonel grinned.

"You said that the last time we were here, Daniel."

"…Oh." The young man thought about it for a moment. "Well, I agree with my assessment then." He gave a shy smile which Jack returned. Coughing nervously, Daniel eyed the rope bridge swaying in the breeze, the other side barely visible in the wisps of clouds.

"Did we fall off that?" the archeologist asked softly.

Jack's smile faded. "No," the colonel replied shortly. His eyes darkened. "It was on the stairs."

_"Daniel! Let go of my hand!"_

_"Let go! I'm pulling you down with me!" _

"Daniel?" Sam touched his shoulder lightly and Daniel shuddered.

"Hey." The colonel's concerned face hovered in front of him. Daniel gave a weak smile to show he was okay.

"I could go first," Sam offered.

Jack nodded. "Good idea, Carter. I'll follow after and Daniel, you can go after me."

"I'm okay."

"Daniel," Jack said sternly before the archeologist could continue. The young man fell silent. Wary blue eyes looked back at him. The colonel mentally sighed and continued on. "I'm not saying that I don't think you can, but right now Carter and Teal'c are more alert than you and I to watch out for our friend."

"Friend?" Daniel's face was blank. Then, it dawned to him, and he nodded. "Oh."

"Yeah," Jack drawled. "To be honest, I wouldn't see a dinosaur dressed in a pink tutu right now even if it went right up and kissed me on the smacker!"

The young man chuckled to everyone's surprise. Daniel stopped, looking unsure, but when the others just smiled, he returned the gesture.

"Shall we?" Jack made a grand sweeping gesture towards the bridge, and Sam made a face as she walked past him onto the structure. She got on, turned around, and gave a thumbs up sign before continuing. After a moment, Jack got on, motioning Daniel to follow him. The young man stared at his departing back, muttering to himself before getting on. Teal'c followed after that, his staff weapon steady as he kept looking back to guard their rear.

"So far so good, sir," Carter called out, both hands on the rope rails. She looked straight ahead, not even looking at the caves on the side of the cliff they were approaching.

"Thanks for the update, Captain," Jack muttered. He could hear Daniel behind him, breathing heavily. "You okay, back there?"

Daniel mumbled, "Fine" as he concentrated on making sure his feet stepped squarely on the boards, swallowing as he saw the gaps in between.

"Keep your eyes up, and you'll be fine."

The archeologist lifted his head in surprise. Jack wasn't looking his way yet knew Daniel was looking down. Gulping, Daniel nodded and concentrated on staring at the colonel's back and the shredded backpack the soldier still held onto. He calmed a bit and began to feel a little foolish.

"If you ask me, we should have just climbed all the way around instead," Jack muttered abruptly.

Daniel blinked.

"Just three meters more, sir!" Carter called out. "And watch out for the fallen board!"

"Yeah yeah," the colonel grumbled. He twisted around and studied Daniel critically up and down before facing front again. Daniel found himself a bit confused. O'Neill looked like he wanted to ask him something, but changed his mind.

"What?"

The colonel shrugged, not turning around again. Daniel shook his head and kept walking carefully. As they got midway across the bridge, he saw the caves a little better, the dots forming holes and shapes. He froze.

"Bones..."

Jack's foot was still halfway up when he heard. Turning around, the colonel peered over to the young man. "What?" Carter stopped a few feet in front of him, twisting around worriedly to see why they had halted.

Daniel's mouth was opened in shock, his eyes staring at the blurred outlines diagonally below the bridge. "There were bones in there."

Guiltily, Jack remembered Daniel mentioning it before. He nodded.

"They...I think I...they were smooth like sanded down." Daniel ran his tongue over his lips, his voice hoarse. "Like they were chewed on...or—"

"Eaten," Jack concluded. His face darkened. "And I think I don't need to guess by whom."

A roar filled the valley.

Spinning around, Jack saw the beast at the end of the bridge they'd left behind. It stood on its hind legs, howling as it caught sight of them standing in the middle of the structure. Its sleek black fur matted with blood, wounded from its previous encounters with the humans, the animal didn't look weak. Rather, it looked incensed.

"Oh shit, it's back," Jack cursed, automatically grabbing Daniel's forearm. The young man started, tearing his eyes away from the creature to gawk at Jack. The colonel was already trying to squeeze around him to put himself up front.

"Heads up!" Carter shouted, accompanied by a click.

Jack grabbed Daniel by the top of his head, muttering an apology when that elicited a painful yelp and pushed him down. Crouching, the three men ducked as Carter grimly fired off a shot from her weapon.

The animal dropped on all fours and avoided the bullet.

"It's learning," Daniel whispered. "It recognized the gun as a threat."

"Great. Just what we need. A monster with a diploma," Jack groused, his fingers curling automatically down at his empty holster before he remembered he was unarmed. Swearing softly, he pressed his friend closer to the boards as Carter fired one more shot.

Teal'c straightened and fired a shot with his staff weapon.

Flinching, Daniel watched under Jack's elbow at the creature shrieking at them as if cursing them. But it didn't dare approach.

"Come on," Jack hissed. "We got to get off this damn thing!" He hauled Daniel up and roughly half dragged him across to reach the other side to safety. Teal'c stood midway, blocking the animal's path, his staff weapon aimed right at it.

"What about him?" Daniel hissed, skidding to a halt and jerking Jack to a stop as well.

"He'll be fine. We got to get going, now!" The colonel brusquely pulled the scientist along. Daniel stared at Teal'c's back, the Jaffa not budging even as the beast stepped on the bridge.

At the first creak, everyone froze. Carter got to solid ground and spun around to see where the others were. Her gun and arm a straight arrow in the direction of the animal, she yelled at Teal'c to duck. When the alien did, she immediately fired off another shot. She wished she had her rifle still, her sidearm not formidable in such long ranges. When the creature merely staggered back before continuing, Carter began to wish she had a bazooka.

"Why isn't he using that thing?" Daniel whispered. He stumbled into one of the cracks between the boards. Jack steadied him as he watched Teal'c facing the creature.

"Because one blast might take that thing **and** the bridge. And I don't think that would be any good. Last thing we need is another dip in the river."

Daniel swallowed, nodding. "I agree." He shakily got up, clutching the rails. "But if we can destroy the bridge with it on it…" He trailed off, unsure how Jack would take the suggestion.

The colonel stared at him, his eyes wide. Seconds later, he broke into a smile. Daniel blinked in surprise.

"Teal'c! Get off the bridge now!" Jack hollered as he continued to drag Daniel with him. "We'll cut the thing out from under him!"

The Jaffa stepped backwards slowly, dark gaze pinned on the animal, his weapon still fixed on it. The creature growled, sensing his attempt to escape. Screaming, it grabbed at the rails and shook them with its paws.

"Shit!" Jack stumbled as the bridge whipped. Carter shouted a warning, but it was too late as he felt himself rolling off the side between the ropes. A hand lashed out and grabbed him by the arm. Jack gawked at the sight of his gun, loosely hung in his holster, tumbling out and disappearing in the mists below. Lifting his head, he saw Daniel's red face, arms clutching tightly at his arm.

Scrambling up, Jack gasped out a "Thanks" before he felt himself being hauled up by Daniel. Standing precariously on the structure, Jack clasped Daniel's shoulder a brief moment.

The animal was still shaking the rails. Jack swore as he felt the boards buck under their feet. He shouted over his shoulder for Teal'c to hurry, and he and Daniel began to run for the last stretch of the bridge.

Snap.

"Sir!"

"I didn't hear that," Jack muttered, his hand reaching back and finding Daniel's arm again. The young man didn't protest as he tried to pick up his pace as well.

Snap.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c bellowed. "You must get off this bridge!" The Jaffa gave Daniel a rough push to hurry him to safety. Daniel stumbled into Jack, and the two men reached solid ground, gasping.

The creature was now completely on the bridge. Jack spun around as he heard one more strand of rope snapping, its break loud as a crack of a whip.

"Teal'c!"

The Jaffa barely grunted, falling on his back, the shot he fired going off into the sky harmlessly, his staff weapon spinning out of the bridge. The animal tackled him, teeth bared as it sought for blood.

Daniel pulled his arm away from Jack's grip and started back for the Jaffa.

"No, Daniel Jackson!" Teal'c must have seen him coming. He kicked out, shoving the beast off his body and twisted around. The usual stoic face held open concern.

Jack started to get back on the bridge when he heard one last snap. Daniel skidded to a halt at the sound.

Teal'c wasted no more time. The animal howled as it righted itself and charged the Jaffa.

Running full speed, the ropes tying the boards to rails unraveling one by one, the bridge began to sag. Teal'c grabbed Daniel by the arm just before the poles that anchored the bridge on the side they entered bent. Then, the left rope rail broke.

He was falling all over again.

Daniel shouted, his arm automatically reaching out for anything when he felt the bridge collapse on one end, swinging towards the direction they were trying to reach. He could hear Jack shouting something and even Carter too. But he was more acutely aware of the steel grip Teal'c had on his arm before and was suddenly gone.

Hands found the right rail, still attached on Carter's side. Desperate, he clutched onto the rope, gasping as the vibrating attachment coiled around his left wrist like a bind, the bridge like a ladder swinging towards the cliff face. It smacked into the wall and he vaguely heard more shouting, but couldn't tell if it was from him or from the others. With a yank, Daniel found himself stopped from his descent, the rope wrapping around his wrist tightening painfully.

"Daniel!" Jack shouted, horrified as he lost sight of the young man. _This can't be happening_, Jack thought as he scrambled to the edge. Peering over, he sagged with relief when he saw Daniel, a few feet away. "Thank G—Where's Teal'c?"

The archeologist looked down, remembering the Jaffa letting go before and paled when he saw the warrior clinging to a broken board, kicking at the animal, still stubbornly clutching to the bridge.

Carter saw the remaining stakes on their side began to shake. "Sir! They're not going to hold on much longer!"

"Give me your hand!" Jack stuck out his arm towards Daniel. "Come on!"

Daniel didn't answer. He whipped around to Teal'c, his arm outstretched. "Over here!" He called out desperately, a strange feeling of panic fluttering in his chest as he saw the board Teal'c was standing on like a rung was beginning to crack.

The Jaffa snarled something in his language, kicking furiously at the beast as it clawed his leg. Daniel yelped as its struggles shook the bridge, and he found himself slamming against the wall. He gritted his teeth as the rope tightened around his wrist. But he didn't dare retract his hand. Teal'c couldn't reach it with the animal viciously hooked onto his pants leg.

_He was the one who chose Sha're._

Daniel stared at the Jaffa, his gold tattoo flashing every so often as he turned back his head and tried to climb up.

_Sha're's not here because of him. _Daniel's hand wavered. But he had forgiven him. That's what they said. They said they were all friends. He could trust them. But—

"Go!" Teal'c shouted. His head whipped back, and he stared right at Daniel. "Go! It is too dangerous to remain on this structure!"

The bridge shook once more to empathize this. Daniel closed his eyes as waves of pain radiated from his caught wrist. He shouted when he felt a hand touching it. Lifting his head, he saw Jack reaching down, straining to reach him, one arm trembling with strain as it held on to the last remaining rail.

"Come on, I got you." Jack panted, his red face hovering inches away. Daniel shook his head.

"We have to help him!"

"I will be fine!" Teal'c shouted, giving one last kick before the animal jerked back with a howl. He hauled himself higher up the dangling bridge until he was below Daniel's legs. "Go!"

"My hand..." Daniel grated out. He could feel the coarse rope digging into his flesh. "Tangled…"

"Carter! Your knife!" Jack shouted, reaching back for the utility. He turned back to Teal'c. "Get up here before the—"

The board under Teal'c's boot snapped, and the Jaffa lost his grip. Daniel shouted, his arm whipping back out again, purely on instinct and caught one of Teal'c's hands.

"God!" Daniel gasped out as the weight pulled at his other wrist, the rope cutting in like a wire. The creature started back up the bridge again, and the ropes shook. Agony raced up his arm.

"O'Neill! The knife!" Teal'c shouted, reaching up one hand. Daniel groaned as each movement shook the rope more.

Jack, without hesitation, tossed the blade down. Teal'c deftly caught it. Whipping around, he used it to hack at the rope behind him.

The animal clawed the boards, trying to reach higher, stopping every so often to shake its head, dazed from its past injuries. It screamed as if it knew what the Jaffa was doing. Teal'c kept sawing at it, swinging precariously from Daniel's grip.

"Hurry...hurry..." Daniel gasped. He couldn't feel his left hand any more, and his right was cramping at the clawlike grip on Teal'c's arm. "I can't..."

Daniel screamed as the rope grew even more taunt, Teal'c and the animal's weight dragging it down. The beast slid down a bit, clutching the few remaining boards stubbornly.

"Daniel Jackson! Let go of my hand!" Teal'c continued cutting at the rope. He stopped at Daniel's groan. "I will hold something here!"

Jack knew the Jaffa was lying when he saw Teal'c was unable to grab for anything solid. The rope still in one piece, was vibrating like a tightly wound wire, and any boards still attached would dubiously at best support the Jaffa's weight.

"I can hang on...just hurry..." Daniel gritted. The rope stretched further, and the young man looked nauseous as if he was going to pass out. Swearing, the colonel reached for the taut rope trying to give it some slack, but it only caused the coarse surface brushed against tender skin, and Daniel screamed out in pain once more.

Jack blanched.

"Teal'c, just get up here—" Jack yelped when he felt the pole next to him lift up a bit. "Shit!" He grabbed the rope end around the pole and pulled up. He groaned as he felt the weight. Carter came around him and grabbed at the line as well.

"Daniel Jackson—" Teal'c began. Daniel vehemently shook his head.

"I'm not going to let go," the young man gasped. His arm trembled as he tried to pull up. "No matter what you've done… no matter what…" Daniel moaned as the rope tightened more around his other wrist. "I know one thing for sure. I'll regret letting go no matter what I remember!"

The Jaffa stared at Daniel, speechless. He nodded and reached out towards Daniel with his other hand. The archeologist bit his lower lip as he felt the alien grab his belt loops for leverage, pulling up inch by agonizing inch.

"Got him!" Daniel could hear Carter call out. She grunted over his head, trying to pull up the Jaffa. A thud sounded, and Daniel knew Teal'c was on ground.

A hand reached down and grabbed him under the arm. Daniel's head jerked up, and he saw Jack's red face, the strain evident in his clenched jaw. The colonel was literally half off the edge, Teal'c and Carter holding onto his legs. Daniel reached out his hand and grabbed the colonel's, finding himself suddenly elated as if now everything would be right again.

"I'm going to cut you free okay?" Jack called out, and Daniel mutely nodded, his right hand still gripping Jack's tightly. He flinched as he saw the dagger flash, hacking at the coiled rope around his left wrist.

"Colonel! The—"

"I know!" Jack hollered, eyes still on the rope. Daniel dared a look back and saw the creature starting its climb once more, relying on the cracks on the walls and the rope bridge as its rungs. He pulled his knees up, hearing O'Neill grunt as his full weight pulled on one hand. Daniel barely avoided the snapping jaws at his heels.

"Got it!" Jack suddenly shouted. Another hand came out of nowhere grabbing his freed left hand, and Daniel found himself being pulled abruptly over the top. He groaned as he landed on the top, tumbling into a mess of arms and legs with whoever was pulling him.

The beast snarled as its potential victim was snatched away. Reaching, it clawed at the edge it was close at.

"Carter!" Jack snapped, jumping away from the edge when he felt the paw cut through the air inches where his face was before.

The captain threw herself down on her stomach and fired her last two bullets point blank in its face. It gave a scream, paws clamoring on its muzzle. Jack cursed and gave the pole a vicious kick.

It loosened.

Daniel sat there, panting as he saw the pole splinter, then fall over the edge. He watched as the animal gave one last shriek before it kept going, a glimpse of claws scratching uselessly in the air as it carried its howl down to the valley below. The echo faded after a few seconds, and all Daniel could hear now was the three others breathing heavily around him.

"You guys okay?" Sam asked anxiously, her eyes darting back and forth, giving them each a quick look over.

"Fine. Dandy. Swell." Jack gasped as he lay there, arms spread out on the ground, his eyes gawking at the sky above him. "Did I ever mention I hate trees? Or bridges?"

"Once or twice," Sam replied wryly. She looked at Daniel and Teal'c.

"I have, but minor injuries, Captain Carter," Teal'c announced, motioning towards the gashes on his calves. "My symbiote will heal me." He turned towards Daniel.

"Thank you, Daniel Jackson." The Jaffa bowed his head slightly, his eyes solemn. "I am in your debt."

"I seriously doubt I ever collected debts before," Daniel managed, wiping the sweat off his face with the back of his right hand. He winced as Sam took his left and probed the swollen flesh. Jack sat up and looked on worriedly.

"No, you never do," Carter said warmly. She looked over to the colonel and smiled. "Looks good, nothing broken." She murmured an apology when Daniel yelped when she tried to rotate his left shoulder a bit. "Although Janet's going to have a field day with him."

"W-who's Janet?" Daniel asked, grimacing as Carter felt around his wrist bone.

"Oh…" Jack drawled as he got up, brushing the dirt off his pants. "Let's just say you see her everyday." He grinned crookedly. "You're her favorite."

Daniel cocked his head to one side as he heard Carter snicker. "I think maybe I shouldn't ask."

"Ya think?"

"Can I ask one thing though?" Daniel got up shakily with Teal'c's help. The Jaffa smiled as Daniel shyly said thank you.

"Shoot," Jack quipped as he gave the cliff edge one last look. He grunted as he saw no sign of the monster.

"This…this isn't a typical mission, is it?" Daniel asked faintly.

"Uh…" Jack hedged, exchanging a look with Carter.

Daniel sighed. "Never mind." He hobbled over towards the path he spied. "Can we just go home no—" The young man stopped when he realized what he said.

The colonel's smile grew broader. "Yeah. Let's get out of here."


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note : Thank you for reading! Here's the final chapter of this story. Next up is a tad longer. I hope to see you all there.

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"We're here."

Daniel wearily raised his head and stepped away from Jack's support. The long trek back had them stopping far too many times, and at one point, he had to finally admit defeat and asked for help. The team arrived in front of the Stargate bone weary, aching, tired.

The Stargate loomed over them, the chevrons dull and inactive. Daniel stood in front of it in awe. He remembered seeing it the first time, in the embarkation room. Even looking down at it, the Stargate looked large. But here, in where its maker had originally intended it, it looked enormous.

Daniel felt twice as small standing in front of it.

"Hello," the archeologist whispered, knowing he wasn't going to get any answer.

"Carter, you got the symbols?" Jack asked quietly, his eyes on Daniel's back. He was hoping seeing it would have Daniel suddenly jumping up in recollection, but instead, the young man was staring at it like the first time he was introduced to it. It left him a funny taste in his mouth.

"I got them, sir," the captain said just as quietly, flapping the wrinkled notebook in her hand. She flipped over to the pages Daniel last wrote on and went over to the DHD.

"Wait."

Sam paused as Daniel came over tentatively. He looked at the notebook in her hand. Wordlessly, she handed it over to her friend. It only seemed right somehow for Daniel to be the one dialing them home.

"Thank you." Daniel smiled faintly and stared at his own handwriting on the rumpled pages. Sadly, he couldn't see him writing this. It was strange to see his handwriting staring back at him, testifying his involvement with the team.

"Dial us home, Daniel," the colonel just said as Carter got into position to punch in the codes to open the iris.

The archeologist nodded. Slowly, he drifted his hand over to the symbols, matching them to what he wrote. His fingers traced the edges of the raised text, marveling over the simple device.

He punched the first one.

"_Chevron one locked." The technician announced as Daniel stood there watching. He stared at the reddish glow that lit up the brace as it moved on its own to clamp down in position. The inner track began moving once more._

Daniel punched in the second symbol.

_"They're at it again." Kawalsky commented as the sirens rang. Daniel winced as he saw the gray shield whirled shut. He could hear banging as something came through and struck their barriers._

"You okay?" Jack asked as Daniel paused.

"F-fine." Daniel punched in the third symbol.

_"You can't stay awake forever." Sam said, looking at him with some concern. Daniel gave a funny laugh as he lifted his cup._

_"I can try…" His eyes clouded over. "No…you're right. I'll try and get some sleep." He wondered if he was going to see Sha're again in his dreams._

_Sam gripped his arm briefly, murmuring she would see him later._

_Suddenly alone again, no work to do anymore, Daniel felt tired. And isolated._

Chevron four was now locked.

_He wasn't going to leave. Daniel stood there, the castle rumbling underneath him, the walls shaking in sync with the tremors, and he refused to leave. He stood there, in front of this wondrous device, the journal Ernest left and the key to their existence._

_He heard a footfall and turned._

_Jack silently stood there by the doorway. _

_Jack wasn't leaving here._

_Suddenly…the price of this answer was too much._

_And Daniel took one last despairing look at the chamber and turned away. _

_The colonel didn't smile, didn't reproach him, but there was a relieved look in his dark eyes as he followed after Daniel._

"Fifth symbol," Daniel murmured, and he felt Jack and Teal'c stepping in closer to him. It was somehow comforting.

_"SG-1, there's someone who would like to see you."_

_That was his cue. Daniel took a deep breath and took a step forward, his knees still knocking from the moment Janet told him they found them floating in the upper atmosphere in disabled death gliders. Alive. _

_He couldn't get himself to run although he wanted to. His legs were weak. The soldiers must have sensed this and parted slightly to let him through without difficulty. Some patted him on the shoulder. Reaching the center, Daniel stopped, suddenly unsure of what to say._

_"Daniel," Sam breathed, and Daniel shyly looked up._

_Teal'c nodded slightly, a pleased look on his face. And Jack._

_Jack._

_His face held a slight stunned look at first, gawking at the specter before him. Then._

_He broke out into a huge smile._

_Darkness fled the colonel's eyes, and Daniel smiled wider, still unable to understand why he couldn't think of anything to say. But he did take another step closer. He needed to see them. To see them all. To know. They were alive. They were here._

_They won._

_Jack grabbed him around the shoulders, pulling him in. Daniel was too startled to do anything more than return the embrace as he felt Jack pounding his back enthusiastically, before a hand clapped him on the back of the head._

_"Space monkey," Jack murmured in a fond voice Daniel never heard before, and he grinned as they parted._

_They were all here. They truly won._

Daniel looked sideways at Jack, studying him as his hand floated over the sixth symbol. Jack gazed back, puzzled. The archeologist just shrugged one shoulder and smiled to himself as he realized he wanted to slam down on the seventh symbol right now.

So he did.

The column of light and water gushed out in a sparkling display.

Daniel stopped, staring at the Stargate.

"How could I have forgotten this?" Daniel whispered. He could still see the watery reflection when he followed behind the soldiers on that first mission.

"You didn't," Jack said, clasping his shoulder in a gesture that felt familiar to Daniel. "It's in there somewhere."

A hopeful tone came over Daniel's voice. "I hope so."

"Me too." Jack's voice was barely audible. He cleared his throat. "Come on, kids. In you go."

Carter gave Daniel one last look before jumping through. Teal'c, at Jack's nod, stepped through the wormhole as well. And Jack walked alongside Daniel up the platform in front of the Stargate and waited.

Eyes filled with wonder, Daniel brushed his hand across the surface and felt a tingle as energy laced his fingertips. He briefly forgot Jack was standing there as he dipped both hands in, the surface rippling like a pool.

"Daniel, you ready?"

"Not really." Daniel whispered as he withdrew his hands and stared at them. "But, I guess standing here won't do me any good either."

"Take as long as you need," The colonel said. _Just as long as you come back._

Daniel took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Jack, sensing he was ready, took him by the elbow and guided him through. In mid-step, Daniel opened his eyes again just as his face passed into the sparkles of lights.

And was carried away.

The lights stretched to streaks.

_"Then in one year…one year…you take the cover stone away. I will try and bring Sha're home on that day. But if I don't make it back…if I don't-"_

Time slowed to nothing.

_Her hands were soft as she pulled him closer. Before he could repeat that he would be back soon, she engulfed his mouth with her warm lips, and he tasted the sun in hers._

_"Good bye my Dan-yel."_

Space was so cold.

_Sha're. How could I have forgotten about Sha're?_

He felt pulled towards a destination.

_"Then in one year…one year…you take the cover stone away. I will try and bring Sha're home on that day. But if I don't make it back…if I don't-"_

_"Go…I'll watch your back…'_

_"They don't know what to do with me…and I don't know what to do with myself."_

_"It was difficult for me at first, I wanted to hate him. But now I now it was a __**different **__Teal'c that chose Sha're, and I know that if there was any way from him to help me get my wife back he would do it gladly. Even if it meant giving up his own life. This Teal'c is my friend."_

_"My wife is out there, General. I have to be on this team."_

How could he have forgotten?

_"Good bye my Dan-yel."_

Sha're.

"I would rather die than stay here in the knowledge that I will never be able to see my wife and friends again."

His friends.

_"No, _you look, Jack! _ I have everything under control, okay? God, you never show me any respect! Your way didn't work. Now I'm handling it. All you have to do is hang in there!" _

All the things he'd done…

And they were still here.

All the people who left…

_"Stay here, Danny. Mommy has to go with your father first and fix this. Okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"Good bye my Dan-yel."_

He felt so alone before.

_"I am __**not**__ leaving you behind!"_

So alone.

"Daniel! God! What're you going to do, Daniel? Do you want to kill me? Look at you. I know what this is. I know what it's like. You can get through it..."

All the pain…

All the sorrow…

_"I am __**not**__ leaving you behind!"_

He was never alone.

_"I am __**not**__ leaving you behind!"_

How could he have forgotten?

And suddenly, the flashes of light disappeared, and walls and metal materialized around him.

Stunned, the trip that felt like forever ended so abruptly, Daniel felt his legs fold underneath him and landed on the ramp on his knees.

What was silent in journey before became loud.

"We need a medic here!"

"Daniel, you okay?"

"SG-1, stand down!"

"Where's the goddamn medic?"

"Daniel Jackson…"

"Daniel, stay still. We're going to get you—"

"Radiation counters clean, General."

"Danny, hold still, don't get up."

Everything was so loud.

"Get those alarms turned off!"

"Colonel, were there any other injuries you had?"

"No, no...What are you poking around me for? Take a look at him. Not me!"

"Sir, they're just trying to help."

And so familiar.

How could he have forgotten?

"…I remember."

The alarms went silent, and his voice became so loud it rang out in the entire chamber.

Everyone's inquires stopped mid-breath. Jack, his teammates, all stared at him as if he suddenly began talking in Latin.

"What?" Jack wasn't sure he heard correctly.

"I..." Daniel looked up at the colonel as the Stargate flickered off. "I remember."

"You...remember?" Jack was still standing there, not realizing the technicians were waiting to take readings.

"All of it?" Sam asked anxiously.

Daniel gave a funny laugh..."Unfortunately...yes..."

Jack stood there, staring, not really hearing at first. And he stood there as Daniel slowly got up with Teal'c's help, brushed off his pants and shyly extended his hand amidst curious onlookers.

"Hi, Daniel Jackson..." Daniel grinned weakly, wondering how different it might have been if they had started out like that.

Jack stared at the hand.

"Sir?"

"O'Neill?"

Daniel frowned slightly, looking unsure. "J-jack?"

A huge grin broke out on the colonel's face, taking Daniel by surprise. Jack reached out grabbed Daniel by the arm and jerked him forward into a bear hug. A muffled squeak from Daniel was all he heard as he pounded his friend's back with a big whoop.

"Jack!"

Sam laughed as the other soldiers gawked at the sight. She gave Daniel no escape though when she rushed forward and gave him a hug as well. Daniel staggered back, into Teal'c when he was released. He turned warily at the Jaffa and yelped when Teal'c embraced him, nearly lifting him off his feet.

General Hammond, eyeing the spectacle, coughed into the microphone. He saw he wasn't getting their attention and wondered briefly if he should get Doctor Fraiser.

"SG-1?" Hammond looked over to the technician who shrugged. "Welcome back?"

"Thank you, sir!" Jack bellowed, and the rest of the team laughed as like they hadn't in what felt like a long time.

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"Stop poking me," Jack grumbled, waving the hand away. He lay there, arms crossed in front, silently daring Fraiser to try that again.

She stuck a thermometer in Jack's mouth just as he tried to shoo her off. The colonel glared at her. She smiled demurely as the leader griped, the glass device bobbing up and down.

"There are other ways to check your temperature, sir," Carter's voice floated out to him.

Jack glanced across the room to the other bed and grunted.

"You keep talking, and I'll have to do this again to get an accurate reading," Fraiser scolded as she went over to the other bed a foot away. Sam and Teal'c stepped back, making room for her as she pulled out her stethoscope.

"Wa donth see wa yur donth theth—"

"Colonel." Fraiser turned and looked over her shoulder.

Jack shut up. He watched as the petite doctor listened to Daniel's heartbeat, his foot tapping impatiently under his covers. Stuck in bed, side all stitched up, Jack couldn't take his usual seat next to his friend's bed. And anyone who tried to sit there, blocking his view, received a nasty snarl from him. So the seat remained empty. Even Carter sat on the opposite side instead.

"Whall?" Jack mumbled grouchily, ignoring Carter's shushing. He craned his neck, trying to see what was Fraiser doing next.

"Sounds good." Janet folded her instrument neatly back in her pocket. She tapped the IV bottle and nodded, satisfied. "He'll need to keep that wrist in a brace. I don't see any need to bind his ribs. And—"

"He's still asleep, though," Carter broke in worriedly. "I mean...after we got him to the infirmary, he was practically sleeping through the entire examination."

Jack bobbed his head up and down, thermometer still in his mouth.

"Well, keeping him up the past days, waking him up every few hours can do that. He has a concussion so you did the right thing." Fraiser smiled down at Daniel, giving his hand a squeeze. "He's just doing a little catch up now."

"Whaf abu hiss memor ee?" The thermometer wiggled as he asked. The doctor shot him an impatient look.

"Colonel, if you keep this up—"

"Janet, what about his memory?" Sam jumped in anxiously, translating for the colonel.

"Well, from what you've been telling me, he was getting his memory back which is expected. Most amnesia from head trauma usually fades in time. There may be stuff that might not come back or—"

"**Whaf!**" Jack sat up, one hand grabbing his side in response.

"Colonel O'Neill, if you don't calm down—"

"Whaf yuf men of hith memor ee mik co—"

"Colonel O'Neill, will you lie down?"

"Whaf abu hith memor ee?"

"Colonel O'Neill! That thermometer is very expensive! You're breakin—"

"I dun giff a shet abow sum stupif therm—"

"Sir!"

"You keep this up, and I'll have to move you to another room!"

"Sir, I'm sure Janet didn't mean—"

"You are all becoming quite boisterous. Please desist."

"Can you guys be quiet? I'm trying to sleep."

"I'm sorry, Daniel, but the col—Daniel!" Sam squeaked, spinning around. She looked down at the bed and saw a pair of sleepy blue eyes blinking back at her.

Teal'c frowned at everyone. "You have awakened Daniel Jackson."

"Yeah," Daniel's voice was weak, but clear. "You've awakened Daniel Jackson." He waved Janet off as she was about to kick Carter and Teal'c out. "No, can't they stay?"

Janet cringed as she found herself pinned by four pairs of eyes from all directions. Sighing, she rolled her own.

"Fine but you go back to sleep in a few minutes."

"Deal." Daniel smiled wanly. Janet shook her head, muttering something about being a vet instead and started to stalked away. She then stopped, spun at her heels and went back over to Jack.

The colonel watched her warily as she stood there. Janet leaned forward and yanked the thermometer out with a pop.

"I'll be back to do this again," she threatened, stuck the glass piece in her pocket and left.

The room fell silent.

"Well," Jack began.

"Well," Daniel returned.

Everyone looked at each other nervously.

"So..." Jack winced. His voice sounded loud.

"So..." Sam echoed. She stuck her hands in her pockets and studied Daniel.

"Um..." Daniel pressed the bed to glide up until he was sitting. Fiddling nervously with the edge of his blanket, he smiled shyly.

"How...how much do you remember?" Sam asked softly. She tentatively sat down on the edge of the bed. "I mean. I heard what you said in the embarkation room, but-"

"Enough." Daniel's voice was soft, his eyes distant. "Enough."

"Oh." Sam looked down.

"It is good to have you well again, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c spoke, his voice booming. He gazed down at Daniel, a small smile gracing his lips. The archeologist's mouth turned up in response.

"Still needs work, Teal'c." Daniel chuckled quietly.

"Indeed."

Daniel's smile faded, and he looked down at his lap.

"Daniel?" Jack sat up, leaning as close as he could while still on the bed. The archeologist looked over sideways. Swallowing, Daniel turned back his head.

"I'm really sorry."

Jack nearly shot out of bed. "What? What on Earth for? Sorry? For what?"

"Sir." Sam pointed to her own head, and Jack shook his head.

"No, I won't accept that. This wasn't your fault, Daniel."

"I didn't remember you guys. I thought you guys were going to hurt—" The young man shook his head in disgust. "I...I-I **left** you guys back there. I abandoned you there with those things!" Daniel's head whipped up, his eyes wide with self-loathing.

"Did you have a gun?" Sam asked sharply. Daniel looked startled.

"...No. I lost mine's during the first attack."

"Did you have a bazooka hidden in your sleeve that you didn't want to share?" Jack demanded.

"That's ridiculous. You know I don't."

"So how did you expect to go against that thing? For crying out loud," Jack huffed. Carter and Teal'c looked at each other and smiled.

The guilt in his eyes faded a bit as he shrugged. Daniel picked at the material of his blanket. "I'm still sorry."

"Fine," Jack said, crossing his arms once more. "Well...I'm sorry too."

Everyone stared at Jack in surprise.

"We should have taken the goddamn bridge." The colonel's mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Well, that bridge didn't help us much either, sir." Sam pointed out. "It didn't hold us as well. We would have fallen off that thing too."

"Thanks. I feel **so** much better." Jack scowled. The captain shrugged sheepishly.

"It's just so strange," Daniel murmured, his eyes staring off into the distance. Everyone else stilled. "I..." He bit his lower lip, words failing him.

"It was a weird mission," Jack quipped, waggling his eyebrows.

Daniel laughed nervously. "Yeah."

"I'm just glad you're okay." Sam smiled, patting his hand.

Daniel lifted his eyes and shyly grinned. "I'm glad I remember."

"All of it?" Jack asked quietly, his eyes glued to Daniel's profile. Something flickered across his brown eyes, all kidding aside. "You glad you remember **all** of it?"

Daniel looked at the ceiling for a moment. "Yeah...I am." He rubbed his face wearily. "Definitely makes one realize how much things have changed."

"For good or for bad?" Sam asked.

Daniel tilted his head, moving from Sam to Teal'c. The Jaffa gazed back steadily.

"I don't know...no, wait...I do know." Daniel settled down deeper into the bed, feeling the warmth seeping into his body. He smiled slightly as Sam pulled the covers up. He wiggled a bit, going under the covers, remembering vaguely jackets tucked around him. The memory made him smile wider. The young man peered up at Sam, who looked puzzled by the scrutiny. But he shook his head and shrugged as he sank further into his bed.

"For good." Daniel blinked owlishly at Sam and Teal'c. He turned his head towards Jack who was studying him thoughtfully.

"It makes up for the bad, Jack."

"I hope so," Jack murmured, looking away. He could hear the others standing awkwardly as if unsure of what to say next. But the colonel couldn't think of anything to say, anything he thought left him a bad taste in his mouth. Jack wondered what memories came over Daniel as he arrived in the embarkation room. He wondered just how many of them were good. And if they really did outweigh the bad.

Jack had a funny feeling they really didn't.

"I can't believe how tired I am." Daniel's sleepy voice drifted to Jack, and Jack looked sideways at him. The young man rubbed his eyes, making a face as he felt the bandages just over his brow. "At least my headache is gone." He pointed weakly toward the IV, "Although, it could be because of that."

"Miracle juice," Jack quipped. Daniel shook his head, amused.

"You never really had a chance to rest back there," Carter mused. "We were there for so long. I doubt you had any true sleep."

"No..." The archeologist's eyes looked haunted. "Not really."

_Does he ever get any true sleep?_ Jack's lip curled downward as he thought about it, his stomach churning uneasily.

"You can rest now, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c spoke. "Now that you remember."

"...Yeah, sure..."

The colonel closed his eyes, hearing the forced light tone.

"Want us to get anything for you?" Sam smoothed the cover blanket on top of Daniel's legs. The young man flushed at the attention.

"Uh...feed my fish?"

Teal'c nodded solemnly. "We will feed your fish every day until you are able."

"Great, just..." Daniel trailed off with a smile.

"Not too much," Teal'c finished, his eyes twinkling with contained amusement. It made Daniel chuckle once more, the sound lighter.

"Get some rest Daniel." Sam leaned over and kissed him on the forehead. The young man turned red.

"Hey..." Jack wheedled from the other bed. "Don't I get a kiss too?"

"Uh...no." Carter grinned broadly, Teal'c arching his eyebrow towards the colonel as the leader grumbled good-naturedly.

Jack nodded to the others as they left, murmuring about returning soon. He didn't doubt it for a second. The man couldn't remember a time when that wasn't the case. He turned on his good side, wincing at the stitches pulling on the other. Daniel looked over with a small, sad smile. Jack returned it with one of his own and went back to studying the ceiling. The room fell silent, save for a few beeps from the monitors and the quiet whirring of filters around them. He scratched his chin, grimacing at the rough texture and wishing they had at least let him shave. He felt coarse under the day's growth of stubble.

"It really does, Jack."

The colonel started and glanced at Daniel. The young man wasn't looking over at him. Rather, he was conducting his own survey of the ceiling. Jack wondered what was he really seeing up there.

"Are you sure?" Jack asked softly. "Are you really sure?"

Daniel sighed. "There were times..."

Jack nodded, his eyes lower. "Yeah." _Too many times._

"But I'm sure." Daniel's voice was firm.

Surprised, the colonel lifted his eyes and saw Daniel staring back at.

"Daniel," Jack's throat was so dry. "I never really got to apologize about what happened when I was infected with the Touched vir—"

"That wasn't you," Daniel cut in. "I wish I remembered that part when it came back to me. But it wasn't you." He blinked towards Jack, his eyes crinkling up in warmth.

Jack smiled, relieved.

"You told me back there, and I know it's true...you would never try and hurt me...none of you would." Daniel rubbed his eyes and yawned. "I just wish it was like that with everyone I knew." He whispered in a soft breath.

Jack's smile faded. Daniel didn't explain, but Jack somehow knew.

"I can't believe how tired I am," Daniel repeated, his mouth wide open in a yawn. He drew up his blankets with a satisfied sigh. He didn't see the colonel studying him.

"...Daniel?"

"...Yeah, Jack?" The young man answered in a sleepy voice.

Jack coughed awkwardly, his voice gruff. "It's good to have you back."

"...Thanks." Daniel went silent and Jack wondered if he had gone to sleep.

"...Jack?"

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take off like that...well, I mean...I guess I did at the time, but..."

"It's okay, Daniel."

Daniel went on as if he didn't hear, his eyes unfocused. "All I could think of was getting home, but it didn't feel like there was anything there."

Jack frowned, his eyes sad. "You know that's not true."

"I know **now**, Jack. When I remembered," Daniel corrected. "But then...all I could think of was Sha're was back on Abydos." His voice lowered.

"I really wanted to see her again," Daniel sniffed, his voice odd as if he had a cold. "I still do."

"...You will."

"I want to see her as** her** again," Daniel said sadly. "I don't know if that's even possible."

"It is."

"You think so?"

"I **know** so."

Daniel fell silent. Jack waited a few moments, hearing breathing slowing down. Rubbing his face gingerly with his bandaged hands, Jack took a deep breath. Every ache in his body was telling him to stay still, but he wanted to get up and sit on that goddamn chair and wait for Daniel to wake up again. He wanted to keep watch, familiar with the demons that loved to creep up on his friend at night in his dreams. It was better than just sitting in bed, the silence now unnerving.

"Jack?"

The colonel began to smile again. He should have known Daniel's mind wouldn't have just dropped off to slumber so quickly. "What?"

"Back at the forest...what you did..."

"You're welcome," Jack whispered, but Daniel heard and chuckled.

"What is it about trees and bridges, Jack?"

The colonel snorted. "Damn if I know. Bad mix. Throw in some of your dusty rocks—"

"Artifacts."

Jack's smile grew broader, but he kept his eyes on the ceiling. "Yeah, yeah. Get some sleep, Daniel."

"...Kay..." Daniel yawned loudly.

"Go to sleep. It's been a hell of a mission, but it's finally over. Go to sleep." Jack murmured, watching the eyelids droop down then flutter open again as they struggled to stay up. "We'll be here when you wake up."

Daniel sighed contentedly. "I know." He heard Jack say something else, but didn't know what. Floating, drifting, Daniel Jackson fell asleep, knowing full well who would be there when he woke up.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

And neither would Jack.


End file.
